Marriage counselor, psychological counselor

Compared with marriage counselors, marriage counselors have more flexibility in their work. Often a person's marriage problems also involve his personal growth and personality problems. Marriage counselors pay more attention to the individual problems of a single visitor. For couples, it is important to establish the relationship between the two sides. For family tourists, they attach importance to family structure. So marriage counselors can be one-to-one or one-to-many. Compared with marriage counselors, it involves a wider range. The foundation of marriage counselors is biased towards law, social customs and interpersonal relationships. The foundation of marriage counselor is more inclined to psychology. It is generally believed that the emotional basis of marriage is love, and psychology summarizes love into three aspects.

Lust-sexual passion and desire

Intimacy-sincerity and understanding

Commitment-input and risk

However, love does not necessarily lead to a relationship. From love to marriage to family, the form of love is also mobile.

Many love relationships have an extremely intense and focused stage at the beginning, which is called love. As time goes by, the relationship between the two sides will often change into a state of decreasing intensity but deepening intimacy, which is called partner love.

When sex becomes the love of partners, the first crisis of love and marriage appears. Many people mistake this natural change for "the love is over".

In the end, the partner's love will be transformed into family affection. In the process from lust to partner to affection, people's experience of love is also influenced by local culture. A culture with an independent self values people more than the collective, while an interdependent culture values the same cultural goals more than individual goals. The counselor of Yanyuan Bosi Psychological Counseling Center said that it is precisely because China pays more attention to the collective that many conflicts in marriage focus on the individual's resistance to the collective. In the process of consultation, we can often see three basic relationship models: security attachment, avoidance and anxiety contradiction. These three attachment styles reflect the relationship basis of different visitors to the marriage interaction model.

Security attachment visitor:

I find it relatively easy to get close to other people, and relying on them makes me feel comfortable. I'm not always worried about being abandoned or someone getting too close to me.

Avoidant visitor

I feel uncomfortable being close to other people. I find it difficult to trust them completely and rely on them. Anyone who comes too close to me makes me nervous. Lovers often bring me closer, but this closeness makes me very uncomfortable.

Anxiety and contradiction visitors

I feel that others are a little far away from me, not as close as I thought. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or doesn't want to be with me. I want to be very close to my partner, but sometimes I scare people away.

Each marriage counseling visitor who enters marriage has his own original relationship type and combines with another visitor with the same or different relationship type. Therefore, there will be disharmony in the relationship and unsmooth communication during the period. On the one hand, the job of marriage counselor is to rebuild the communication mode and make it return to normal. On the other hand, it presents the interaction mode and inherent mode of the marriage parties themselves, such as taking the mirror as a mirror to promote visitors to know themselves better.