The question of "whether a woman is excellent" mentioned in the last article is actually related to "conditions". If the man you face thinks that you are not good and that he is better than you, then he will make a deal with you invisibly, instead of letting you make a deal with him in turn.
or vice versa, Dallas to the auditorium If women are better than men, then definitely not men can control the overall situation. This is the so-called "right to speak". People with more capital and good conditions are not afraid of losing, while people with less capital and poor conditions are very afraid of losing. Therefore, it is reasonable for people with less capital and poor conditions to choose appropriate concessions according to this law.
Between the following husband and wife, that is, the woman has more capital, better conditions and more voice than the man, and the man naturally gives in. Only in this way can the marriage start smoothly. You just told me the female words, and you told me before the male words. Let's listen to their respective statements:
Woman: "Lin Dong, I just read your article about" Are women excellent? "In fact, I am quite touched. Although I am not excellent, I have been on the road and trying to appreciate myself.
Generally speaking, my condition is better than other women around me, and all this is due to my parents, who have created good conditions for me. As the saying goes, don't let your child lose at the starting line. This starting line refers to parents, not the pressure parents put on their children.
My parents have laid a good foundation for my family, and I am willing to work hard myself, so I am ok on the whole. At least, compared with my husband's comprehensive conditions, I am better than him.
It is precisely because of such an objective fact that in our marriage, I have always been the dominant and he has always been the subordinate. I have no problem with him because he has self-knowledge and knows what he is, so he never argues with me and is willing to be a subordinate.
In fact, this is just the overall state of our marriage. As far as details are concerned, we also have problems when talking about marriage. The problem is not my husband, but my mother-in-law
My parents bought me a house before I talked about marriage. The requirement for my husband is only to give a bride price, not to ask him to buy a house, but the house cannot be named after him.
He did agree, but the mother-in-law disagreed and asked my mother to add my son's name to the house. My mother said to her, "The house is my daughter's property before marriage. Don't worry. It's no use worrying. There is no point in adding your son's name. "
It was my husband who did ideological work for my mother-in-law that kept our marriage from going to tragedy. I think it's enough for him to manage his family and be himself. In fact, as long as he is always well, as long as we don't divorce, the house will always be ours, and I will add his name sooner or later. 』
Man: "the dark side of human nature exists in everyone, but some people know how to manage and some people don't." When many people talk about human nature, they always pay attention to outsiders and seldom pay attention to their own families. I don't think this is a good idea. What is the human nature of one's own family should be understood more clearly.
My mother showed her dark side when I got married. She was plotting against me. Maybe she thinks she means well, but it doesn't look good to me.
My conditions are limited, and so are my family conditions. My wife is in good condition, and so is my family. In the matter of our marriage, her requirements are very low, as long as I give the bride price, I don't need to buy a house. This is a gift for people with poor conditions like me, and I can't help but feel grateful.
Her mother said there was nothing wrong with adding my name to the house. In fact, it doesn't make any sense to add it, because the house has always been my wife's pre-marital property. However, my mother doesn't agree. First, she went to my wife's house to make trouble. After being rejected, she said to me, "Son, you can't have your name on the real estate license, or you will suffer from divorce!" "
This is obviously "nonsense" and obviously a calculation. I'm really disappointed. I've planned a divorce before I get married. I told her:
"Our conditions are poor, and less unreasonable requirements can make the marriage last. If you always make unreasonable demands, it will only accelerate the divorce. There is a fact that even if my name is added to the house, I can't get it after divorce, because it is her pre-marital property, so I don't care about the house. We should make more concessions and be grateful for being respected. "
I didn't let my mother continue to interfere in my marriage. Her attitude is not good. According to her attitude, it will definitely ruin my marriage. It's not terrible that men are in poor condition, what's terrible is that they dare not admit it. In fact, as long as you admit it, it's nothing. If your wife is qualified, let her be the leader, so that you can balance each other psychologically and avoid conflict. 』
It is not terrible for men to be poor, but it is terrible for poor selfishness! From the perspective of conventional marriage, men need to spend money to get a wife. If you feel unfair, if you feel miserable, then find someone who is willing to marry you without money. As long as you can find it, it's your skill. But if you can't find it, you must accept the fact that marriage costs money.
For poor men, getting married costs money and causes great pressure. In this case, if you don't meet a woman with good conditions like the man above, it's best not to get married in a hurry, but to make money if you are short of money, so as to make yourself less stressed.
And if you meet a woman with good conditions like the man above, which can make you spend less money, then you need to be sensible, honest and responsible, which is the only advantage you can stick to.
It is not terrible for men to be poor, but it is terrible for poor selfishness! The mother of the man above is a poor and selfish person. His son has no condition to spend money to marry a wife like others. He finally met a good woman who could get their family married with less money. She doesn't know how to be grateful and has to calculate. This is so unreasonable. If a man who is a party to a marriage is so selfish, he will definitely screw up the marriage.
Other women, regardless of men, should know how to measure themselves and each other before marriage. You have good conditions and a lot of capital, so you have the right to speak and make reasonable demands on each other; But if you have poor conditions and less capital, you might as well give more to each other. Only by reaching such a balanced state can marriage start smoothly. Otherwise, you have no right to speak, but you have to make unreasonable demands. If you are not sensible, once you are broken off by the other party, you will definitely suffer heavy losses.