Case background
Xiaolian, female, 15 years old, usually looks quiet and obedient. However, it has recently been found that Xiaolian's classmates are often depressed and prone to illness.
Last Friday morning, when I went to class, I found that her position was empty. I hurriedly asked my classmates if they knew where she had gone, and no one could answer me. The safety of students is a major event. I asked other students to look in offices, toilets and other places, and the results were all negative. I dare not slack off, let the students report to the academic affairs office first, and then go to the dormitory to see if anyone is there.
Later, Director Bai of the Academic Affairs Office contacted the life teacher and reported that Xiaolian was indeed in the dormitory. I breathed a sigh of relief and wondered: how did this girl go to the dormitory without saying a word?
That day, I heard from my classmates that Xiaolian also ran privately. After everyone had a rest last Wednesday night, she ran out by herself and didn't go back to sleep until after twelve o'clock. (Later, I learned that she had to stay in the lobby because the door on the first floor was locked. )
When I checked the bed on Sunday night, I found that Xiaolian in the dormitory had taken a day off. I asked her when she would go back to school, and she told me 9: 30. This is the parents' fault. You gave your child a day off, and now you sent him to school without saying hello. What if she ran away when other students were not sleeping?
So, I dialed the telephone of Xiaolian's parents. Besides going back to school tonight, I also talked about what happened the other day. For the safety of children, I have to let parents know the current situation of children. We talked for a long time. Parents said that at home, they often told her not to have too much pressure, and it doesn't matter if the grades are good or bad. However, talking, the parents said that on Sunday, the mother of the child yelled at the child at home. Finally, my parents asked me to talk to my children when I was free.
165438+1October 29th, after school on Monday afternoon, when I came back from class, a girl took my hand and said, "Teacher, I finally waited for you. I'll tell you a secret: I found a scratch on Xiaolian's arm. "
Oh, my God, how is the child now? How did this happen? So, I decided to talk to Xiaolian as soon as possible.
case presentation
On Monday night, when I sent the girl to the dormitory door, I specifically told Xiaolian to wash as soon as possible after she went up. I want to talk to her later. She said yes.
In order to relieve the psychological pressure of Xiaolian and take care of the girls' privacy, I called Xiaolian to the empty dormitory next to the girls' dormitory. I took Xiaolian's hand kindly and asked her if she had anything on her mind, because she was under too much pressure, contradicting her classmates or something else.
Xiaolian told me that it was because of academic performance problems.
"What's the matter, did a teacher criticize you?"
"No."
"Are your classmates laughing at you?"
"No."
"What's that? Didn't your parents also tell you that they don't care about your grades? "
"No, teacher. They said so on the surface, but later it was different. My mother told me at the weekend that she didn't care. In the second half of the sentence, she began to say that her friend's children are working harder and harder, and I am far less diligent than others. " At some point, Xiaolian's tears have come out.
This is the crux of the original problem! I couldn't help hugging the baby.
"I know, she compared you with others. In fact, you don't have to worry about this, you just have to compare with yourself. As long as you work hard, you won't regret it later. Pay attention to the process of growth. "
I asked her if there were any friends in the class, and she said "yes" and told me her name. I encourage her to communicate with these classmates more, not to bear it alone, so it is easy to get sick if she keeps it in her heart.
"Where did you go after sleeping last night?"
"I just went downstairs to play in the lobby."
Actually, I didn't go downstairs to play in the lobby. At that time, the door on the first floor of the dormitory was locked, and she could only wander there.
"If the bedroom door is unlocked, do you want to stay there?"
She nodded.
Taking this opportunity, I extended her hand a little longer and said, "What happened to your hand? Today, I accidentally saw a small scar and dared not say anything, so I came to ask you today. Where did you get the knife? "
"That's not a knife."
"What's that?"
"China."
"Where did the tiles come from?"
"A small piece of China fell in the bedroom, so I scratched it."
"Is this also related to the criticism of parents?"
"Yes, it makes me sad to think that they don't understand me."
"Silly boy, no matter what, you shouldn't hurt your body. Look, don't your parents know that you are suffering here? You just have to work hard and have a clear conscience. Don't do anything stupid in the future. Say whatever you have, whether with teachers or classmates. Just like now, you can treat the teacher as a friend. "
The child nodded again. She went on to tell me what happened at home at the weekend, saying that she had not got along well with her mother since she was a child. Her mother has always been unwilling to listen to her and always thinks that she doesn't work hard and has too many things to do.
I couldn't help asking, "What about your father? You can tell your father. "
"My dad is ok at ordinary times, but he stood with my mother at the critical moment." Poor kid! I promised her that I would communicate with her parents again and ask them to listen to her as much as possible and encourage her more.
When she gradually calmed down, I told her to dry her tears, then went to the bathroom to wash her face and went to the dormitory to sleep quietly. Then, I need to communicate with my parents again.
I told my parents in the form of interviewing them that adults are busy with work all day, and it is not easy for children, especially for children in private schools. They are at school all day and have only one day off on weekends. Home is the warmest harbor. If parents don't relax and comfort, the children will be even more pitiful. I hope parents will listen to their children more, encourage them more, and stand with them to overcome problems, instead of overcoming them with problems.
Parents listened to my words and nodded again and again, realizing that because of their teacher status, they may be asking too much of their children. In the future, they should try their best to listen and understand their children. Later, there was a sentence in the message my parents sent me: "Teacher Li, the problem of children is the problem of parents. Can't be intimate with children, and often can't think from the perspective of children. "
My thoughts
Every child is an angel sent by God. When any of them has problems, they should be found in time and dealt with rationally as soon as possible. Let students feel the teacher's concern, which is the first condition for them to open their hearts to the teacher.
A child's external performance, especially an introverted child, can more or less expose the problems existing in family education. To solve this problem, you must untie the bell and the person who tied it. Teachers should communicate well with parents. Only when parents really realize their own problems can students make a breakthrough in their problems.