First, avoid the common dilemma of visitors in psychological counseling.
It is courageous and risky for a person to walk into a psychological counseling room. Many visitors have experienced a lot of counseling, and many psychological counselors may not be able to find the right one. Although the influence of the psychological counseling industry is growing, it is not easy for a visitor to enter the psychological counseling room. There are psychological pressures, realistic pressures and concerns about the effectiveness of counseling.
First of all, many visitors come to consult behind their families' backs, fearing that others will know that they are consulting or that they have mental illness. Traditional ideas easily associate psychological problems with "mental illness". Of course, many people gradually accept psychological counseling, but psychological counseling is still taboo in many places. It is dangerous for others to know that they are consulting.
Secondly, the current cost of psychological counseling is not low. The cost of each consultation is basically several hundred, as high as three or five thousand times (50 minutes), which is not a small expense for visitors, especially for remote consultation.
Thirdly, as a visitor, it is difficult to make a preliminary analysis of the consultant. Sometimes, through the introduction on the website and some superficial introductions, or the well-known and widely spread consultants, visitors are only superficial cognition, but in fact they don't have too much and too deep understanding of the consultant's personality and growth level. Sometimes counseling is like gambling. If you meet a qualified consultant, you are lucky. If you meet an unqualified consultant, you will be more vulnerable to injury and attack, and you will be "secondary injured" and there is no way to defend your rights.
Some visitors who pay for long-term treatment can easily get into trouble. After doing it several times, they found that there was something wrong with the counselor itself. Psychological counselors can't handle their own psychological problems, and even have some contradictions and disputes with psychological counselors, but it is difficult to call a spade a spade and ask for a refund. The two sides will have disputes over this matter. As a vulnerable group, tourists have difficulty in safeguarding their rights. Many visitors have suffered a dumb loss, and if they can't get their money back, they will not consult.
Giving visitors the initiative and choice of each consultation is responsible for visitors, and visitors can also be responsible for themselves.
Second, the effect of each consultation is the touchstone for visitors.
The charm of psychological counseling is that its process is full of unknowns and uncertainties. In this process, there will be many unexpected problems. No counselor can guarantee that he is suitable for every visitor and can solve any psychological problems. But in the process of consultation, no matter what happens, the counselor will face it, feel the experience, accompany the visitors and go through a long process of psychological growth together.
When the initiative and choice of each consultation are in the hands of visitors, the consultant is a naked swimmer. He must treat every visitor with his own ability and strength, be cautious and bold in every consultation, be timid and have answers, be cautious and professional in every consultation, and slowly explore psychological unspeakable secrets and emotions with visitors in every consultation, without any slack.
Visitors are the feelings and experiencers of psychological counseling, the evaluators of counseling effects, and the undertakers of counseling expenses. When visitors are not satisfied with the consultation effect or are not ready, they can freely choose to interrupt the consultation process at any time. Don't restrict the freedom of tourists for other reasons. In this way, counselors and visitors can be equal, because visitors hold the sword of consultation, and I can always choose not to come next time.
Third, psychological counseling is a long-term process, but it is composed of every consultation.
Rome was not built in a day. A person's psychological composition itself is a very complicated matter. Why a person becomes like this cannot be summarized and defined by a certain diagnosis.
People are so complicated, human nature is so complicated, a person's family background is so complicated, and a person's growth process is so complicated. How is a person defined by a diagnostic label? The deeper the psychological consultation, the smaller the significance of diagnosis, and even overturn the original so-called "diagnosis". Symptoms are just manifestations of pain and conflict in a person's subconscious. For exploring a person's heart, its significance is more symbolic, as a clue to go deeper, rather than the ultimate "judgment" of a person.
For psychological counseling, "symptoms" are only the starting point. Starting from here is the clue of externalization of subconscious conflict, not the goal of "suit the right medicine".
It is precisely because of the complexity of psychological counseling that some seemingly simple physical and mental problems, such as insomnia, eating disorders, movement disorders, social fear, fear of intimacy, no happiness and so on. In fact, it contains a deep subconscious foundation, which embodies a person's love and hate for decades, and there are many unknown injuries and underlying emotions. What we have to face is an extremely complicated matter, and it takes a long time to get close to the deep subconscious reasons.
As a counselor, you must grow up on your own and be prepared to accompany the psychological growth of visitors for a long time, but you can't force visitors to consult. You need to respect the wishes of visitors, establish a good relationship between them, let visitors choose freely and leave freely, let visitors have an independent choice, and follow the principle of "freedom of consultation and autonomy".
As a consultant, it is extremely difficult to accompany visitors for long-term psychological growth and gradually become themselves. It takes years or even decades of psychological counseling to accompany visitors to become themselves. Therefore, the consultation needs to be done slowly, and it is not urgent, and it will go deeper and deeper bit by bit. Every time you consult, you will exert yourself, sometimes repeatedly, take a step back, take two steps back, and keep the pace of progress.
Fourthly, the counseling relationship is a crucial link in psychological counseling.
Psychological counseling has a principle: relationship is higher than technology.
When the visitor recognizes and trusts the counselor, when the visitor feels safe and warm, it is possible to present the deepest wounds and secrets in his heart, which requires a long process of establishing the relationship between the counselor and the visitor.
It is extremely difficult for a consultant to gain the recognition and trust of visitors. Counselors are observing and feeling visitors, and visitors are also evaluating counselors. In the early stage of psychological counseling, visitors will set a lot of psychological traps, put down a lot of "bait", release a lot of smoke bombs, test the ability and level of counselors, and test whether counselors have the ability and strength to accompany them to grow up. If the counselor stepped on the mine of "psychological game" without knowing it, maybe the previous efforts would be gone, and everything would have to start from scratch, depending on whether there were visitors.
Therefore, the professional requirements for psychological counselors are very high. Counselors need to strive to grow themselves and meet the requirements of visitors in order to gain the recognition and trust of visitors.
A psychological counselor needs to go through a long-term self-growth process before entering the psychological counseling room, which requires years or even decades of efforts. What level can a counselor reach and what level can he accompany visitors?
As a consultant, you need to stand the test in theoretical study, self-growth and life practice, and combine what you have learned, gained and made good use of it. A counselor needs to be himself first, repair his family trauma, establish his intimate relationship, apply psychology to his life, sum up his experience in practice, and live from theory to practice and from virtual to real, so as to better accompany the growth of visitors.
If the consultant himself does not grow well, sometimes he walks into the consulting room and can't help the visitors, which may harm the visitors and lead others into the ditch.
Fifth, psychological counseling is a process of attracting visitors to tell.
Counselors rent their own ears, good ears and good prices.
How to let visitors tell their own stories slowly, understand and analyze themselves slowly, and continue to extend downward, which in itself is a test for psychological counselors.
Consultants need ignorance first. This part requires the consultant to have strong self-confidence and determination, slowly and steadily, and follow the rhythm of the visitors. I don't know if you don't tell me I don't know anything about visitors, and I am full of curiosity. All information needs to rely on the expression and narration of visitors. Consultants should not interfere and define them artificially, because every word of visitors has its unique meaning. Counselors slowly experience feelings and tastes, and feel the unique breath and taste of visitors, just like a painting, which unfolds slowly, instead of forcibly intervening at the beginning of painting. They are patient enough to listen to visitors' stories. In the process of telling,
Of course, this process does not mean that the counselor does not speak. Try not to talk if you can. Once expressed, it can make the finishing point, guide visitors to gradually deepen their self-awareness and tell more forgotten information and clues. ?
Sixth, give the initiative and choice of each consultation to the visitors.
You're here, I'm here; If you don't come, I'll still be here.
Counselors are stable, don't give up, don't give up, don't attack in the face of visitors' attacks, respect visitors' wishes and motives, and even if they leave, they can give each other an opportunity to communicate and discuss. What mistakes did the counselor make, what made you uncomfortable, whether he suppressed and hid his unexpressed emotions and feelings, and whether there were expression problems in the relationship. By leaving, he expressed his energy and emotions, so that the other party had enough space to face them.
The stability of the consulting relationship will be felt by the lines. Some lines of consulting relationship are very thick and firm, and you can face whatever happens. Some lines are thin but tough, and they can face whatever happens; Some threads are very thin and fragile, and they will break if you are not careful.
Some visitors will stop consulting for their own economic reasons, family reasons or other reasons (satisfied with their current growth level). As a consultant, I should give them understanding and respect, and at the same time express that I have been here. Sometimes after a while, visitors will come back to continue their unfinished journey of psychological growth.
The road of psychological counseling is tortuous. Respect every visitor, respect every decision of the visitor, experience in the process, accompany in the process, and go through a unique journey of psychological growth together. In this process, the initiative and choice of each consultation are given to the visitors.