As this thin voice often rings, you are more and more hesitant. Women will lose their charm if they want to succeed in their careers, but if they don't have their own careers, they will be accused by men of not being independent enough and relying too much. Neither the left nor the right. What should we do?
10 1 mistakes in the eyes of American professional trainers (these 10 1 hope to be scattered, don't put them on a separate page, the font size can be reduced, here are books, bring them here for scanning on Monday)
China Social Sciences Publishing House recently published a new book, Beautiful Girls Don't Stand in the Corner-1kloc-0/Unconscious Mistakes Never Made in the Office. The author of this book is Dr. Lois P. frankl, president of American Enterprise Training International Company, and a female professional psychologist. She put forward 10 1 mistakes that women are prone to make in the workplace. Take a look, will you make these 10 1 mistakes?
1. applies to the workplace, not the stadium.
2. Obey the rules and don't cross the line.
Work hard
4. Take on other people's work
5. All work and no rest
6. Too naive
7. Be careful for the company
8. Waiting for the rabbit
9. Avoid "office politics"
10. Justice
1 1. Protect fools
12. Silence
13. Don't invest in feelings
14. I don't know the customer's needs.
15. Ask for opinions one by one before making a decision.
16. lovely
17. Stop sucking up.
18. Afraid to ask questions is to hide others.
19. Pretend to be a man
20. Tell the truth and don't cheat.
2 1. Expose too much personal information
22. Too worried about offending others.
23. Deny the importance of money
24. coquetry
25. Willing to be bullied
26. Make the office look like a living room.
27. Feed others
28. A weak handshake
29. Lack of economic security
30. Serve others
3 1. Work miracles
32. Take full responsibility
33. Obey the rules
34. Treat those in power as elders.
35. limit your potential
36. Ignore reciprocating.
37. Avoid parties
38. Work first, life second.
39. Allow others to occupy your time.
40. Give up your career goals prematurely.
4 1. Ignore the importance of interpersonal networks
42. Deprivation of privileges
43. Find the negative reasons
44. strive for perfection
45. Failure to define personal brand
46. Despise your job or position.
47. Use only nicknames or first names
48. Waiting for grace
49. Refuse an important task.
50. Stay modest
5 1. Stay in your own safety zone
52. Reveal your views.
53. The traditional position of women (? )
54. Ignore feedback
55. Willing to be inconspicuous.
56. Express your opinions by asking questions.
57. Use opening remarks
explain
59. Ask permission from others
60. apologize
6 1. Excessive use of modesty
62. Use modifiers
63. Answer irrelevant questions
64. Speak too fast
65. Terminology cannot be used
66. Use non-verbal language.
67. Use of uncertainty
68. "Sandwich" technology
"Sandwich" mode means that when you give feedback, the negative feedback is sandwiched between two positive feedback, which will only make the listener lose the focus of your information.
69. Soft tone
When we speak in a low voice, the information we convey appears uncertain or lacking in confidence.
70. High tones are unnatural
We will pay more attention to and respect lower voices.
7 1. Delay and extension of voice mail
72. Answer questions without thinking.
A short pause and subsequent silence will give the impression that you are confident.
73. Laugh untimely
74. The occupied space is too small.
Occupy space is also a way to show our confidence and qualifications.
75. Gestures are inconsistent with the information conveyed.
76. hyperactivity or dullness
Professional women are best in between.
77. tilt your head
78. Improper makeup
It's not good to wear no makeup, and it's not good to wear too much or too light.
79. inappropriate hairstyle
Hair length should be inversely proportional to age.
80. inappropriate clothes
Dress for the job you want, not the job you've got.
8 1. Sit on your lap (? )
82. Dress up in public
83. Put your hands under the table during the meeting.
84. Hang your glasses around your neck.
85. Wear too many accessories
86. Avoid the sight of others
87. Information internalization
The information we receive when we are young will affect our children's life.
88. Trust others to know more than you do.
89. Take notes, serve coffee and copy materials.
90. conniving at misconduct
Show too much patience.
92. Accept tasks with no future.
93. Meet the needs of others first.
94. Deny your ability
95. Be a scapegoat
96. Accept the fait accompli
97. Let other people's mistakes affect you.
98. Conclusion
99. Play the gender card
Find out what the problem is first, and don't think it's sexism without thinking.
100. Tolerance of sexual harassment
10 1. Cry
The fatal mistake that the office can't make in OL's eyes
Are these mistakes fatal in the eyes of OL of different foreign companies? The following brackets marked with green indicate that they are in compliance with 10 1 error, and those marked with red indicate that they are not in compliance. If red and green don't look good, please design two colors here. )
Interview/Hongyan Juanzi
OL: Honesty is the most important thing.
Narrator: Wang Han, 27, is the media manager of a French cosmetics company in Guangzhou.
Perhaps because the company is a cosmetics company, the company's most intolerable mistake is its dullness and lack of enthusiasm for fashion. The talents that the company appreciates most are courageous, imaginative, creative and practical, which is what we often call the poet+farmer standard. But this sense of fashion doesn't mean that you can be independent and don't follow the rules of the company. In the dress of female employees, the company does not advocate dressing too weird, but it should have a sense of fashion (mistake 78: improper makeup. Mistake 79: improper hairstyle, mistake 80: improper clothes).
The company has a long history and a strong sense of morality, and the dishonesty of employees is absolutely intolerable. The company once recruited a girl with strong working ability and good performance, but later it was found that one of her achievements in the application materials was fictitious. The company thought that this dishonesty might mean that there was something wrong with her personality, and later fired her.
In addition, Europeans can't tolerate overtime (mistake 5: all work and no rest), so if you volunteer to work overtime in the company, you may not be particularly favored by the boss, but if you have some novel ideas and opinions, the boss may regard you with special respect. Our boss is very interesting. He doesn't like reading boring reports. He likes you to make them beautiful and artistic. You can choose beautiful colors and add more graphics and photos, which will make him like it more.
OL: Team spirit is very important.
Interviewer: Zhao Meilin 3 1 year-old Shanghai, HR Commissioner of a Japanese-funded enterprise.
The management culture of Japanese enterprises is famous, and the most important point is team spirit. A particularly intolerable mistake in the company is not cooperating with colleagues for personal reasons. In addition, Japan's management is very meticulous and regular, so an intolerable mistake is to destroy this stipulated thing without authorization. For example, this matter needs to go through so many procedures, and if it goes beyond your immediate boss, it will be considered unforgivable (mistake 2: follow the rules and don't cross the line).
Japanese corporate culture has a strong religious color. For example, Panasonic advocates "industry serving the country", and TDK also says: "Creation: making contributions to the world cultural industry." Therefore, special emphasis is placed on professionalism. The requirements in this respect are the same for men and women, emphasizing complete loyalty to the company, and the company should do its best when necessary. So I often have to help my colleagues do trivial things, such as copying materials (mistake 89: taking notes, serving coffee, copying materials). In addition, you'd better not refuse a colleague's after-work party (mistake 37: avoid the party).
American companies (foreign companies? ) OL: still pay attention to the section
Narrator: Zhang Ying, 35, is the manager of the Beijing office of an American company.
I like working for Americans very much, because most of them are humble and polite, and they have some humor, so the working atmosphere is very pleasant. Americans like to say compliments, which makes people feel very comfortable. However, praising others is just a courtesy of Americans, so you should do as the Romans do and praise each other more.
Americans are very concerned about their privacy, so they seldom disclose too much personal information (error 2 1: disclose too much personal information). If personal affairs affect their work, they don't have to tell the details truthfully. Americans like to know the truth, but they are more concerned about the results or how to achieve the results they want.
Most Americans appreciate humility and politeness, but this does not mean denying their abilities. If you overuse modesty or remain modest, the importance of your recognition will be reduced (mistake 50: remain modest). I remember once my boss praised me for speaking English very well, but I said no, which was not enough. My boss solemnly told me that if you said this during the assessment, it would affect your salary adjustment. American bosses like confident people. For example, the strength of shaking hands and eye contact are very important in conversation, which is a sign of one's confidence (mistake 86: avoid others' sight).
However, they don't think this is a wrong way to apologize and explain, and they don't care much about you sharing snacks or makeup with colleagues in the office (mistake 27: feeding others). Americans believe that miracles are created, so as long as you are clear about your personal brand, do not deny your ability, and give full play to your imagination and creativity, you are a good employee of American companies.
OL: Working for Hong Kong people needs more rationality.
Narrator: Kang Yonglin, 30, from Beijing, is the administrative manager of a company in Hong Kong.
Hong Kong bosses are sometimes smart and close to stingy. They think that careful planning and doing more with less money are the real skills of employees (mistake 7: careful planning for the company). When my boss is promoting the new product, he doesn't agree with the idea of spending money on hard advertising put forward by the promotion manager. He said that if you use this scheme, the front desk secretary will do, and I don't need to hire you as a promotion manager with a high salary, which makes the other party very embarrassed.
Although Hong Kong bosses like everyone to be a generalist, they will raise objections if one person takes on too many other people's jobs. Once I helped the staff canteen to improve the food, and the boss said that if you want to be a chef, you can jump ship tomorrow. Actually, it's just that I wasn't at my desk when he called me. Therefore, we should pay attention to the consciousness and scale of undertaking other people's work (mistake 4: undertaking other people's work). The so-called lack of diligence, laziness and short-sightedness is especially applicable to Hong Kong companies.
The boss in Hong Kong is very tactful and seems to understand the psychology of employees. So, when you make a mistake, please don't rush to pass the buck or speak ill of many others. "Whoever says right and wrong is right and wrong", Hong Kong bosses regard it as the truth. They certainly don't want other people's mistakes to affect you.
Compared with European and American companies, Hong Kong's corporate culture mostly follows the rules. For example, the clothes and words of employees should not be too out of line. Too fashionable and too conservative will affect your image in the boss's mind more or less. The general principle is clean and tidy, and it is enough to be slower than the fashion.
China state-owned enterprises OL: Don't be content to be inconspicuous.
Narrator: Wangxinmei, 28, director of the office.
I worked in a state-owned enterprise for five years after graduation. My biggest experience in working in state-owned enterprises is: don't be unwilling to be humble, and don't give up any excellent opportunity to sell yourself. The reason why I was able to attract the attention of the former office director was that I left behind in the mountaineering activities organized by the workshop, and I was fined for performing a Xinjiang song and dance, which left a deep impression on the office director. Later, I also appeared frequently in speech contests, and finally revealed that I was an assistant appointed by the office director. When he was transferred to deputy director six months ago, he nominated me to take his place.
Although the current state-owned enterprise mechanism is very different from the original one, and the quality of personnel has also improved, it is relatively traditional. Here, we must not ignore the importance of interpersonal network, so we might as well treat those in power as elders (mistake 34: treat those in power as elders). Although this is not conducive to establishing an independent and objective relationship with them, it can bring us closer to each other's feelings, which is still very useful for survival in state-owned enterprises. Therefore, we must attach importance to the authority of the boss, and there is nothing wrong with obeying the rules.
The employment mechanism of state-owned enterprises advocates younger leading cadres, so you can't pretend to be too naive in front of the boss (mistake 6: too naive), which will invisibly set off the boss's old age and of course expose your immaturity. Again, don't be content with being humble, so don't be silent after the public meeting. Only by speaking actively to clarify your point of view can you win applause. Don't be the last to speak, and don't repeat your views with others, which will make you look nothing new.
State-owned enterprises advocate professionalism. All work and no rest will not make your boss doubt your efficiency. On the contrary, they will think that you are a good employee who loves the factory and feels at home and is worth cultivating (mistake 5: all work and no rest).
China private enterprise OL: The boss is the sky.
Narrator: Wu Feifei, 26, an employee of a private enterprise in Chongqing.
The boss of the private enterprise is in control, and all the people and property are in his hands. Therefore, in private enterprises, the most intolerable mistake is to violate the dignity of the boss. If you dare to say no to the boss's management style, wait, you will leave soon. In private enterprises, the degree of hard work may be the only criterion for the boss to judge whether you are an ideal employee, so you must never be lazy (mistake 2: obey the rules and don't cross the line; Mistake 3: Try hard).
Women's comments: As can be seen from the above interview, many mistakes vary from person to person, and some fatal mistakes may not be important in one company but in another, so it is very important to understand your company's corporate culture and integrate into it. What is considered wrong in some cases may be wise in others.
In fact, in the workplace, we may make more mistakes than 10 1, maybe 120, maybe 150. However, the number of mistakes may not necessarily determine your success. The key is whether you realize the key to the problem, be truly confident and put it into action. In any case, the discussion about workplace mistakes makes us look at our behavior in the workplace from another angle. We learn to reflect from it. What we thought was right before is not necessarily reasonable, and what we thought was wrong is not necessarily impossible to try. What is right and what is wrong requires you to make a clear judgment for yourself.
Communication in the workplace is very important.
Zhang Deming, Editor-in-Chief of Jinghua Literature
There are many things that we often encounter and don't make mistakes in the office. Although some behaviors may not be close to us because of the differences between eastern and western cultures, most of them are very consistent and practical.
For example, don't be modest, but the traditional culture in China thinks it's better to keep a low profile, and publicity is not good. Because everyone's personality, experience and cultural background are different, dealing with problems will be completely opposite. In my opinion, we should grasp a degree in everything. Being too modest is not good, which will make others fail to see your advantages and make you stand in the corner forever, thus limiting your development. Too much publicity is not good. One person's publicity will affect the coordination of the whole team.
In addition, many people think that hard work is enough, which is not enough. Related to this, it is not good to work without rest, not to communicate with others, and not to invest in interpersonal relationships.
Many people think that as long as they work hard, they don't care much about communication and interpersonal communication. Actually, this is very bad. Communication and interpersonal communication are very important in a person's career, and this kind of communication should be not only horizontal, but also up and down, that is, communication with leaders.
In the traditional culture of China, it is considered that it is not a good behavior to communicate with leaders frequently, and it belongs to the type of flattery. In fact, this is a big misunderstanding. This misunderstanding is that you overestimate the ability of leaders to know people and be good at their duties. Maybe you will think that as long as you work hard, the leader will definitely see it, and then you will be praised or promoted, and so on. This is a wrong idea, because leaders are human beings, and it is impossible to know everything under various restrictions. Therefore, if you just work hard and don't communicate with him, the leader may not see your efforts. For you, you only base your own development on others' understanding of you, which is very passive and harmful to your work and your own development. For the leader, you let him see and guess everything by himself, which not only puts pressure on him, but also affects the efficiency of many jobs. So in my opinion, communication at work is very important.
The power of detail
Jiao Xiaoju (translator of "Beautiful Girls Don't Stand in the Corner-1kloc-0/Unconscious Mistakes Never Made in the Office")
There are some small things in life that may not make our life path change dramatically, but many similar things together are enough to leave a mark on our hearts and unconsciously affect our behavior. A woman seems to be a stunner carved with countless details-a stunner that conforms to the norms of social behavior dominated by men, and a heterogeneous one that makes men look pleasing to the eye. In the book Pretty Girls Don't Stand in the Corner-101Unconscious Errors Never Made in the Office, the process that women are forced to accept the social assimilation of male power is called "socialization". We used to accept behavior patterns that could bring us sweetness, just like conditioned mice. Abandon the behavior patterns that will bring us pain.
When I received the manuscript of this book, I thought I just accepted an ordinary task. I didn't expect to analyze myself involuntarily in the process of translation. I gradually found that although there is nothing wrong with the way I accepted it when I was a child, there are many details that need to be improved, and these details just come from some small things in life-maybe a word, an action, a look and an expression. ...
On weekdays, we usually don't think of these little things, but after I translated this book by Dr. Lois P. frankl, the little things buried in the corner of memory gradually came to my mind-I thought I had forgotten them long ago, and I forgot the stinging feeling they left in my heart. This book is like a woodpecker. It taps our spiritual trunk with its sharp beak, listens to the echoes coming from the trees, identifies subtle differences, and then digs out moths that eat away at our confidence and strength.
When I saw "I would rather keep my mouth shut and play dumb than open my mouth to admit that I am stupid" (mistake 38: "I dare not ask questions to avoid others"), I remembered the irony of asking others "stupid questions" many times. In fact, the other party can't answer this question at all. I was just mocking me for covering up my stupidity. In fact, I thought it was my own stupidity, so I dared not ask questions easily from now on.
When I read the woman who limited her potential and lost several promotion opportunities (mistake 65: "limited her potential"), I remembered the sentence that my mother used to scold me when I was a child: "How can a girl do these things!" She refers to "male jobs", such as changing light bulbs and repairing door locks. Adults stop us from doing what they think is "not suitable for girls", even though we are fully capable of doing it well-God knows how many times this has happened! Therefore, when we are in college, we should choose a major that is "suitable for girls" and find a "traditional female orientation" after graduation (error 9 1). The result is that you can only play around in those boring jobs with low wages and never do it. What will life be like if we choose our career path according to our nature? For example, now, I want to be a plumber and fix piles of faucets, toilets and sewers at home.
As the saying goes, a good memory is not as good as bad writing. In the process of translating lines of English into Chinese, along with countless thoughts caused by those lines of words, many ideas in the book also infiltrated into my mind unconsciously. I began to change my previous behavior consciously or unconsciously from the details, and began to look at things that I used to take for granted with different eyes.
A few months after I finished translating this book, I went on a business trip by car. The bus is crowded. A slim and elegant girl got on the bus with a big bag, and the driver asked the girl to put her luggage beside her. More and more people came later, and the driver impatiently told everyone to walk in the middle, but the girl didn't move. The driver urged her to step back with a bad attitude. Maybe there is something important in her luggage, or something else. The girl didn't move, but shouted back at the driver's reprimand. She looks fragile, but her voice is very loud. She gave various reasons for not moving so that the whole car could hear clearly. If it were me before, I would definitely find this noisy girl annoying, but this time I think she is protecting her interests from infringement. Finally, her self-confidence and loud voice really worked, and the driver with a rude attitude even apologized to her again and again for mercy!
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