The sublimation of psychological age is actually a revolution of inner growth.
Taking life as a competition will lead to everyone being an opponent. If we regard life as a mileage and have the same destination, we can grow together, and the journey of life will be more open-minded and easier to reach the destination. Even if other people don't have the same destination as us, we can respect each other and enjoy our life journey.
Life is an eternal journey of learning, progress and love. In this course, with the partners who have the same destination, * * * enjoys learning and progress, loves each other, loves each other and loves the world. Those who regard life as a competition only know how to compete, while those who regard life as a course already know how to cooperate. Those who regard life as a competition pursue strength and success, while those who regard life as a course pursue love and happiness. These are two completely different quality of life.
The biggest feature is to say "yes" to authority, and judge the world according to the standard of authority in your mind, not according to the matter itself. The world view is easy to solidify.
"Good boy" grew up in a loving family environment, and its main characteristics are kindness, simplicity, filial piety, obedience and dependence. Growing up in a loveless family environment can easily become a "burden" for others. I have no idea, no pursuit, and it doesn't matter. I have no ambition for my career and life. I am content with the status quo, and it is far-fetched to deal with things. I always feel that I am not qualified enough and there is no need to pursue it. I feel that as long as I am a weak person, happiness and achievement have nothing to do with myself.
People of psychological age in childhood tend to obey and follow the requirements and instructions of authority. A "good boy" shows more patience and compromise to the powerful external force that is inconsistent with the authoritative viewpoint, while a person who becomes a "burden" shows evasion, helplessness, complaint and numbness.
Facing is the first step to solve the problem.
People who escape face neither themselves nor things; The accuser, though facing things, did not face himself.
Essentials: two MINUS one. 1, do subtraction first, subtract the judgment of right and wrong, and return to the matter itself without making judgment of right and wrong; At the same time, subtract the emotional factors mixed in it and return to rationality itself, not driven by emotion. 2, do addition, "partial listening is dark, partial listening is bright", in addition to the parties themselves, from other relevant personnel to do a more comprehensive understanding. In addition to the present itself, extend the timeline and pay attention to the related past and future. In this way, we can get in touch with the truth. Without the truth, there is no fundamental solution to the problem.
Accept it: After the problem happens, many people find it hard to accept such disappointing and unexpected consequences, but life is a series of ups and downs, and gains and losses are common. We can't be in good times forever. Even if you encounter adversity, you can accept it bravely and wisely.
The difference between forbearance and acceptance: people who endured at that time were unhappy, and even formed a backlog of emotions, which may cause a devastating full-scale outbreak when they could not bear it; Acceptance is not like this. I am calm inside, I am active rather than forced. Not only will you not accumulate emotions, but you can also handle problems with peace of mind.
Seeing the goodness of others can warm your heart, and when your heart is warm, you will be happy. On the other hand, only seeing other people's "bad" will inevitably make you chilling. A cold heart cannot have happiness.
Things are never difficult, what is difficult is emotions.
The past has passed, and the good side has left us with beautiful memories, which will remain in our hearts forever. On the other hand, it has left us with profound experience and integrated our ability and wisdom. "Good" and "bad" have become the nourishment in our life. Loss is gain, it is a kind of pain and happiness. Because we lose our empty hands, we can win new happiness.
On the road of life, most of us should thank our relatives, our friends and all those who have helped us. However, some people will thank their opponents, even enemies. When the psychological age is mature, we realize that the so-called "opponents" and "enemies" have been helping us grow and progress in other ways. It is because of their existence and dedication that our growth and progress can be realized, and we sincerely thank them.
Even "opponents" and "enemies" can be thanked. What can't we let go? !
"I complained that I had no shoes to wear every day until one day I saw a man without feet." We try to ease our present pain with the greater pain of others. At that time, I was a little more cheerful, but once I met other problems, the pain would come out of my heart. Through these three parts, we find that these things are the nourishment of life in the coat of "pain". After peeling off this coat, it actually shows the direction and method of our growth. When we absorbed these nutrients and completed our growth, these "pains" also completed their mission, so now we can let go. The reason why I couldn't put it down before was because the nutrients in it had not been absorbed by us.
The five-step method to get rid of ideological dilemma is a very effective tool and method to deal with major difficulties and specific problems.
The all-round growth of everyone's psychological age is bound to go through three important stages, namely, the dependence of childhood and the interdependence of adolescence and adulthood.
No one can bear the life of two people.
The core word of dependency period is "you". This is "you" in a broad sense, referring to everything outside. All the happiness of a person depends on the outside world, and he can never take care of his own happiness independently.
The core word in the period of independence was "I". I am independent, I choose, I am responsible for myself, and my happiness is my decision. I am the one who decides whether I am happy or not. No one or anything can make me unhappy without my permission. No one can take away my happiness. It doesn't mean that everyone outside will have my will for everything. I just don't depend on them anymore. I can't prevent floods, but I can learn to build ships. I am no longer a prisoner of the external environment, and I am truly free.
The core word of interdependence is "we"! This is the third most extreme stage. From the perspective of "we", we have an infinite world and infinite possibilities. As we all know, people are group animals. After all, a person's strength is limited. We need to complement each other. There is only one person's happiness after all, and the happiness of all people is the greatest happiness. The playground became a happy ocean, and the team won, which brought the greatest satisfaction. This is the result of interdependence and a more meaningful happiness! Mencius revealed this truth thousands of years ago. There is a classic question and answer in Wang Xia by Mencius and Hui Liang-who is happy when you are alone or with others? Yue: "If you are not there." He also asked, "Who is happier having fun with fewer people or having fun with more people? "yue:" if you don't follow the crowd. "
The first step of psychological age growth in childhood is from dependence to independence.