1. Introduction: I recently reviewed the classic love trilogy: before sunrise (1995), love at sunset and dusk, and love before midnight. From the romantic love myth to the marriage grave of a chicken feather, it took 18 years to interpret the hero and heroine.
On the surface, it's just a story of true love disappearing and myth disillusionment. However, Douban has nearly 6.5438+0 million viewers, but it gives a rare high score of 8.8 to love movies. Why is the evaluation so high? Apart from the fact that the plot is true enough, there is a more important reason. There are tenable intimate relationship philosophy and values behind it. What I want to discuss today is these hidden things.
2. Is falling in love love? Before sunrise-in the film, Jesse and Celine met in line with our perfect imagination of romance. When Jessie told Celine: When I was three years old, I sprayed water on the sun with a hose in the backyard to make a rainbow. Through the mist, I saw my dead grandmother, who stood there and smiled at me. At that moment, Celine's eyes lit up and she fell in love with the innocent boy in front of her.
Scott Peck, a psychologist at Harvard University, said: People who fall in love are often full of romantic confession. But it is not true love, but a subjective wish.
There are two reasons:
1. Falling in love usually produces related desires. It's like Celine fell in love with Jesse on the train and couldn't help but want to get close to him. Jesse thinks they should have sex.
2. When Celine hesitated, Jessie gently persuaded her first. After persuasion failed, he verbally agreed not to have sex, but his body was already moving.
3. Falling in love is just an illusion of love, and falling in love is a kind of degeneration of emotion and soul. When they met, Jesse was experiencing the frustration of being lovelorn.
Six months ago, Celine also suffered the blow of lovelorn. It is not difficult to see that Jesse and Celine are just two ordinary confused young people: burdened with the trauma of the past, suffering from the setbacks of the present, and full of fear and anxiety about the future. With unspeakable loneliness, they present themselves to each other without reservation; With a breathtaking freshness, they are full of curiosity and imagination about each other. Gradually, loneliness disappeared, replaced by the joy of love.
But they forget the fact that they are not familiar with each other and they don't know themselves well enough. From this dimension, falling in love is not true love, but the illusion of love. It may eliminate loneliness, but it can't bring real nourishment. This also indicates the direction of their next relationship.
4. Indulge in the myth of love, in order to escape the "sunset love"-after dawn, the two were inseparable and met again after falling in love for 6 months. Jesse has an appointment; But Celine stood me up because her grandmother died. The two regretted missing it.
Later, Jesse married his college girlfriend (because she was pregnant), but he didn't love each other and just fulfilled his obligations. On the other hand, Celine was repeatedly hurt in a failed relationship. Finally, she chose a long-distance relationship with a war correspondent and lived alone for a long time. In this way, the two drew a prison in their respective lives, and neither of them took the initiative to find each other.
Ironically, the more cruel the reality is, the weaker life is, and the more they can't forget the romance of that night. Until nine years later, in Paris, the two met again. With unspeakable loneliness, they once again presented themselves to each other without reservation. The difference is that after nine years of tempering, they have all become more determined and powerful.
Falling in love is part of building love. When Celine talked endlessly about her work ambition and past sad love history, Jesse gently tolerated her emotional loss of control. When Jesse hesitated to reveal the tragic situation of his marriage and various thoughts about Celine, Celine also tried to soothe her loneliness and sadness. At this time, they no longer seek recognition from each other with their own defects as they did nine years ago.
But based on the present, truly see and connect with the people in front of you. This also means that the two began to enter the real love from the illusion of love. In The Road Few People Walk, Parker said: True love is a self-expanding experience. It may not be as passionate as falling in love, but it is more meaningful for growth and makes us more satisfied.
Falling in love itself is not love, but it is an important part of building love. The key lies in: we choose to escape from reality and consume each other; Or choose to be based on reality, constantly expand and improve yourself, and jointly write love myths.
6. Creating love myths is eternal? The second reunion of love before midnight strengthened their will to continue their love. Later, Celine got pregnant. In order to give birth more smoothly, Jesse accompanied Celine back to Paris to live and raise the children together. During this period, the whole life state of the two people is no different from that of ordinary couples.
For example, the differences in parenting concepts. Celine likes to control, while Jesse advocates letting nature take its course. Celine accused Jesse of being self-absorbed, and Jesse accused Celine of complaining every day. Finally, the quarrel escalated and Celine slammed the door. If they hurt each other like this, if they are young lovers, they are likely to break up; But strangely, many middle-aged couples will eventually reach a settlement in some way. Jesse and Celine are no exception.
After the violent quarrel, Jesse took the initiative to seek reconciliation with Celine, although he was very sad. Although Celine was very sad, she chose to let go of her temper and make peace with Jesse. Through this roller coaster-like love war, I really realized what love is from two people.
7. What is love? Parker said in "The Road Few People Walk" that love is a willingness to constantly expand self-boundaries and achieve self-improvement in order to promote the mental maturity of oneself and others. This definition has two main aspects.
First, love is a will. It is not a simple feeling or desire, but a willingness to turn love into action. In other words, it requires us to love actively, not passively.
Secondly, love needs to promote the mental maturity of itself and others by constantly expanding and perfecting itself. It requires us to face the reality after the myth of love is shattered, constantly transcend our own boundaries and help ourselves and others grow through continuous efforts. When we love someone: we can't sit back and enjoy the success, nor can we rely too much on each other; Don't sacrifice too much and hinder each other's growth.
8. On the surface, the film tells a true story from love myth to marriage grave; But in fact, it also tells a romantic story of continuing to write a love myth from the marriage grave.
In my opinion, the greatest value of this film series is that it presents all kinds of romanticism that we once expected in our minds and all kinds of puzzles that we have to face now and in the future. Of course, movies never give you a clear answer to life. Only by living, loving, expecting, quarreling, confused and suffering completely can we understand what kind of life we want and finally reach a settlement with our own life.
Before that, all we can do is learn how to love. In the process of love, constantly expand the self-boundary, from which we can shape a different brand-new self and realize self-improvement. At the same time, we should constantly contribute our emotions and wisdom, listen to each other's voices, pay attention to each other's needs, and drive each other to grow together.