In most cases, this is just a kind of deception, taking advantage of people's kindness and sympathy.
Reality will teach a person that compassion and love are sometimes played in the palm of your hand, so we begin to doubt, kindness becomes cautious, and love becomes timid.
However, this does not affect our initial heart, our ability to be kind and love others.
Only in this process, we need to cultivate the ability to recognize and make our kindness and liking more valuable.
0 1: Gratitude is the foundation of kindness.
In the TV series "Parents' Love", the old girl Jiang Dehua likes the widower Mrding, and often goes to wash clothes, cook and take care of children.
Although Mrding knows Dehua's mind, he is bent on finding a literate and talking wife. Dehua, who didn't go to school in the countryside, can't get into his eyes.
Mrding fell in love with someone else and was going to get married. The woman didn't want Dehua to run home every day, so she encouraged Mrding to change the lock.
When Dehua went home to help again, he found that he couldn't open the door.
When she found that Mrding had changed the lock, she ran home and cried with her sister-in-law.
Sister-in-law called Mrding home for Dehua, scolded Tongjiang Dehua for their youth and hard work, and pointed at him:
How can you stand it? Where is your conscience? ?
What if you really like it? What if you are willing to pay?
When we put our posture very low, everything we do can only make people feel cheap.
Mrding is not a bad man, but his kindness to Dehua is correct.
In his mind, such a woman who only knows how to work hard all day will not do anything bad.
Such a person, you give him 100%, but this has become his habit. We can treat others sincerely, without expecting anything in return, but it depends on whether the other person knows how to be grateful.
Ignoring each other will make us slowly return to dust.
We all want to be recognized and accepted. Therefore, when expressing goodwill, judge whether the other party knows how to appreciate your goodwill.
Only grateful people can make our kindness and love meaningful.
02: Mutual respect is the foundation of a long-term relationship.
My uncle and aunt are a pair of suckers who have quarreled for decades. To outsiders, their marriage is appropriate. Both of them are rural families. My uncle was in the army for many years, and my aunt went to school in the sixties and seventies until she graduated from high school.
However, my uncle really despises my aunt.
First, because menstruation has never worked in her life, in my uncle's view, she is a freeloader.
My uncle often says:
I bought a needle at home! ?
Second, because menstruation was introduced to get married, and his hometown is a mountainous area.
My uncle scolded her and hit her? Women in the mountains? This is a great insult in the eyes of the aunt who has studied.
Although my aunt took good care of the three children and kept the house in good order, my uncle said that this was what a housewife should do.
These contradictions have led the couple to abuse each other for a long time and even fight.
Last year, a fierce quarrel broke out again, and the two decided to separate. The children are well aware that they have turned their lives into mud and unanimously agree that the old man should divorce.
There is no respect in marriage, only daily life, and feelings are difficult to talk about, and even more difficult to last.
The other person won't care how much you do, listen to what you are thinking, or care about your emotions.
Everything you do is worthless in his eyes.
Mutual respect is the foundation of a long-term relationship between husband and wife.
Everything you do is a shining diamond in the other person's eyes and a mark engraved on the other person's heart.
Over time, there are two people's deep feelings.
Only those who know how to respect us can make our kindness and liking more valuable.
03: Grasping the sense of proportion is the key to paying people sincerely.
My friend Xiaoqing's husband is the vice president of a big company and doesn't want to work for others to start a business.
Because of lack of funds, Xiaoqing finally agreed to mortgage the only house in her family to support her husband's career after complicated ideological struggle.
In this way, all the deposits, loans and mortgages were put together, and I barely opened my own garage in my hometown county.
However, in less than half a year, the mother and son visited her husband once, but found evidence of her husband's betrayal in the room.
It is said that women have a sixth sense. In fact, many times it is because the other party can't cover up all the details and eventually expose things to the sun.
At first, he vowed to give mother and son a better life and work hard for this family. As soon as he left, he forgot the husband-wife agreement.
Xiaoqing's husband fell in love with a local girl soon after he returned to his hometown to start a company.
He argued that the girl chased him, and he didn't resist the temptation for a while before making a mistake.
Because of kindness and love, we can be kind to a person, understand him, respect him, help him and achieve him.
But Xiaoqing paid unreservedly, gambled on her husband's company and shared family responsibilities, but made herself look like a fool, and everything went down the drain.
It turns out that this is how he and Mei Mei's family dissolved.
Sincerity is priceless and should not be priced. Kindness and love can be free, but they will never be trampled on.
Grasp the discretion, leave some room for yourself, and let the other party see our efforts appropriately, so as to make ourselves truly valuable, and kindness and love are no longer cheap.
Kindness and love can be free, because it can bring pleasure to people. Moreover, pure love is from the heart, a kind of self-improvement, and does not need the return of the other party.
But everyone has their own independent personality, which deserves to be seen, respected and loved. Our kindness and love are by no means cheap.