The more you grow up, the more lonely you get. This is the voice of many adults.
Would you do the same? Mobile phone address book Many people contact for something. They chat with friends and share some funny jokes, but most of them are basically out of touch. Sometimes I talk a lot, I don't know who to tell, and finally I choose to hide it in my heart.
Sometimes we can't help but wonder whether we are growing up, whether we are gaining or losing.
People always miss their youth, when there were endless interesting things to do and many like-minded partners. When I grow up, these beautiful past have become the future that can never be reached, and can only be used for nostalgia and emotion.
Miss sun, who has been drifting in the north for 6 years, has long been used to spending the holidays alone. All the friends around her are in love or married, so it is not easy to disturb them on holidays.
Xiao Lin, who was dismissed by the company, was very wronged. Finally, I chose a person to eat a spicy hot pot and ate it with sadness.
Looking at the deserted shop, Mr. Ma walked to the side of the road and smoked several cigarettes in succession.
Xiao Rui has been pushed out of the company, and I don't know whether he should resign. He opened several dialog boxes, but he closed them silently. Finally, I put forward a question and answer on a website, and wrote down my experience and helplessness with strangers. ...
The more I grow up, the more melancholy I get, but many times no one tells me and no one understands. So people often make the best choice and digest everything with silence.
I believe many people have felt this way. Why is it harder to make friends when you grow up?
There are many people asking questions, but confusion is always there. On this issue, Lao Wang thinks:
1, the older you get, the more vigilant you are.
When I was young, the relationship between friends was simple and I never experienced real setbacks. I don't have much defense, and I don't pretend to be myself. When I grow up, people's hearts are complicated, and not every time I really pay, I can get sincere treatment.
Miss Luo used to work in the same unit as her friend Xiaowen, and they had a good relationship. After Xiaowen resigned, they kept in touch, often went shopping and ate together, and never blushed for five years. They are willing to share anything with Xiaowen. Later, Xiaowen started purchasing, and Miss Luo also bought something from her. Miss Luo was once told by another friend that her handbag was a fake at a party. Later, she went to a professional organization to identify what she bought, only to find that there were very few genuine products, and most of them were fake.
Miss Luo was heartbroken and found Xiaowen to discuss it. Finally, Xiaowen made some compensation, but Miss Luo was heartbroken. Since then, she has been more cautious about making friends, telling herself not to trust anyone easily, even those who feel very close.
The older you get, the more things you experience. People will learn from their own injuries and other people's experiences, raise the threshold of trust, constantly disguise themselves and protect themselves from harm. Gradually, the distance between people was pulled open. Even many people will choose not to trust others wholeheartedly, nor will they give wholeheartedly.
Therefore, it is getting harder and harder to make friends with people you can talk to, because the threshold of trust is getting higher and higher.
2. Narrow social circle
There are only two people in Miss Li's office, she and her colleagues. Colleagues from other departments only communicate when handing over documents. Every day after work, most of her will go straight home and occasionally go shopping and watch movies with her friends. She has worked in this company for five years, and her life is repeating day after day. She seldom has a chance to make new friends, let alone find them. Miss Li's situation is also the epitome of many office workers.
After people enter the social stage, they are divided into countless cells, which is not a big collective life in school at all. The circle of life is getting narrower and narrower, and many people are limited by their careers, so there are not many opportunities to meet new friends.
Most of the people around me are colleagues from the company and friends from several schools. After growing up, friends gradually have their own lives, families and careers, drifting away from each other and having less and less common topics. Colleagues communicate more at work, or eat and chat together during breaks, especially in the same group, and it is difficult to become heart-to-heart friends when they are interested.
3, social barriers are higher, there is no * * * the same language, how to talk?
Heart-to-heart friends need a deeper spiritual fit. On campus, people are more similar to each other, learning the same textbooks and experiencing the same things. Under the same study and living environment, there will naturally be many topics of common interest.
After entering the society, it is not only difficult to make friends to talk to. Some partners who used to talk about everything will gradually alienate. Because, after entering the society, the gap between everyone's development, career, life concept and so on is getting bigger and bigger.
After attending the dormitory party, Xiao Xu was filled with emotion. He has been a chat partner for four years. After meeting, he talked about cars, houses and children. Xiao Xu, who has no staff, can only chat awkwardly, and never find the happiness of that year again. At the beginning, the intimate little sister who had chatted with herself in the upper bunk all night has become an expert in parenting and can no longer talk together.
When we were young, we were unprepared and friends around us could wake us up at any time. With our growth, our social barriers are getting higher and higher, our experiences are similar, and our three views are harmonious, so that we can really have something to say. It takes enough fate to find such similar souls and open their hearts to each other, but not everyone can have such good luck.
4. In social relations, the interest chain has changed.
Everyone becomes busy after entering the society, and the social communication between people is more of a kind of resource replacement and interest exchange. The resource substitution efficiency of the network is getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer friends to talk to.
Lao Wei is a consultant for large enterprises. He has many friends and a wide network of contacts. But he knows that all the friends around him are valuable to each other or have the same interests. What's on his mind and thoughts, he will only talk to his two old partners for more than ten years. They understand each other and know each other very well, and they are the people he can really talk to.
When I was a child, making friends was more for happiness, more for each other's sincerity, and more for profit when I grew up. If others value your resources for making friends, you want to convey sincerity. Such an unequal exchange relationship between supply and demand is doomed to be difficult to establish.
Write it at the end
Lao Wang thinks it is difficult to get a heart-to-heart friend. Need enough fate, but also need courage and sincerity. But it is precisely because of this rarity that friendship becomes more precious.
I hope you don't lock your heart and treat others sincerely, and you will meet similar souls. That kind of joy is enough to warm your life.
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