Psychological counseling mainly depends on whether counselors and visitors can establish a relationship of mutual trust and cooperation. The establishment of this relationship will help the visitor to participate in the consultation process, be willing to speak his psychological words, even his privacy, and believe that he can change his will and resolutely cooperate. Therefore, it is very important to establish and maintain a good relationship in the consultation process. For school psychologists or class teachers, in order to establish a good helping relationship, let visiting students freely express their feelings and correct distorted, defensive or exclusive feelings, they should pay attention to the confidentiality of consulting information and treat visiting students with gentleness, respect and sincerity.
First, do a good job of information confidentiality of visiting students.
Before the meeting, the school psychological counseling teacher needs to make clear the confidential matters of visiting students, explain the necessary records in the consultation process, make a positive commitment to the confidentiality and respect of content and privacy, eliminate students' vigilance and gain a sense of security, so as to ensure their self-exploration. Because the interpersonal relationship in consultation is not based on the standpoint of social communication, but on a specific environment and time, it is hidden and confidential. However, the intimacy and depth of this relationship exceed the general social friendship relationship, because this relationship is carefully established without any threat, so it is extremely important to create a safe and trusting atmosphere for students and make them feel safe.
For example, generally without the permission of the students or the law does not allow, not revealing will expose the secrets of the students; When conducting case discussion, teaching quotation, scientific research writing and activity exchange due to professional needs, students' names, addresses, telephone numbers and other personalized information that can identify specific individuals must be hidden, and so on.
Second, be warm, friendly and gentle to visiting students.
School psychological counseling teachers can make use of the existing audio-visual equipment in the school, such as radio, television, blackboard newspaper, etc., to carry out extensive publicity, and then carry out psychological lectures and other forms of activities. Let the students know that some psychological problems of middle school students are normal, and those without any psychological problems are abnormal. Let students voluntarily receive psychological counseling when they have psychological problems.
During the conversation, visitors often feel nervous and embarrassed, so the attitude of psychological counseling teachers will have a great impact on their psychology. A warm and friendly attitude gives people a sense of intimacy and can effectively narrow the distance between the two sides.
We should show great enthusiasm for the inner problems that visitors talk about, whether they are standard problems or new problems. We should take pains and patiently listen to the statements of problems and treat them as novel and unique problems. When students have questions, talk to them with a gentle attitude and analyze the specific problems. Everything is attributable. It is not enough to talk with students about reason, nor can it solve practical problems. Find out the reason and prescribe the right medicine.
Third, respect visiting students.
People are eager to be respected by others in their hearts, but only by respecting others can they win their respect. Respecting others is a noble virtue and an external expression of one's inner cultivation. Respecting others is a good expression of one's ideological accomplishment, a civilized social way, and the cornerstone of smooth work and good social relations.
It is very important to respect the students who come to consult, which is very important to establish a good helping relationship. It is great courage for students to come to consult, which also shows that they have realized their "shortcomings" and want to reform. Therefore, as a psychological counseling teacher, we should express or pass it on to visiting students through language, and give respect and emotional acceptance to the counseling students. Accepting him is beneficial to his own expression and can enhance his confidence in correcting "shortcomings" No matter what attitude and feelings students have, whether they are positive or negative, they can be accepted as consulting teachers. They should listen to students' opinions calmly, calmly and gently, and give them encouragement in time, such as "Oh", "Well", "So that's it" and "Is it so?" Equal word.
Fourth, sincerely accept visiting students.
Treat each other sincerely and honestly, so as to move others from the bottom of my heart and finally gain the trust of each other. Sincere eyes are clear, voice is sweet, attitude is gentle, behavior is calm and elegant. Therefore, sincerity and permanence are the foundation of doing things and the key to being a man.
In the process of psychological counseling, psychological counseling teachers should not hide themselves, wear masks, play fake roles, or complete routine tasks, but devote themselves to the relationship with help seekers with a sincere and credible attitude. Sincerity sets a very good example for visiting students, which can make them trust you sincerely, make students feel that you are helping him, and make them believe that the teacher can help him solve some problems. And tell the visiting students what help and services the teacher can provide. Let him (her) express his/her thoughts and opinions.
5. Maintain "empathy" with visiting students.
Psychological counseling teachers put themselves in the client's position and situation, trying to feel his joys and sorrows, understand the pressure he faces, understand his situation, enter his emotional and ideological fields, see the world with eyes, experience the world with feelings and think about the world with thoughts. When teachers put themselves in their own subjective position, their understanding of empathy will often appear naturally. But counselors should pay attention to distinguish between empathy and sympathy. Because when a person is in distress and pain, what he needs is empathy, not sympathy and pity. At this time, it is easy to have some misunderstandings, thinking that the client is eager for the sympathy of the counselor, but it is not, because when the client seeks help from others, his self-image will usually be low during that time, and he will often be overly sensitive and afraid that others will despise him. If we are psychological counselors, we have a sympathetic attitude towards visitors, which will not be conducive to the counseling relationship.