In order to stay happy, you must pay attention to the following taboos. If you don't violate any of them, I believe you will be a very happy person in life.
1. Avoid perfectionism
Although it is human nature to pursue beauty, if you overdo it, it will bring you a lot of unnecessary trouble. Perfectionists demand perfection in everything and pursue the best in everything. As we all know, the pursuit of perfection often brings unhappiness to oneself, and even affects one's normal life.
There is a lady who is obsessed with cleanliness. She cleans the house thoroughly every day, leaving no room for doors, windows, tables and chairs. Change the quilt cover every week, and put soap on your hands every time. Wash the bowl after every meal and cook it in the pot for half an hour. Guests' used cups must be thrown away. She never eats out, doesn't sit on the bench in public, and even takes money with a handkerchief. As her requirements for sanitary conditions become more and more perfect and demanding, she becomes more and more melancholy and indifferent. She spends most of her time cleaning and is indifferent to other things. Because of her cleanliness, her friends don't like to come to her house to play, and she doesn't want to go out, because she thinks everything is dirty except her own house.
Carpenter, a famous female singer who is famous all over the world because of Yesterday's reappearance, should have been a very happy person, but after becoming famous, she began to give up on herself, tried to diet and lose weight, and finally suffered from severe anorexia, and paid a young and precious life for it.
From the two examples of the lady and the carpenter, it can be seen that if you pursue something too much (such as personal hygiene, figure, etc.). ), it will become a burden and a shackle. Nothing in the world is perfect. If you persist in your pursuit and don't stop until you reach your goal, you will only get your head smashed.
2. Don't blindly compare.
Such a short story was published in a magazine.
There are two equally beautiful female classmates, one is Ling, who is generous and capable, and the other is Hong, who comes from a powerful family. After graduation, Ling was assigned to work in a library, while Hong was assigned to a government office because of his father. Before long, Hong got a room and found a handsome and capable boyfriend, while Ling was mediocre at work. Ling thinks everything in her school is better than Hong. Now Hong has everything, but she has nothing. She began to envy Hong and wanted to surpass him by her own efforts. Ling transferred from a good library to a government department through connections. At the same time, she also found a good boyfriend who didn't love. Just when Ling was happy that she was going to buy a house to catch up with Hong, Hong had emigrated to the United States with her husband. After Hong left, Ling was not happy, but lost. After Ling finally came to her senses, she realized how ridiculous it was to blindly compare with the previous red ratio. Ling left her boyfriend she didn't love and went back to the library to start her new life.
In fact, since graduation, Ling has lost herself. She has been following Hong, and she has lost her pursuit and direction. The whole meaning of Ling's life is to catch up with Hong. As a result, Ling has been unhappy until she untied the shackles of her thoughts and put down the burden in her heart, and she found herself again. Ling's story tells us that it is better to be true to yourself than to follow and envy others forever. If catching up with someone is our goal in life, then we lose ourselves and happiness at the same time.
3. Don't embarrass yourself
There is a kind of "tile-missing effect" in psychology, which tells that the roof of a house is covered with dense tiles, but some people don't look at the well-laid and neat tiles when they look at the items of the house, but look at the leaked tiles. This effect is specially used to satirize those who always find fault with themselves and always love and belittle themselves.
Some people may ask, is there anyone else willing to embarrass themselves? Yes, there are many such people. For example, a bald person pays special attention to other people's hair when he arrives in the crowd; A person with dark skin pays the most attention to other people's skin; A stutterer is most concerned about whether others speak fluently. In short, they are used to comparing their own shortcomings with others, but they turn a blind eye to their own advantages. There is a lady who is smart, capable and beautiful. The only drawback is that she is a little short. She felt very inferior about it. When she meets people, she will consciously or unconsciously compare herself with others. She wore high heels all day and wondered: Will others notice that I am too short? In fact, she doesn't know that everyone is envious of her intelligence and ability, and no one cares about her height at all.
Everyone has his own shortcomings and shortcomings. Comparing one's own shortcomings with others' strengths will inevitably lead to depression and lack of self-confidence. How can such a person be happy? So remember, don't embarrass yourself, don't embarrass yourself. Everyone has shortcomings. Accept them frankly and face them directly so that they will not defeat you. Let shortcomings accompany you to be happy!
4. Avoid being competitive.
People who are competitive are often unhappy, and keeping a normal heart is the secret of happiness. The most typical example of being competitive is Mei Gufang in Mr. Jin Yong's martial arts masterpiece "Chivalrous Man". Mei was originally a versatile and stunning woman, but her lover Shi Qing fell in love with a woman who was inferior to her in all aspects, and Mei was puzzled. 10 years later, she asked Shi Qing who was more beautiful than Min Rou, and Shi Qing replied that she was beautiful; She then asked who was strong in martial arts, and Shi Qing replied that she was strong; She asked who had a higher literary accomplishment, and Shi Qing replied that both of them could not compare with her. Mei sneered, "I'm not as good at sewing and cooking as this sensitive sister." Shi Qing replied: "Min Rou can neither mend clothes, nor cut shirts, nor is he good at cooking. He can't even cook scrambled eggs well." Mei Gufang harsh voice asked, in that case, why Shi Qing just like Min Rou, and don't like her? Shi Qing said, "You are more sensitive than my sister in all aspects, not only better than her, but also better than me. I feel ashamed to be with you, and I don't deserve to be with you. " May Gu Fang finally understood, so she let out a scream and committed suicide.
On the surface, Mei Gufang's story seems to say that too capable women make men feel inferior, but they can't get love. Men like a gentle woman like Min Rou. But think about it deeply, the reason why Mei Gufang is unlovable is not that she is versatile. Isn't Huang Rong versatile? May Gu Fang is not cute because she is so competitive that she thinks she can get whatever she wants. If you can't get the right person, you will ruin your appearance, take your son away, and finally commit suicide in anger. Such people, whether men or women, will not be happy or likable.
People who are too competitive are still dissatisfied and unhappy even if they have everything that others envy. On the contrary, keep a normal mind and let nature take its course, and you will live happily. There is an interesting story called "Old people always do the right thing". Once upon a time, there was an old couple who had two cows. One day, the old man changed the cow into a sheep. Everyone called the old man stupid and said that he had been cheated. Only the old woman smiled and said, "Old people always do the right thing." Later, the prodigal old man traded a sheep for a chicken, then a chicken for an egg, an egg for a broken wooden basin and a broken wooden basin for a pair of sandals. Amid people's ridicule and advice, the old woman still smiled and said, "Old people always do the right thing." At the end of the story, the old man has millions of wealth and lives a happy life with the old woman. People asked about the secret of getting rich, and the old woman replied with an inscrutable smile, "Old people always do the right thing."
Although this story has little to do with being competitive, it gives a lot of inspiration to unhappy people. "Losing" itself won't make you unhappy. What makes you unhappy is your view of "losing". When you regret what you just lost, you may be losing more and more precious oriental words, such as happiness. It is not easy to keep a normal heart, at least in real life, there are not many wise people like old women.
In short, happiness is in your own hands, and it is a very big misunderstanding to think that the more you have, the happier you will be. Happiness has little to do with your looks, money, status and reputation. Happiness is a feeling, a state of mind and an experience. Even if you have nothing, you will be happy. On the other hand, wealth may not buy a smile.