So I dug out Professor Li Meijin's parenting lecture to study. Professor Li Meijin said that children at all ages before the age of 12 have a golden period. Only by grasping the growth characteristics of children and giving them some physical and psychological comfort can they be more relaxed and their path will be more stable.
Before the age of three, parent-child relationship is the foundation of education.
Everyone agrees that no matter how hard it is, we should take our children with us. Because the lack of early emotions will lead to a lifelong gap between parents and children, and it will also become the most difficult problem to digest in discipline. Professor Li Meijin emphasized that parents must raise their children by themselves before they are three years old, and give them the most positive attention and response. The child was born fragile and lonely. They can't move or talk, and their parents' response constitutes his belief in the world.
In infancy, children are coaxed when they cry, hugged when they feel uncomfortable, and satisfied when they are hungry. This stable and positive relationship gives children the greatest sense of satisfaction and security. This intimate emotional relationship is called attachment in psychology. Many times, we have a misunderstanding that as parents, we are born with the ability to discipline our children. But when children grow up, parents can understand that identity is never the key to discipline. The psychological attraction of children's emotional attachment to their parents is the source of their willingness to listen to instructions. In other words, attachment is the foundation of education. If parents miss the critical stage of establishing attachment and fail to establish close relationship with their children, education will become the most difficult thing in the world in the future.
Psychologist Gordon Neufeld said that almost all behavioral problems are related, and behind children's evasion, rebellion and disobedience lies their lack of attachment to their parents. As parents, we should connect this important psychological bond between parents and children when their children need it, so as to have the guiding power in the long growth process of children.
Before the age of 6, personality determines the ultimate success or failure of children.
Professor Li Meijin once said a very sharp sentence: Before a child is six years old, parents' nagging and words are all gold, but after 12 years old, parents' words are rubbish. The problem of children is lagging behind, and then they miss the critical period of training. When you find the problem, it may take a ton of effort to correct the habit that you only need one kilogram of effort. Therefore, three to six years old is also called the golden age of children's character cultivation. At this time, helping children to establish good qualities and habits will benefit him for life.
Not long ago, Huawei announced the candidates for talented teenagers. Zhang Ji, who can get the highest annual salary of 2,065,438+0,000, has only a bachelor's degree and comes from three universities. Surprisingly, this is the result of his re-reading. Yao Ting, who was also selected as a gifted teenager, only took an ordinary high school in the senior high school entrance examination. They are obviously not the cleverest, and perhaps not the hardest-working, but their excellent qualities are extremely eye-catching. Throughout their experiences, they all follow independence, planning, concentration and self-discipline, which are supporting them to break through themselves and gain unlimited possibilities in the future.
It can be seen that our excellent qualities and habits are not born, but rooted in our family. As educators of children, parents should consciously set up children's behavior norms in their upbringing, such as teaching children how to understand and abide by rules, guiding children to learn to share and bear, and letting children learn to be grateful and responsible. For example, they should accept setbacks, patiently guide and polish their resilience. Before the age of six, it really doesn't matter how many words children know, how many questions they can do and how many poems they recite. These weak advantages will soon disappear, and only quality and habits have the power to travel through time, affecting children's behavior for many years and ultimately determining success or failure.
/kloc-before the age of 0/2, value affects the positioning of children.
There used to be a saying on the Internet that children's test scores determined the degree of family harmony. I believe that most parents with school-age children have deep feelings. A child's academic performance is like a sword hanging over his head. It's really painful to be stimulated by it from time to time. Parents expect their children to always get high marks, but there is a fact that they have to face. Different children have different natures and abilities. Some students are born as top students, and some really have scenery elsewhere, so even with the same efforts, sometimes they can't get the same results. As a parent, you must choose to learn to recognize a child's personality and then help him discover his own abilities. This sense of value will form a child's self-orientation.
Unfortunately, many parents don't see the bright spot in their children, and pass on their anxiety to them, making them lose themselves under pressure. After watching a program, a little girl likes writing novels very much. With her love, she has written more than 300,000-word novels since primary school. As a result, girls got good grades in liberal arts, but weak grades in science. Her father tore up the novel in a rage in order to spur his daughter's grades to go hand in hand in all subjects. And think that novels are the chief culprit of delaying her daughter's academic performance. The saddest thing is that the father said to his choked daughter, "You can do what others can do. Come on, I believe many parents are also adhering to this concept. In comparison and competition, the forced children can't get along with themselves.
The initial companionship and response of life is the starting point of all education; Guidance and correction in childhood are the basis of behavior habits; The affirmation and support of youth is the embryonic form of life value.