I think everyone has had this experience. Appropriate intimidation can help them avoid contact with dangerous things or situations to a certain extent. It is really effective in educating children, but it does more harm than good.
Many parents also understand that this way may cause harm to their children, but why are they still keen on "threatening parenting"?
Reason:
1. There is no other correct and effective method.
Parents know that it is not the most appropriate way to calm their children down or achieve a certain goal through intimidation, but they still use intimidation every time they encounter something. Because there is no more effective way, this simple and effective way of intimidation will be widely used by parents.
2. Lack of patience
The pressure of work and life makes parents overwhelmed, and all aspects occupy a lot of parents' energy. As a result, many parents do not have enough energy when educating their children and lack patience with family education.
When children cry, they behave inappropriately: fighting, swearing, disobedience, eating badly, sleeping badly and lying. Once parents' repeated persuasion is useless and patience is exhausted, children's behavior will get out of control and they will involuntarily use intimidation to stop their improper words and deeds.
The effect is obvious and immediate.
Many parents said that intimidation is useful in most cases, which can make the crying child calm down instantly and stop the child's misconduct in time.
Many times, persuasion and reasoning can't calm children down, so it's better to intimidate them. Moreover, parents do not pay enough attention to their children's mental health, and always feel that it is nothing to be scared.
It is suggested not to abuse or intimidate children as much as possible, and not to always look like "I am doing it for your own good, you must listen". Intimidation is not the best way to educate children. Parents should carefully understand their children and teach them in accordance with their aptitude.
Parents threaten education: you think it is a trivial matter, which may be the shadow of a child's life. I saw a report that a parent threatened education and ruined a child. Let me show you:
A few days ago, in Nantong, Jiangsu, a boy of 10 years old secretly took home 100 yuan in order to go to his classmate's house to play, and was sent to the police station by his parents.
As a result, the police patiently educated the boy, and the boy realized his mistake and returned the rest of the money to his parents.
But also educate that boy's parents:
"Parents should first educate their children in a reasonable and legal way. Don't always say that you made a mistake, let the police uncle arrest you. Let the children know that they should ask the police uncle for help if they encounter any dangerous things in the future. Don't remind the children of the police uncle. Very scared. "
This is an upgraded version of "If you don't listen, the police will take you away"!
So what is the essence of "intimidation education"?
Alfie Cohen's Unconditional Parenting says: Parents like to use threatening education, which is actually "withdrawal of love", that is, temporary emotional abandonment. Although this practice will not harm the child's body, it is even colder than beating and cursing.