She broke up with her boyfriend of seven years, little D.
The news was so sudden that everyone was asking her why.
Until a party, A, who was a little drunk, finally told the reason.
"Our love has long existed in name only."
Breaking up is a small initiative, but she broke up only because she didn't want to be broken up.
"If you want to dump me, you can only dump him. You want to dump me, he doesn't deserve it! " Small A pretended to finish this sentence easily and looked up and poured a large glass of wine.
It is no wonder that in a love relationship, it is understandable that the other person loves you or not. For example, everyone knows how to drink water and wants to keep some dignity by breaking up first.
Love may be caught off guard, but breaking up must have been planned for a long time
So, if a man doesn't love you, and even prepares to break up with you, what are the signs?
Bai Yueguang in Zhu Shazhi has become a mosquito net. The love between Xiao A and Xiao D was originally valued by friends around, because Xiao D is really good to Xiao A. ..
But then it slowly changed.
Two people used to have problems. At that time, no matter who was wrong, Xiao D would take the initiative to coax Xiao. Little D will help her prepare what she wants to eat. Little d takes care of the big and small affairs at home; When Xiao was on a business trip, she woke up with a nightmare at night and called Xiao D. The next morning, she saw Xiao D smiling at her with a steaming breakfast.
Now two people can quarrel for half a month. Finally, Xiao took the initiative to find Xiao D. When Xiaoa went home for her birthday, she was full of expectations for a surprise, but she was greeted by an empty room, explaining that there was only one message: "I went out to play with my friends." On weekdays, Xiao D always blames Xiao, which is completely different from the previous gentleness and tolerance.
If in a relationship, a man starts looking at you everywhere and finding fault with everything, it means that he may not love you so much.
Love is the best filter. Under the action of this filter, your small shortcomings are lovely, and your proper willfulness is fun. No matter how many shortcomings or deficiencies you have, he will try his best to tolerate you and give you meticulous care and consideration.
Therefore, when you find that a man doesn't like you at first, criticizes you everywhere, lacks the necessary tolerance and generosity for you, and is critical of you, you should understand that the filter has disappeared.
So you show your true colors in his eyes, even if you do something he doesn't like, you will add to the crime.
"Can you stay with me?" "I am very busy." Xiao likes shopping. I used to follow a man carrying a big bag-Xiao D every time I walked quickly in the mall.
Xiao, while shuttling between shops, urged Xiao D to catch up quickly. Xiao D smiled and shook his head, and then out of nowhere came Xiao A's favorite milk tea, and gently asked, "Are you tired? I will continue to accompany you after a rest. "
Now the normal state is that Xiao wants to go out shopping, and Xiao D impatiently refuses:
Two people in love have to pay the cost of time, and usually they are willing to pay the cost, because they enjoy each other's time very much, and they think it is worthwhile to spend time with each other.
Then when he doesn't love you, of course he doesn't want to be with you anymore. He will think, "I can obviously use this time to do other things." Then of course he will refuse your request, because in his view, you are not worth it now.
Well, I see. You're so annoying. When I first fell in love, what I did most every day was to talk to Xiao D on the phone. They could talk all day, from trivial matters to life ideals. I don't even want to hang up all night and fall asleep listening to each other's breathing on the phone.
The normal state now is that Xiao Ah chatters with Xiao D like a lark, sharing his feelings, and Xiao D is unmoved.
This conversation makes people's blood pressure rise, and the small mood can be imagined.
In feelings, when you realize that the distance between you is getting farther and farther, he becomes more and more silent and indifferent in front of you, doesn't care about what you see and hear, and doesn't want to hear what you see and feel.
That may be a sign that he wants to break up.
If he loves you, he will want to know everything about you, want to synchronize your mood, and wish to become a worm in your stomach.
He doesn't love you, and everything about you has nothing to do with him.
After all, how can people control themselves from trying to understand the people they love?
I even began to miss when we quarreled, Xiao didn't take measures against Xiao D, who was getting colder and colder.
Xiao likes to eat ice cream. Even during the physiological period, he will eat it secretly.
Little d quarreled with him about it.
So one day, Xiao Xia bought a lot of ice cream when Xiao D knew that she was in her physiological period.
Deliberately started eating in front of little D.
While eating, Xiao looked at Xiao D proudly, thinking that he would snatch the ice cream from her as before, and gently blamed her for being so disobedient and having a stomachache.
But little D just glanced at little A lightly and went into the house to play games.
Ice cream is cold, and the little heart is even colder.
In the relationship between two people, they are not afraid of quarreling, and they are afraid of being too lazy to quarrel.
If he doesn't even give you a chance to quarrel, it means he doesn't care.
It doesn't matter to you, and it doesn't matter to your.
Imagine, would you quarrel with passers-by in the street? No, because you think you have nothing to do with each other.
When you even begin to miss quarreling, it means that love is far away from you.
"Why didn't you reply to my message?" "Forgotten" I don't remember when it started, and the conversation between the two began to change from you to me and turned into a mechanical question and answer.
I used to send messages to little D, and little D always called back every second. Even if the reply is not timely, when I see it, I will explain what I was doing just now and why I can't reply.
Now the conversation between two people has become
"Did you have breakfast?" "yes."
"Did you have lunch?" "yes."
"Have you eaten?" "yes."
I didn't even get a reply many times.
In a rage, Xiao decided not to take the initiative to send him a message to see if he would take the initiative to find himself.
This wait is three days.
Three days later, Xiao finally received a message from Xiao Ting:
"Where did you put my coat?"
There is a saying called "What are you doing", which is equivalent to "I miss you"
In love, the other person sends you a message on his own initiative, indicating that the other person thinks of you, wants to know your situation, your mood and whether you are thinking of him.
And when he stopped sending you messages, in another sense, he hardly thought of you, and you had no place in his heart.
At this time, you either choose to send a message sadly and wait for his reply anxiously.
Either you have lost patience in endless anxiety and waiting, and you can only choose to break up.
We are no longer like lovers, but more like sharing a room. Little A's friends always laugh at them as conjoined twins.
The two men were almost inseparable, holding hands wherever they went.
In order to live with Xiao A, Xiao D is even willing to drive to work for an hour every day.
Now, let alone intimate contact, even kisses and hugs seem so far away.
Little d will never be able to sleep without hugging little a as in the past.
Two people lie on the bed back to back, like two strangers sleeping together.
Xiao tried to dress up carefully, indicating that he wanted to be close to Xiao D.
Little d just said, "I'm tired."
Turn your back on Xiao, pull up the quilt.
Do two people in love suppress the idea of getting closer to each other?
But if the other person's love for you has disappeared, he will choose to avoid close contact with you. At this time, your relationship is worse than strangers.
You look like lovers living under the same roof, but more like sharing.
There is no way to force feelings. Since you love, you should cherish it, not too much. If you don't love, it is a good choice to let go at the right time.
Don't try to rationalize each other's behavior. What you are waiting for is probably just disappointment again and again.
In fact, when you doubt whether he still loves you, the answer is obvious.
How can people who keep warm by fire feel cold?
Psychological test: test the probability of getting back together after breaking up.
Have you ever thought about the possibility of getting back together after two people break up? This set of test questions helps you test the probability of getting back together after breaking up. Let's try it together.
Do you still have your ex's contact information in your mobile phone?
It's five points.
No, all 0 points have been deleted.
What is the reason why you broke up?
Due to objective reasons, the family disagreed with 1.
Long-distance love, no future 2 points.
TA thinks I have a bad temper and our personalities are incompatible. Three points
There is a third party involved in our relationship.
After our quarrel, no one would bow their heads and broke up in a rage.
I think TA has a bad temper, always complaining, and was dumped by TA for 6 points.
Of the following four statements, if you had to choose one statement that you agree with most, which one would you choose?
If a person loves another person, he should love all of TA, regardless of its advantages or disadvantages. Otherwise, it is not true love. He likes 2 points at most.
Although feelings are what you want, but it depends on people's efforts, the other person's love can also be controlled, as long as it can meet the other person's psychological needs, love can guide 4 points.
Twisted melons are not sweet. If TA doesn't want to get back together, I respect the idea of TA 1 minute.
The emotional world can never be equal, and those who want to get back together must not be stingy with their 6 points.
When you express one thing, you value it more.
The accuracy of verbal expression is 2 points.
Talking to the other person gives the other person a strong impression of 1.
Are the people around you comfortable with what you said? 6 points
The ultimate goal that words can achieve is 4 points.
What do you think are your basic emotional characteristics?
Emotional, often unable to control his temper 0 points.
Self-control ability is strong, the surface is calm, but the inner mood fluctuates greatly, and it is difficult to calm down 2 points in case of contusion.
Everything is a cloud, and it is not easy to get angry by nature. My friend praised me for my good temper by six points.
Feelings are not slow and direct, but once they are unstable, they are easily excited and angry. Three points
Did you save your ex?
I saved it, but it was rejected. I didn't save four points.
No, I don't know what the other person is thinking, so I dare not say 2 points.
I saved it several times, but the other party was very exclusive, Lahei, and I don't want to see my zero again.
I tried to talk, but the other party thought we were not suitable. Hope to find happiness 6 points.
The complete version of the test questions and answers can be obtained by private mail.
I'm Chen Yu, an emotional counselor, and I know more than you think. If you are emotionally confused, you can ask for a private letter or comment.