The crux of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lies in the man in the middle, his emotional intelligence and his ability to do things.
Two days ago, I watched an interview with actor Du Jiang. The marriage between Du Jiang and Huo Siyan is a model of love, with loving husband and wife, lovely children, and the strength envied by the audience.
In fact, the marriage of stars, like ordinary people, also has their troubles. When asked, "If there is a contradiction or quarrel between mother and wife Huo Siyan in front of Du Jiang, which side will Du Jiang stand on?" Du Jiang's answer is:
"In fact, I also summed up three words, which is a treasure trove to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, called' less meeting'."
Seeing less is a simple and rude method, but it is the most effective method.
Meeting less is actually giving the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law the initiative to their respective families back to each other. The two families do not interfere in each other's lives and give each other more freedom.
Many contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are caused by different lifestyles, concepts and habits under one roof. After all, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not mother and daughter, and they don't remember a night's feud when they quarrel. They only come together because they love the same man, and they all have exclusive desires for this man's love. One of them is too close to this man, which will inevitably lead to the loss of the other party. After a long time, the gap will deepen.
In addition, some mothers-in-law regard their sons as their own lives, and some sons also regard their mothers as their own days. Even when they are married and should support their wives and children, they habitually rely on their mothers to run their own small homes.
An irresponsible husband is pushing his wife against her mother-in-law, and the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is on the verge.
Xiao Min (pseudonym) has been disappointed with her husband Huang Wei (pseudonym) for more than two days, but Xiao Min has been enduring it for the sake of the children. It is easy to choose a new life by divorce, because she has the ability to raise children alone; But the child is still young, and she doesn't want the child to live in a single-parent family, and she doesn't want the child to have a shadow in her heart. Women who have children are desperate to protect these weak people in a way that they think is good for their children.
But this recent incident made Xiao Min realize that her husband was hopeless. Now he can cheat Xiao Min without considering Xiao Min's feelings, and there is no guarantee that he won't do anything else in the future. This home really has no place in my husband's heart, so let him go back to his home. Xiao Min finally decided to divorce Huang Wei.
Before getting married, Xiao Min worked as a human resources director in a company, and his salary was relatively high. Her parents are her only daughter, and they love her very much, but they don't spoil her. So Xiao Min is actually quite independent and powerful.
Huang Wei is a very aggressive person. He has a good idea to change his life. After graduating from college, he chose to stay in the city and work hard because there are many opportunities and many directions to choose from. After several jobs, he decided to start a company in partnership with his friends.
Xiao Min met him when he was in high spirits. He was moved by his persistence, perseverance and hard-working spirit, and insisted on marrying stevie hoang despite his parents' opposition.
When he got married, Huang Wei had little money. His company is still in the stage of seeing no output. For the cause of stevie hoang, Xiao Min persuaded his parents not to give the bride price, and gave stevie hoang the 654.38 million+yuan he had saved for the company's turnover.
Xiao Min's parents couldn't convince their daughter and couldn't bear to watch her suffer with Huang Wei, so they took back the rented house, decorated it briefly and made a wedding room for them.
Huang Wei is also very grateful to her parents-in-law for their understanding. He swore before his parents that he would be kind to Xiao Min all his life.
After marriage, they worked together and really had a good time. The happy time was broken when Xiao Min gave birth to his son.
Xiao Min gave birth to a baby, because she didn't want her mother-in-law to be in charge of confinement, but she still wanted to go back to her mother's house for confinement. Because my mother has retired, if she is too busy, she can ask for help for another month. And that stage happened to be the most critical period for Steven Huang's development, and she didn't want to affect stevie hoang's career.
But his mother-in-law insisted on coming, and Huang Wei did not object. He said to Xiao Min, "My mother has always wanted to see it since we got married. This is also an opportunity. Tell her to come and stay a little longer. Poor my mother has never left my place. "
Xiao Min can't say anything. She only met her mother-in-law once, before marriage. At that time, her mother-in-law was very enthusiastic about her and treated her with delicious food for fear that she would neglect Xiao Min because of her poor care. Anyway, the first impression is not bad.
But on the first day of her mother-in-law's visit, Xiao Min felt depressed.
That evening, my mother-in-law laid out everything she had brought: a big pile of diapers cut with old autumn clothes and trousers, several sets of old children's clothes without color, and several bags of miscellaneous grains such as millet, which she also showed to Xiao Min and scattered all over the floor.
Mother-in-law continued: "Children need diapers so that they won't suffocate and their buttocks won't get red pimples;" These old clothes are used by relatives and children in the village. The new clothes are not good, they are thick and smelly. Children have to wear hundreds of clothes to grow strong. "
Xiao Min was in distress situation: "Mom, we have prepared diapers and new clothes, and they have all been washed clean, so they don't prick the skin. These other people's things are not easy to use. I don't know if there are any bacteria. "
My mother-in-law immediately turned her face and quarreled loudly: "What's the matter? You don't like us rural people, do you? If we are dirty, then you still marry my son. He is also from the countryside, so don't post it backwards. "
Xiao Min, who seldom quarrels with others, stood there dumbfounded. What stevie hoang saw when he came back was that his mother was shouting loudly, while Xiao Min was looking on coldly.
When her mother-in-law saw Huang Wei, her tears came down: "Son, you'd better send me back. I'm here to interfere with your daughter-in-law's eyes. "
Stevie hoang could only coax her mother and winked at Xiao Min, asking her to come and persuade her. Xiao Min ignored, turned back to the bedroom. After a long time, Huang Wei came back and said to Xiao Min, "She is an old man. What can't you say? It will make it difficult for everyone to get along. "
Xiao Min sneered: "All right. Your mother is really amazing, I will hide in the future. "
I was unhappy on my first day here. I can imagine getting along with you in the future.
My mother-in-law is also very good at acting. When stevie hoang was at home, she was very cautious in front of Xiao Min and gave delicious food to Xiao Min. When stevie hoang was not at home, her mother-in-law ran away from home and disappeared. She ran out and got lost, which led stevie hoang to leave her job to look for it. She also told stevie hoang that it was because Xiao Min was very picky and let her go out to buy what she wanted, which made her very frustrated. Why do you want to boss an old rural lady like this? A face of injustice.
Huang Wei, of course, has to defend his poor mother.
Gradually, because of her mother-in-law, the dispute between Xiao Min and stevie hoang began. At first, Xiao Min would defend himself, but stevie hoang wouldn't listen. He just decided that Xiao Min looked down on his mother and embarrassed her. Gradually, Xiao Min was too lazy to argue with him.
When the child was half a year old, her mother-in-law was too thick-skinned and clamored to go home. You can tell stevie hoang the reason, but Xiao Min hates her. At his age, why stay here and look at other people's faces? Let's go home so as not to be annoying.
After her mother-in-law came back, the atmosphere at home never returned to the past, but Steven Huang became more and more indifferent. Stevie hoang's career by going up one flight of stairs, she is busier and often not at home. Although stevie hoang was still dissatisfied with Xiao Min because of his mother, Xiao Min never found a chance to explain it to him. The two became more and more silent, and the only topic they could talk about was their son.
Xiao Min is not satisfied with their present relationship, and stevie hoang also feels that Xiao Min is not as considerate as before. The relationship between two people now is really as cold and pure as "brothers sleeping in the upper bunk".
Since Huang Wei Company began to make money, Huang Wei paid back the 654.38+million yuan that Xiao Min had given him, and gave Xiao Min 6000 yuan for living expenses every month.
When Huang Bo first got married, it was very difficult. Xiao Min supports their life with his own money. Now Huang Wei has made money, and most of his living expenses are borne by him. Xiao Min doesn't know how much money stevie hoang has earned these years. She didn't ask, but she still believed in stevie hoang.
But just a while ago, Xiao Min overheard Huang Wei answering his mother's phone and heard the words "house" and "sister" intermittently. When stevie hoang put the phone down and found Xiao Min, he looked a little flustered. Xiao Min didn't bother to ask. Now Xiao Min doesn't care about her husband's family at all. I used to send some money to my mother-in-law, but now I don't give any money, which is chilling.
About two or three months later, one night, Huang Wei came home smelling of wine again, more drunk than usual. He put his bag on the coffee table and couldn't get it up on the sofa.
Xiao Min wants to help him to the bedroom. Without help, he went to cover himself with a blanket and reached for his bag. The zipper of the bag is not zipped, and there is a hardcover book inside. Take it out and have a look It's a real estate license.
Xiao Min thinks that stevie hoang secretly bought a new house to surprise her. As a result, when she opened the real estate license, she was really surprised, but not happy, but afraid.
This is a house in the center of the city with high value. The name on the property certificate is not her Xiao Min or stevie hoang, but the name of her sister-in-law, Steven Huang's only sister.
Huang Wei's sister graduated less than two years ago and worked as a secretary in a company. She has absolutely no such strength. Huang Wei's family still lives on Huang Wei, not to mention buying a house for her daughter. The only person who can afford a house is Huang Wei.
But the two still live in the house given by their parents, but the husband bought the house for his sister in full.
For such a big thing, stevie hoang kept a trace of wind from him. Does he still have room in his heart? Does this family still have a place in Steven Huang's heart? And a son. Does Huang Wei still have this son in his heart?
These questions made Xiao Min suddenly feel that it was ridiculous that he still insisted on this cold marriage. Between everyone and family, stevie hoang has given his own attitude, while Xiao Min feels that he has no courage and necessity to persist.
The next day, after Huang Wei woke up, Xiao Min calmly asked Huang Wei for a divorce and told Huang Wei that she would use legal means to safeguard her legitimate rights and interests.
Stevie hoang looked at the real estate license spread out on the tea table without saying a word.
In a family, a husband's attitude towards his wife can often determine his attitude towards his wife.
After being supported by stevie hoang's mother's unruly behavior, Xiao Min's position in the eyes of her mother-in-law plummeted. Because the mother-in-law knows that her son still cares about herself and her son's heart is still defending his family, she has the confidence to bully her daughter-in-law.
When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are in conflict, men's attitudes and positions are very important. Even if he doesn't express his opinion and just keeps silent, the message he sends will show that his love for his wife is not so deep and her is not so important in his heart.
A family, the relationship between husband and wife is stable, and the marriage will be stable. When a man becomes a family, he must maintain his own small family. You should defend your wife in big and small matters. Even if your wife is wrong, you can yell and scold how to close the door, but you must give your wife face in front of others.
You know, the contradiction between yourself and your mother is easy to solve, but the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to solve. The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is small, and the family is restless; The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law ruined marriage and family.
The simplest and rudest way is to learn from Du Jiang, so that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can meet as little as possible, and the troubles of life will be halved.