"Look at words and deeds and gain insight into people's hearts." Dr Zhang Yijun, do you know how to read words and deeds? If you finish listening to this question, immediately answer: "Of course! At the same time, I looked away, my eyes drifted from side to side, I changed my sitting posture unnaturally, and I rubbed my nose with my hand. So, how do you think I should interpret your real thoughts? Well, I'm sure you can understand why experts regard "sense of speech and sense of color" as an extremely important eq ability in the workplace. According to the research of communication scholars, when we communicate, 7% of the effect comes from the content of the speech, and 38% depends on the sound (volume, tone, rhythm, etc. ), and 55% depends on body language (facial expression, body posture, etc.). Therefore, when reading minds, what matters is not only what he said, but also how he said it. In addition, we also find that body language is often more credible than oral communication. In other words, it is easy to disguise language symbols, but it is much more difficult to disguise body symbols. This also explains why in the previous example, an EQ expert should pay special attention to the information revealed by the body. So, if you and I can't understand other people's expressions, we can't understand each other's voices. In the process of interpersonal communication in the workplace, this ability to know how to look at faces is even more important. Whether asking the boss for a raise or negotiating the price with the customer, you need keen observation to try to figure out the other person's mind, so that you can know what is going on and accomplish the task smoothly. So, how can we read each other's emotions? Let's start with facial expressions! Do you know that psychologists have found that human beings have at least six primitive facial expressions: joy, sadness, disgust, anger, surprise and fear. Usually before the age of two, we can express these primitive emotions with the same facial expressions (even if a child is blind and dumb, they will still express these emotions). And you and I have learned the skill of "seeing faces" since childhood. At the age of four or five, we can recognize half of facial expressions. By the age of six, the accuracy of looking at faces has reached 75%. Isn't it amazing? ! As for the trick to recognize expressions, it is to analyze several important lines of the face: corners of the mouth (rising or drooping), mouth shape (opening or closing), eyebrows (rising or drooping), corners of the eyes (rising or drooping), eyes (widening or narrowing) and forehead (horizontal lines when eyebrows rise to the forehead and straight lines when eyebrows are tight). We can distinguish these emotions because we know that certain facial areas are particularly important for identifying certain emotions. For example, in terms of sadness and fear, eyebrows and foreheads are particularly important; The emotions of disgust and joy are most meaningful to express with the mouth. Interestingly, since we have been learning "reading facial expressions" since we were very young, and we have more and more skills in this field in adulthood (from my experience in doing exercises in 300 to 400 companies, the correct rate of reading facial expressions is surprisingly high), why is it still a headache for many people in the workplace? The reasons include: ● You are not attentive enough: when you are too busy talking and forget to pay attention, of course you turn a blind eye to other people's expressions. ● The other party is very good at counseling: the old bird in the workplace is first-class in counseling emotions, and emotions are intangible. Of course, it is not easy to understand. There is too much information around us: perhaps the most important thing is that besides facial expressions, we also receive clues about other body movements and the surrounding environment from head to toe. To tell the truth, our work in the workplace is usually not a sequential detailed scan, but a set of projects formed at a glance. There are so many body clues from beginning to end that it is not easy to analyze them in an instant, so there is a body posture study that studies body language. When Julius Fast wrote Body Language in 1970, people began to say, "When the other person's arms are crossed, it means that he is against it; The blunt way of not looking directly at each other is deceptive, which leads everyone to start to have wrong ideas, hoping to crack each other's minds with a few tricks. In fact, the author fast has always stressed that please stop dreaming, recognizing body language is not that simple! To correctly interpret body language, we need to understand several principles: (1) Body language usually reflects a physiological state (such as back pain) or a temporary mental state (such as depression), rather than more normal personality characteristics. Therefore, judging a person's personality by body language is actually very risky (is he curled up today because of a stomachache or is he not confident? (2) Different emotions may often be vented through similar behaviors. For example, poor eye contact may represent dishonesty, boredom, nervousness, anger or arrogance, so don't memorize the meaning of each individual action, but look at the overall suit behavior to judge. (3) Consistency is the key to understanding body language. When the FBI trains investigators, it emphasizes not only "what he did" but also "what he changed". If the other person has been depressed with his head down and suddenly raised his head excitedly because of a certain problem, then this change is worth reading. (4) Only by knowing the features you are looking for can you determine the direction of interpreting information. After determining whether to look at the characteristics of "honesty" or "pressure resistance", it is definitely more effective to collect clues. Ok, after talking about the interpretation of body language, let's take a test to check your reading and reading ability. Are you ready? "Emotional Link": Since body language should be interpreted in a complete set, please look at the following descriptions of body movements and match the following emotions. () 1 red face, tight lips, arms or legs crossed *, fast speech, stiff posture, clenched fist () 2, tight lips, frowning, squinting at people, crooked mouth, shaking head, rolling eyes () 3, arms or legs crossed *, avoiding eyes, breathing faster, and facing each other. Keep silent () 4 eyes wandering, tilting left and right *, doodling, sideways avoiding someone's eyes, yawning, playing with pen and paper () 5 eyes wandering, stiff posture, constantly playing with or adjusting pen and paper glasses, sweating, suddenly laughing, shaking your legs or body. Correct answer: 1 Anger 2 doubt 3 hostility (defensive) 4 boredom 5 nervousness As long as you pay more attention, you will certainly understand the truth of reading and speaking, decode the confusion of interpersonal communication and create a real win-win relationship. Small mouth and crooked mouth are not popular enough. If such a person is a supervisor or boss, he will definitely change the affairs of his subordinates to show his wisdom. Moreover, if the supervisor or boss has a crooked mouth and likes to study from east to west, even the bitch next door will study for a long time and never get married; Most of these executives have obstacles in their hearts. Please be a subordinate of others, and would rather buy cotton earplugs than talk to him seriously. Life will be much better! High cheekbones and low chin. Ren Woxing's cheekbones are too high and conspicuous. In addition, supervisors with small and fleshless jaws like to do things that abuse their power. You have to have cheekbones on your face to have the energy for leaders to give orders, but if your cheekbones are too high and explicit, you will become slaves of power and give orders at will. Moreover, chin depends on the relationship between oneself and subordinates; If a person's chin is small and has no meat, it means that he doesn't care about the feelings of his subordinates, and his relationship with them is as full of opposition and crisis as a sharp weapon. People with small noses, people with small noses, once they have the opportunity to become bosses or supervisors, will not admit that they are depressed in appearance and will try their best to leave a decisive and lively impression. Unfortunately, impressions come from impressions, just as many office workers were initially fooled by such supervisors. After a long time, they will inevitably find that he is more and more hesitant to do things, and many things will be lost in the end. The watery eyes make people look dead. The boss who has this kind of eyes is the so-called emotional supervisor, that is, the supervisor who makes decisions without thinking, only uses emotions and feelings, always asks people to change things after making decisions, and finally changes his original appearance. This kind of supervisor's eyes are dark and deep, and his eyes are often weak and even watery; People with this kind of supervisor should never blame themselves too much, otherwise they will be "crazy". People with high eyebrows have high and low eyebrows, and there must be some conflicts and contradictions in their hearts. Therefore, they often go over and over again for an idea or decision; If the eyebrows are thick and black and the hair is vertical, the inner contradiction will be more serious. If your supervisor's eyebrows are raised like cockroach tentacles, you can forgive him! Because if they are not careful, they will punch themselves in the mouth, and you can't cry or laugh at him. The only way is to look at other people's eyebrows the next time you look for a company.
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