Love and marriage are very elusive things. In the first marriage, they can be said to be United, but in the second marriage, it seems that the situation is too complicated.
Second-married couples do encounter some troubles, such as the relationship with their predecessors, because the children have to associate with their predecessors, whether they trust them financially and so on. And they will face many relatively complicated situations.
This is also a very popular saying: married couples are easy to get married, but it is too difficult to "support".
However, for Shen Jie who chose to divorce after remarriage, "remarriage is easy, but remarried women are more like nannies."
Sister Shen was married twice. The first divorce was because the husband was violent. She put up with it for a long time, and finally chose a divorce when her family borrowed money from her and her husband insisted on interfering with her money. At that time, Shen Jie was still young. She felt that her husband didn't respect her and looked down on her family. Then Shen Jie divorced without hesitation. Sister Shen has a son with her first ex-husband. After the divorce, the child was raised by her ex-husband. Although divorced, Sister Shen still visits her children regularly and has a good relationship with them.
Sister Shen got married for the second time at the age of 36. At that time, she chose to get married because she listened to the matchmaker's words: "that man is an honest man, and his wife just died." If you marry him, you won't suffer, but you will also have a dependence. "
Sister Shen worked odd jobs to rent a house alone, and her parents were worried about her, so she met the person the matchmaker said, and finally got married.
02.
In Shen Jie, the second marriage seems a bit difficult to achieve, which is a very disgraceful thing. Second-married women can't ask for a bride price, because in their view, "second-married women are worthless."
Shen Jie married himself in a hurry, got the certificate, went to the Civil Affairs Bureau with the man to get the certificate, and then moved into the man's house, as if he were husband and wife.
There was no wedding, no bride price, and no friends were even invited to dinner, so we got married. I have to sigh that it is easy for divorced women to remarry, and the key is whether you are willing or not.
After Shen Jie remarried, she became a stepmother. This man has two children, and Shen Jie must take care of this man and the two children of this man and his dead wife. The stepmother is not very good, and Shen Jie has suffered a lot. When Shen Jie proposed to have another child with a man, the man directly rejected her and said on the spot, "I already have two children, and we don't need to have any more children."
Sister Shen feels very wronged, because in her view, without her own children, she will always be an outsider in this family.
It is easy to remarry, but economically, Sister Shen and her husband have been in a state of distrust. Sister Shen goes to her ex-husband's house to see the children regularly, but she is always angry with him. He wants her to stay at her present home for a while, but why doesn't she think about her children?
At the same time, men are more strict with Shen Jie economically. After sister Shen married a man, she borrowed a man's shop to open a small shop to earn some money. The man said, "Since you use my shop to make money, I don't charge rent, so you have to bear the expenses of family life."
Sister Shen found that men were almost hard on themselves financially. You can spend your own money, never spend it, and never give it to her.
In the long run, Sister Shen will inevitably feel that she is losing money and that she is like a "nanny" or an upside-down "nanny".
Economically, the AA system can be forgotten, and men always want to spend her, which makes Shen Jie unable to understand.
03.
After the second marriage, Sister Shen was really wronged. She devoted herself wholeheartedly to her two children, but even though she was kind to them, she was sometimes criticized. Stepmothers should treat their children sincerely and not abuse them. If this is her own child, she can still play a dozen, not her own. How dare you fight?
Husband has nothing to do all day, just waiting for her to cook and take care of him. In this family, the money for laundry, cooking, cleaning and take-out is hers. If her husband's parents are ill, she will still take care of them.
Shen Jie sometimes thinks, why do you work so hard? And your own efforts are not necessarily good. If you are not your own child, how can you treat yourself sincerely in the future? Now treating her as a nanny's husband gives people the feeling that she is going to be a nanny for life.
I remarried, not because of feelings, but because I became the "nanny" of this family, but I was obviously an outsider.
Finally, Shen Jie made up his mind to divorce because the man broke his word. When they first discussed marriage, the man promised to add her name to the house after five years of marriage, but five years later, the man still failed to keep his promise. Of course, men don't add her name to the house. How could he be so stupid? A man just wants to give his house to two children.
This is one of them. With the growth of age, Sister Shen found herself in this family for so many years and paid so much for this family, which is tantamount to raising a "baiwenhang".
Adult children have little respect for her because of her husband. In this way, can you expect the child to support her in the future? I feel that I have worked hard all my life, and finally I have fulfilled others and tortured myself.
After careful consideration, Sister Shen finally decided to divorce.
04.
Shen Jie figured it out, so she will make do with it in the future, which is better than being a free nanny at home.
After Shen Jie's divorce, her second husband's extended family began to regret it, but it was too late, and Shen Jie would never let herself go back.
Sister Shen, who has experienced remarriage and divorce, personally realized that remarriage is easy and women are more like "nannies".
For her, the tragic second marriage life of more than ten years is a very realistic example. No matter how much she pays, people will not appreciate her, and they may not be good to her in the future.