I don't know why people nowadays always find it difficult to learn to love themselves. It seems that we are always used to loving others more, just as parents focus on their children. It's hard for them to live for themselves. If you have a bad life, they will never get better. They are always used to making their family ties sad, but this is not the case. Feelings should make us happy. This is a healthy feeling, not kidnapping all of us with feelings. One can only learn to love.
First, loving yourself is the beginning of a romantic life.
Oscar Wilde, an English poet, once said, "To love yourself is the beginning of a romantic life." I've always liked this sentence, but it's hard to do. I find it more difficult to love myself than others. We are always more accustomed to loving others, but often forget ourselves. In fact, this is a very bad habit. Love yourself more. Because people who love themselves will pay more attention to themselves and make themselves like sunflowers, shining and warming others. So trying to love yourself is to love others.
Second, love life and give it a sense of ritual.
Life needs a sense of ceremony, which is almost a cliche and can be seen everywhere. But what is a sense of ceremony? I found that many people misinterpreted the word "sense of ceremony", thinking that going to a high-end restaurant, taking a photo is a sense of ceremony, and going to the holy places of online celebrities is a sense of ceremony, and so on. Actually, none of these are. Ritual sense is the dribs and drabs of life. It is not made of money, but made with heart. For example, decorate your home, make every corner full of poetry, treat yourself with a meal, learn some simple crafts, make some trinkets to dress up your home and so on. , are all ceremonial. They are also ways to love life.
People who love life always know how to find the beauty of life in various ways.
People who love life will exude positive and beautiful temperament from the inside out.
And happiness means having a heart that loves life.
Third, learn to make peace with yourself.
That is, as mentioned in the title, handle the relationship between yourself and yourself. This is a very tangled problem, a very difficult problem, and also a problem that we often ignore. In fact, the correct way is that we should be friends with ourselves, because we are two people in our own eyes and in the eyes of our friends. We always look at ourselves objectively, so we need to look at our strengths and weaknesses as bystanders, tolerate our weaknesses and appreciate our shortcomings. This is very difficult and what we must do.
Finally, I hope everyone can be happy, look at themselves objectively, appreciate themselves and learn to live in peace with themselves.
I also hope that we can warm bloom in spring without going to the sea, and we can meet and accompany each other without being displaced.
Cute is quiet.
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We always resist rejecting our bad side and only want the good side, but our good and bad are like two sides of the same coin. If you don't accept the bad side, you are attacking yourself and consuming yourself.
So we often feel tired. To love yourself and handle the relationship with yourself is to see and accept the "bad" side. In this way, your inner self can be straightened out and smooth. Only in this way can you love yourself.
We often say that women love themselves. But what is love for yourself?
Be nice to yourself? Take care of yourself? Buy good things to treat yourself? Eat better and dress better ... but is this really love for yourself?
From a psychological point of view, these are not "true love".
Loving ourselves contains three core self-beliefs in our subconscious:
Unconditional self-acceptance, no self-criticism, calm and calm;
High enough sense of self-worth, not self-attacking, confident and independent;
I feel worthwhile from the heart, and I have no fear and anxiety when entering any relationship, and I feel very safe …
2020, love you, love you [love you]
We always say we love ourselves, but how can we love ourselves? See what our counselor says.
To love yourself is to accept yourself, be responsible for your life, understand what you are doing and take responsibility. No matter what happens, don't internal friction, stay optimistic and take your time.
P: To love yourself is to live in the present, not to regret the past, not to worry too much about the future, to cherish the people and things around you, and to feel beautiful things;
To love yourself is to define the boundaries and understand what your responsibilities and rights are. At home, you don't care about anything and are very friendly to your wife. At work, you don't do everything yourself. You know how to reconcile with yourself, you can appreciate and give full play to the strengths and differences of others, and make yourself harmonious but different, beautiful and * * *;
To love yourself is to know how to enjoy solitude, have independent thoughts and space, taste the tranquility of years in precipitation, and give yourself leisure and energy to perceive happiness.
This is how a middle-aged aunt feels. To put it bluntly, it is a word: "lazy"; Two words: "lazy"; In a word: "Learn to steal fun."
F: In my fantasy, I am free to go to work, with unlimited salary, with someone around when I need company, and no one bothering me when I need to be alone. How much I love myself ...
H: The concrete measures for me to love me this year are not to enroll in any new courses, not to accept any courseware that I have no time to read, to start a journey of "learning personality disorder" and to give myself some "idle" space every day. For me, it means learning to leave a blank page for the painting "Life". A good Chinese painting must not be filled with a piece of paper, but should be left blank. The same is true of study and life. "Don't learn" is to give time a better absorption. This adjustment makes me more comfortable and love myself more.
Z: I love myself, that is, the counselor role in my body, not only for visitors, but also for myself, unconditionally loving, appreciating, allowing, accepting, understanding and supporting my world. I must follow my inner feelings in my study, and I will definitely give up if I can't learn. For three years, I have been studying physically and mentally, and I have classes every day. I don't think I am studying, but I feel very happy and nourishing.
W: I think it's just two words, don't force it, accept it. I am a daughter, a wife, a mother, an employee, a relative and a friend ... But in front of all these identities, I am myself first. I want to love and satisfy others, but my own needs should be put in the first place, and I should be frank when I speak. Don't force yourself to meet other people's standards and expectations. Take care of yourself first and make yourself happy.
W: I also feel that I don't love myself enough, mainly because I sometimes feel that I am not good enough. Then you will find that this self-loathing will be projected everywhere, such as finding fault with others. So, now I am trying to accept myself, allowing myself to be not good enough, and then I find that many qualities are actually useless to me.
P: Haha, I think it's good that I can be myself, with less projection, such as not idealizing other people's relationships and not projecting my powerful self on others ... I think it's hard for children and myself to be myself.
M: I go shopping when I have leisure time, buy it at buy buy when I have money, comfort myself when I feel depressed, or ask others to comfort myself. Sometimes you have to quarrel with critical voices, and sometimes you have to convince yourself to let yourself go.
People will divide their own characteristics into "good me" and "bad me". "Good self" is a trait I like, usually a trait that nurturers like in childhood, such as cheerfulness, diligence, honesty, hard work and so on. The "bad me" is a trait that exists in oneself, but the cultivator doesn't like it and even hates it. Such as laziness, selfishness, lying, meanness, cowardice and so on. Also known as shadow personality. A complete person, these qualities will exist.
To love yourself is to accept your shadow personality. If you accept yourself, you will be selfish, lazy and cowardly. Work hard if you want, be lazy if you want, and love yourself if you don't compete with yourself or embarrass yourself.
Compassion for oneself is the greatest compassion. Only in this way can we show sympathy for others. Only by understanding and accepting yourself can we truly understand and accept others, instead of superficial sympathy and moral superiority.
Hello, I'm glad to see this problem and share it with you.
1. Know yourself, which is the prerequisite for your question;
How much do you know about yourself? Do you know every part of your body, your personality, your cognition and so on? If you don't understand, talking about getting along with yourself can only be the most primitive way to get along: because of desire.
Accept yourself
Gold is not enough, no one is perfect. Do you accept who you are? If not, why not? Can you solve this unacceptable problem? We should be consistent with our own advantages and disadvantages and be rational;
Step 3 surpass yourself
Superego is a moral benchmark in our hearts, which is established by our own knowledge and environment. Ta constantly affects our behavior and emotions and meets your expectations.
It's a little messy In short, if you want to love yourself, you must know yourself first and then accept yourself. It is important to be rational, work hard where you like, pay attention to the frequency of people, and you will definitely become what you want.
Balance the relationship between id, ego and superego.