① Is there really a "seven-year itch" between husband and wife?
② Why is there a "seven-year itch"?
③ How to save the "seven-year itch" marriage crisis?
It is often said that "one year to keep the promise, three years to suffer, five years to separate, seven years to itch, ten years to promise"? Is marriage really a seven-year itch?
Many couples are disgusted with the seven-year itch. Do all couples have to go through this stage? Why does the seven-year marriage itch?
? What is the "seven-year itch"?
The Seven-Year Itch originated from the American film The Seven-Year Itch released on 1955. It's a Chinese word, which means that love will enter a critical period after seven years.
? Scientific analysis of "seven-year itch"
Human cells complete the whole metabolism once every seven years on average. In fact, this is a cumulative number of years. Cell replacement in the human body is not carried out at the same time, but one by one. The "seven-year itch" generally means that in the seventh year, a person's love or marriage life may be bored because of the dull rules of love or marriage life, and when it comes to burnout, it will experience a crisis test.
Is there really a "seven-year itch" in love marriage? ? I interviewed many married couples to see what they said.
@ Pink Cow: We have been together for nine years and have been married for almost four years. Regardless of external factors, I think our feelings are better than many people. We will sleep together, kiss before going to work, miss each other for a few days apart, that is, we often quarrel over our family because there are too many family members involved. I think that if we can live alone without the influence of family factors, our happiness will be improved a lot.
@gigi: I am a long-distance married man. I met my husband for eight months and got married. My little sister introduced me. We have been married 10 years! There is a son and a daughter. His parents and sisters are very kind to me. We have no vigorous love, and there is no seven-year itch. We just live a plain life. Occasionally, my husband will send a red envelope or buy a small gift on holidays, and I will feel very happy and satisfied. I think he is a person who doesn't know much about romance. Many times, he will forget, because he knows him better, so he feels nothing.
@ Kiki: My husband and I are in the eighth year! The eldest son is seven years old and the youngest son is four years old! We became buddies, and we haven't slept together since the baby was born! I'm used to it, and he seems to be used to it! He is a careless person. He has never given a gift since he got married. He doesn't remember any festivals. Even if he knew, he wouldn't give me a gift! He betrayed me. Our relationship is for the children! There is nothing to tell me at ordinary times, and I don't want to divorce, because I can't bear to have children! I have all the money for the house and car. In case of divorce, he will leave home clean. We agreed! Let's live like this, he is better than those who have domestic violence!
@ Jenny: In the seventh year, my husband cheated.
My husband and I have known each other for ten years and have been married for six years. Love has long been a family relationship, so what's the harm of itching for a few years?
@ Huajie: I have known him for thirteen years, and I still love him. He said I was his relative now. To put it bluntly, I feel that after a long time, he has lost the passion between lovers, so it is only a matter of time before he betrays me.
@ Sunny: Married in September this year 10 year. My husband just can't express his age I never realized how much he loved me when I got married. I didn't express it much. I never said that he loved me. Only when I am drunk will I say something he has never said to me. Usually I seldom say anything, but I believe what he said is true. I come home from work every day, greet me if I don't come back, and do housework when I come back. I think this is a good day.
@ Tigress: My husband and I have known each other for eleven years and have been married for five years. We can't say whether we love each other or not. Maybe we are used to each other's existence. Without surprises and sweet words, we live a dull life.
@ Nini: My husband and I have been married for seven years and sleep with each other at night.
@ 嗮嗮嗮嗮: I really don't know how those feelings that are still inseparable after marriage come from. It doesn't feel realistic here, and it's not pleasing to the eye to meet again after three years of marriage
@ Beibei: My husband and I have been married for six years and four years. The child is three years old. He is seven years older than me. He never quarrels with me. There were no surprises during the holiday. Life is plain. I don't know if it will be okay now.
@ Miner: My husband and I have been married for ten years. Although he has many aspects that make my teeth itch, I still love him very much. He loves me too. Although he usually doesn't talk much, I can feel it.
@ 丫丫丫丫丫: The ex-wife derailed for seven years, and the family was broken. For myself and my son.
@ E Sister: My husband and I have no feelings. He let me down so much. Now that he meets me, I'm annoyed and don't know what to do.
@ Xue Hui: What should I do? I have been married for 9 years. At present, there is basically nothing to say except children. Although the two places are separated, I make 2 3 phone calls or videos every day, surrounded by children, children and the elderly. I can't say that my feelings are bad, but sometimes I really feel very tired.
@ Lian Jie: Seven years, that is, the seventh year of divorce, I don't know what it's like.
@ Xin Wei: Seven years, defeated by San Xiao.
@ Cher: Not necessarily seven years, maybe five years, maybe eight years. Anyway, men can't always be as kind to their wives as they are when they are in love, but I am too naive. After ten years of marriage, I can feel that my husband is becoming more and more indifferent. In fact, my heart is the same, or work hard for the children.
@ 99: Right now, not necessarily seven years, maybe two years, three years have arrived, and sometimes I really want to slap each other to death. It's no exaggeration.
My friend said that the seven-year itch really exists, and my husband and I have a good relationship. But in the seventh year of marriage, suddenly seeing her husband is not pleasing to the eye, and it is two people who are not pleasing to the eye. Once, no one talked to anyone. She said they hadn't said a word for half a year. I said that they are not divorced, which means that you are true love.
@ Jun Jun: My husband and I have been married for six years, and we are about to enter the seven-year itch. In fact, our marriage has long been popular. Husband socializes very late every day and is basically not at home on weekdays. Even if I have a free day occasionally, I will spend it with my computer. What anniversary? Christmas? It's none of my business. I tried to play the coquetry with him, and he always said, "Young people are like this. We are married, so don't join in the fun. "
Since then, I have never asked him for a gift. Our present marriage is like chicken ribs. It is tasteless to eat and a pity to abandon it. It seems that marriage really has a shelf life.
@ Ming Ge: I have the most say in the seven-year itch. Because my wife and I just celebrated our seventh anniversary. Not only did we not have the so-called "itch", but we also left our children with our parents and traveled abroad for seven days. It was a journey that only belonged to us. We just want to tell you by actions that there is no such thing as a seven-year itch in marriage, but we have to use it with our heart.
Based on the above interview opinions:
A few people say that we can't "itch for seven years" and marriage is in a dull period. Among them, a certain proportion of people say that there will be a "seven-year itch", which shows that there is still a certain probability that the "seven-year itch" exists between people.
Why is there a "seven-year itch"? ? The reasons I analyzed mainly include the following aspects ↓
1. Life is dull and passion is gone.
From three years before marriage to pregnancy and childbirth, the husband and wife are busy with their lives and have no itching. At this juncture of seven years, when children go to primary school, everything is stable and life becomes dull.
Husband and wife have long been familiar with each other's everything, and there is no novelty and mystery. Everything is taken for granted, and they will no longer pay attention to each other. Sexual life is no longer passionate, just like touching your right hand with your left hand, so you have ulterior motives.
2. Stress increases and understanding and tolerance disappear.
After seven years of marriage, I can say that I have gradually entered middle age. There are old people in the world and young people in the world, and the living expenses of mortgage and car loan are frequent. In order to make a living, I am exhausted when I get home. Life does not easily lead to different hardships between husband and wife. If some contradictions between husband and wife don't understand and tolerate each other, they will be even more reluctant to go home and want to find peace outside, so it is easy to have ulterior motives.
3. Lack of communication and love.
The old couple quarreled for many years, and when they were tired, they were too lazy to communicate. Thinking that many things are not as good as few things, many things become unwilling to communicate, so as not to cause trouble, and gradually learn to shut up, talk less and less, and lack love communication and communication.
Austin once said: "A happy marriage needs not only the exchange of ideas, but also the exchange of feelings. If you keep your feelings in your heart, you will push your wife out of your life. "
4. Other objective reasons: separation between two places or family influence.
Due to work or life reasons, I had to live separately, and my feelings tended to be dull and faded, and even became dispensable later. I'm not around when I need it most, and I'm slowly disappointed and saving more and more, so I have an external heart.
Or the excessive participation and interference of both families, such as improper handling of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, improper handling of the relationship between husband and wife, leading to the breakdown of each other's feelings and the emergence of external feelings.
How to save the "seven-year itch" crisis? ? Facing the seven-year itch, we can work hard from the following aspects.
1. The order of importance of family members should be
Partner → Children → Parents
Often many families put their children first, then their parents, and finally their partners. In fact, such a family atmosphere does not make the family happy.
First of all, the relationship with your partner is handled well, and you have a positive role model in front of your children, so the influence on your children is the most favorable. Secondly, parents will eventually leave, children will eventually grow up and become independent, and the last thing left is that husband and wife support each other until they are old, so we should put the relationship between husband and wife first.
2. Make progress and grow together.
Don't give up on yourself at any time and don't give up on your efforts. Although married life makes you feel stable and calm, you are used to it. Don't give up on yourself. It is ideal to maintain economic independence at any time.
If children have to leave their jobs, they should spare more time to learn to add value to themselves and improve their abilities in all aspects, so as to avoid being eliminated by society when children have the opportunity to work when they grow up or have to return to the workplace because of life changes. Both sides grow up together and live a better life at home towards the same goal.
3. Increase the sense of life ceremony and create some small surprises.
Festivals, anniversaries, family birthdays, etc. Take some time to create some small surprises, which adds some happiness and fun to the dull days and adds love memories to the later days, which is extremely precious.
4. Be strict with yourself, be lenient with others, learn to listen and reduce complaints.
Enlarge your own shortcomings, enlarge each other's advantages and lower your high expectations, so that you will find surprises everywhere. Listen to each other's voices, understand and care about each other, and don't let them pile up too much and have nowhere to talk. Sometimes, no matter how hard life is, there is also a pillow person who can vent his emotions and have a boiling passion the next day.
5. Reduce the desire to reprimand manipulation and encourage praise and less criticism.
No one likes to be reprimanded and manipulated, regardless of men, women and children. As the saying goes, don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you. More affirmation and encouragement will make your partner more motivated to contribute to this family.
6. Keep your initial heart and resist the temptation of the outside world.
Keep the other person's initial heart, so as to achieve your ultimate goal. Always remind yourself how much time and energy it took to build this home. Don't be carried away by temporary excitement. Destroying something is as easy as blowing off dust, but rebuilding it is very difficult. If you don't want to regret for a lifetime because of impulsiveness, then keep your initial heart and give yourself the faith to resist the temptation of the outside world.
7. Give each other space and love yourself.
Marriage is because we love each other and start a family together, but it doesn't mean that we will lose our freedom and be imprisoned. This will make each other feel depressed and miserable, give each other more space, establish their own hobbies, love themselves well, have an independent personality, I am very good with you, and I can live well without you.
? Conclusion: To sum up, the "seven-year itch" has a certain probability, but it depends entirely on whether we treat marriage with care or not. When marriage lights up at a red light, don't just blame each other, but look at yourself. Then through communication, find out the problem and solve it. Because of the nourishment of love, the flower of marriage can bloom and be happy and sweet.
Of course, that property is slag. At first, it was just a wolf in sheep's clothing. How to disguise and slowly reveal the essence of slag is beyond the scope of this discussion. This kind of slag will itch at any time.
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Today's topic: Do you feel the "seven-year itch"? Welcome to tell your story. ...
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