Junshan's view on this matter is that normal use of mobile phones should be advocated. After all, mobile phones have many advantages, which can make people contact conveniently, consult a lot of materials and enrich our lives. However, everything is too late. If children are allowed to use mobile phones without restraint, or even forget to eat and sleep, they are addicted to them, resulting in neglect of their studies and no peace at home, then it is a big mistake.
The "inverse son" of junior high school is cultivated by mobile phone! A mother almost collapsed when she asked me for advice.
The son whose mother is still in junior high school has become "inhuman" because he is addicted to mobile phones. He plays truant at home every day and plays mobile games day and night. When his parents try to persuade him, he will yell "get out" at his parents, and even hit people if he talks too much. His parents sent him to the hospital to quit Internet addiction and tied him up for two days and two nights. In the end, he got a child's face of hatred, even crazier hatred.
In the face of this mother's problem, I have been thinking for a long time, but I still deeply feel that I am neither a doctor nor a mage, but just a teacher. There is really nothing I can do for children who are addicted to mobile phones.
Children like this, in fact, I have met:
1, a child refused to study in a good key class because of a mobile phone problem, escaped over the wall from school and didn't come back all night. Finally, he and his parents staged a tug-of-war of "affection and stubbornness" in the street, which lasted for nearly 12 hours. It was not until 5 am that he reluctantly went home after his parents promised to buy him a new mobile phone and quit the key class.
Another thing is that a student in our neighboring middle school was stopped by his father for playing mobile phone. He is so addicted to mobile phones that he can't tell black from white. He waddled into the river. The father immediately went down to the river to save him and used his last strength to push his son to the shore. However, his father never had the strength to climb up again, lying at the bottom of the river and staged a human tragedy.
Middle school students' cell phone addiction and drug addiction are essentially the same! This is very dangerous and repetitive. If people are in the environment created by mobile phones, they will have all kinds of hallucinations and do all kinds of bizarre things, and what is right and wrong will be forgotten. In this case, conventional preaching and imparting wisdom can't be effective!
Moreover, cell phone addiction is more hidden than drug addiction. Drug addiction is easy to find and the whole society is paying attention to it. Drug addicts will be sent to the corresponding drug rehabilitation places, but cell phone addiction is far from attracting the attention of the whole society. What is even more frightening is that even many parents will not pay attention to this matter, thinking that "it is harmless for children to play!" As everyone knows, it is a terrible thing to find a child trapped in a mobile phone and realize that "mobile phone addiction+rebellious period" is a terrible thing. If the guidance is not good afterwards, it will inevitably lead to tragedy.
There is no real place to quit cell phone addiction in society, so that when I answer my desperate mother, I can only tell her to ask her children to consult a psychologist. But in fact, I know very well that without professional coercion, the purpose of treatment can not be achieved simply through the guidance of a psychologist. To tell the truth, children who can be guided by you are not a big problem; If the problem is really serious, you can't expect him to let you channel it.
When you encounter a mobile phone in a rebellious period, you should focus on nip in the bud! On how to solve the problem of middle school students' "mobile phone addiction", Junshan always thinks that the most important thing is to nip in the bud.
So, how to nip in the bud? We must first understand why middle school students are addicted to mobile phones.
The following is Junshan's personal opinion as a rural teacher. If it is different from what you see, you can refer to it:
1, parents didn't pay attention to it and didn't take precautions;
As I said before, drugs are terrible, but what about mobile phones? Is endless loveliness. Almost all parents have the idea of "playing with a mobile phone, why make a fuss". Therefore, children use mobile phones, and parents often turn a blind eye. At most, I am worried that "playing mobile phones is not good for my eyes!"
I often see such parents chatting with people with their children, and the children clamor for their father to take them to play! But dad didn't have this idea at this moment! As soon as I turned around, I threw my mobile phone to the child. "Hey, you play first!" It is true that mobile phones have become a "baby artifact" for many parents!
Children in parents' eyes always have a kind of "filter" beauty, how cute. Even if they play mobile phones at home for a day, they will think that my children will definitely not be addicted. Teachers are often the first to find problems, for example, several students get together to talk about games instead of studying as a whole; For example, a student always has no energy to lie on his desk in class; For example, if a student buries his head in a desk forever ..... When these phenomena appear, nine times out of ten, the child is addicted to mobile phones.
Responsible teachers will inform parents at the first time, and some parents will attach great importance to the teacher's words. However, what I have seen, especially in rural areas, many parents have no mind to pay attention to them at all. I even met a case where the school paid for it and parents came to the school to help their children beg for mobile phones.
I handled such a thing today. The child was punished by the school for repeatedly violating the school rules and playing mobile phones in the classroom, which had a very bad influence. Hearing the news, my parents almost jumped up. Instead of asking children why they bring mobile phones, they blindly accuse the school of being too strict, and even threaten to find fault with the school, and go to the Education Bureau to tell teachers and schools that the school is overwhelmed. In the face of such parents, Junshan really has only one idea, a good child, and it is parents who destroy him! How does Xiong Haizi practice? Isn't it because of these parents?
2. Parents themselves are serious mobile phone addicts, and it is difficult for them to set an example;
Compared with students, 80% of parents, especially those in rural areas, are serious mobile phone addicts, and they can't live without mobile phones every day. It is reported that a mother took her child out for a walk, and her mother has been playing with her mobile phone. Finally, the child fell into the river, and her mother knew nothing about it. Although such an example is extreme, it can actually be seen that it is difficult for parents to set an example for their children now.
3. Parents are out of control of their children as a whole;
In rural areas, there is a unique phenomenon, that is, many parents lose control of their children. Especially in rural areas, there are a large number of left-behind children whose parents are not around, but in order to facilitate their contact with their parents, they are often equipped with a mobile phone. Contacting their parents is a legitimate reason for them to use mobile phones, but the more direct role of mobile phones for them is actually playing games.
Another kind of children are also rural children, but these children are sent to the city by their parents for "living" school. According to our observation, these children are also "out of control" mobile phone addicts.
Junshan once wrote a text devoted to this issue. After a large number of rural children are sent to cities to study, due to the imperfect school accommodation system, a large number of rural children hide in hidden places such as playgrounds and dormitory toilets to play mobile phones all night after evening self-study. Because I only go home once a week, it is basically difficult for parents to find out, and when parents find out, the child's problem is already very serious.
Knowing the reason, it is not so difficult to prevent "children's mobile phone addiction": 1, communicate with the teacher more and keep the teacher's words in mind:
To avoid children's cell phone addiction, the most important thing is that parents must listen to the voice of the school teacher. When the teacher tells you about the child, you should pay attention. Especially for the children I mentioned above who go to boarding schools, parents should run more schools and know more about their children's school conditions. If the child is in the state I described above, we should consider sending the child to a day school or changing to a more suitable environment.
In the town where Junshan is located, a large number of students flow out every year. These students go out of the countryside with the desire to enjoy quality education, but according to our tracking, basically not many students can be admitted to quality high schools. Further investigation found that it was mostly related to addiction to mobile phones.
Therefore, for children in the rebellious period of junior high school, Junshan still advises parents to stay with them as much as possible if they can stay with them, so that they can often see the changes of their children and enhance their feelings with them; Secondly, it can also prevent children from having some irreversible problems during the rebellious period.
2. Help children gradually eliminate the negative effects of mobile phones in a step-by-step way;
If children find themselves addicted to mobile phones, but it is not particularly serious, we can use some conventional educational means to correct the deviation. But the rectification must follow the principle of "step by step".
In the management of rebellious children, we must not go to two extremes: either take care of the children to death, beat them up and lock them up, thinking that this will scare them; Or find that "repeated threats are useless", parents will be angry to the end, simply ignore it and let it die.
We must be clear that the more anxious you are, the more rebellious you are. But the more you ignore it, the more presumptuous he becomes. Therefore, for them, it is neither heavy nor heavy; Can't fight, can't scold; What is the only thing that can be done? Let him spend this time calmly, which is a good guide and companion.
Junshan once met a girl who was extremely rebellious and seriously tired of learning in the second day of junior high school. The teacher went to persuade her to learn. She was holding a big tree and you wouldn't let go. People at that time said that she was rebellious to the extreme. Later, instead of forcing her to go back to school, we suspended her from school for a period of time. After adjustment, now the girl has successfully passed the rebellious period and her grades are very stable. So, how should we proceed step by step? Junshan believes that it can be a form of setting goals for children.
For example, the week before, it is stipulated how much time to play a day and when to play. Here, there is a little trick, you should grasp when to play this point. For example, in the past, children usually played after 10 in the evening, so you stipulated that you could play for 2 hours after dinner. Why is it so stipulated? Because children used to play mobile phones after ten o'clock, this time period must be focused on the objects that children want to contact, and if you let him stagger this time point, he will gradually separate from this group of people for a long time and naturally return to the right track.
In the second week, on the basis of the previous week, reduce a certain amount of time to play mobile phones; By the third week, reduce it again until you feel that your child's playing mobile phone is under control.
There is a psychological effect of 2 1 day, that is, it takes 2 1 day for a person to form a habit. Therefore, in the matter of giving up mobile phones, we should also take 2 1 day as a cycle, and parents must not give up halfway.
3. Enrich their lives and children's lives, and let them go out and see the world more;
Research shows that the reason why children are addicted to mobile phones is related to boring study and family life. Because there is nothing that can attract him in reality, he will be addicted to the virtual space created by mobile phones or the Internet.
Therefore, in order to solve children's cell phone addiction, we need to create a colorful living environment for children. This kind of living environment includes all kinds of colorful activities provided by the school, and parents should also provide their children with rich family life, such as letting their children do some housework together; For example, you can raise small animals and take care of flowers and plants with your children; For example, arranging some family outings every week not only relaxes the mood, but also gives children no chance to play mobile phones.
In short, it is the most effective way to quit mobile phones to fill the time for children to play mobile phones with beneficial activities!
Conclusion: There are thousands of methods, the first one is heart. As a parent, if I don't expect and pay for my children, then all my methods above are nonsense. However, if parents focus on children first, then refer to the above methods and take fewer detours, they will be able to handle the problem well within the controllable range.