When a husband has an extramarital affair, as a wife, we should first find the problem from the marriage, not through quarreling, monitoring, or letting relatives and friends judge. Because things have happened, if we can't find out the reason objectively, it won't be any constructive help to this marriage if we only investigate who is right and who is wrong. Unless you have decided to divorce your husband and let him leave you completely. If you still want to give each other a chance to start a new marriage life with your husband, then you should look for the reasons from the past marriage, including the unhappiness of the previous mode of getting along, is it a disagreement or a big gap between each other's life circles? Is it the living environment or the misunderstanding between the two sides?
Only when the problem is found can the mistress be separated. Words, images and ideas are all a series. What you have to do is not to separate the mistress now, so that the illegitimate daughter will be belittled in your husband's heart. You should completely change your husband's fickle habits. Your question is very complicated, which can't be explained clearly in a few words. It needs systematic study and improvement. I suggest you consult an expert. There are many free emotional counseling institutions on the Internet. I have used Shenzhen to see the feeling. You can try it.