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Although internationalization has become a trend now, there is still a big gap between transnational cultures. Therefore, the sample of this paper is yellow race, Asian male, belonging to China area. Based on personal preference, it only involves heterosexual content, but in view of cultural similarity and the principle of equality between men and women, although there may be some differences, this article is also applicable to women and homosexuals with the same Asian cultural foundation.
First, the origin and definition of playboy
The word "playboy" can be broken down into two words: playboy and playboy. Childe originally refers to the children of aristocratic bureaucrats, and later refers to spoiled young people. This is generally tight, so I won't explain it. As for huahua, it is formed by overlapping the word "flower". Hua, written by Kangxi dictionary, Shuowen is glorious. It can be seen that this "playboy" must be a rich man. However, the word "playboy" was rare in ancient times. It was not until the Qing Dynasty that it gradually became slang. There is a saying in the sixth episode of He Dian by Zhang Nanzhuang in Qing Dynasty, "The living dead let him know that he is an official playboy." Qing Wenkang's "Biography of Heroes of Children" also said in the thirty-fourth chapter, "It is also because of his little book poison that he learned to eat, drink, gamble and become a playboy." Qing Qu Hao said in "Popular Edition Volume I Slant Dialogue", "Mr. Nice guy, playboy." According to my research, the word playboy is more from the world of flowers. "Hua Yan Jing" said: Buddhists give birth to five-color lotus, one flower is a world, and one leaf is a Buddha. Proverbs have evolved into the word "world of flowers and flowers", which generally refers to those prosperous or fun places. People who frequented these places were later called "playboys".
The definition of playboy in Modern Idiom Dictionary and Modern Chinese Dictionary is: a well-dressed rich boy who has nothing to do but eat, drink and have fun all day. Its essence is actually two: one is rich and the other is idle. Literally, this explanation is correct, but from the perspective of modern people, this explanation is rather outdated.
Hugh Humphrey of the United States founded the famous Playboy magazine in the autumn of 1953, and it has been half a century since then. Cheng Xiaohong, a special contributor to Newsweek from June 5, 2003 to October, 2003, asked how to define a magazine, and he said, "Playboy is a magazine that advocates lifestyle." There is nothing wrong. Playboy magazine is a magazine advocating lifestyle. Playboy himself is a person who advocates a lifestyle.
This lifestyle will be based on the following principles: fun and taste. That is, it is independent from the secular world and has the worldly wisdom. You can praise the opposite sex and appreciate the same sex. That is, as the saying goes: romantic but not obscene, lewd but not lewd. If you want to make an analogy, you would rather be Chu Liuxiang than Wei Xiaobao.
Second, the accomplishment of playboy.
In fact, when Chu Liuxiang and Wei Xiaobao are put together, we can still find something in common. That is: rich. Being rich does not necessarily mean success, but it is definitely one of the criteria for success. Just for a person, without money, he will enjoy much less capital. But just having money doesn't necessarily make you a playboy.
This involves all aspects of training based on the above principles.
1, the cultivation of the first principle
A person's lifelong interest is actually a matter of attitude. In aesthetic terms, interest is "a pursuit of human spiritual life, a perception of the joy of life, and a self-sufficient aesthetic feeling". To put it bluntly, it refers to this person's hobbies. The cultivation of hobbies does not happen overnight, and there is no way to circle a finer scope for reference. But we can make a simple summary.
A, the most common hobby in life. For example: singing, dancing, calligraphy, piano, cooking and so on. Of course, if you are born tone deaf or have a disabled leg, there is nothing you can do, but you can't be ignorant. You don't have to leave in person, but even if you do, you should make people think you are an expert.
B, the latest information in various frontier fields. For example: technology, fashion, performing arts, art and so on. This aspect not only reflects a person's connotation, but also reflects a person's accomplishment. If you don't understand this, even if you are a playboy, you are the lowest.
C. various knowledge about * *. For example: the mystery of the human body, the sutra of the plain woman, the mystery of the jade house, Qiqi Qiqi, and so on. Just kidding, playboy doesn't understand these things, so he might as well become a monk.
D, as far as you know, there should be no bad interest. For example: drugs, "sunflower collection", excessive smoking or drinking, and so on. This knowledge allows you to avoid and help others in your later life, not to immerse yourself in it.
Life is always an ordinary and long-term story, boring and boring. Can find attractive fun in those trivial things. Such people will succeed not only in life, but also in work. If you can succeed, you have the qualities to be a playboy. But everything has its limits. You have fun and taste. Just having fun and having no taste is like liking only women and having no choice. At best, you are just a pervert or a rogue. A famous writer, Half Frog, once said, "... In fact, prostitutes can be divided into three or six categories, including top-grade prostitutes and inferior prostitutes. ..... The so-called "down nine", that is to say, willy-nilly, I want to fuck a slightly more beautiful woman. (2)-This shows the importance of taste. The difference between interest and taste is like a person's foundation, just like his dominant interest. Interesting proves that this person has potential. But only with taste can we prove that this person is developed. Therefore, taste is the key factor to determine the level of status.
Why is the taste so critical? This is determined by the core values of a playboy. As playboys, they have seen through the whole world. Heaven and earth can't last long, what about people? Since everyone can only rush by in this world, life should be more colorful. Peter mayle said in "About Taste": "I believe that most of us are born with a hidden tendency to spend money." This shows that most people have the potential to become a playboy, but in the end they really do very little. Because taste is an art, and art is different from science. It's not about how hard you work and how far you can reach. This needs to be cultivated from an early age.
Let's see what the top grade should look like in the eyes of half a frog. "Top grade hooligans are of noble birth. They are not descendants of any soldier, but descendants of any celebrity; They are handsome and talented. A folding fan, dressed in white, standing in the wind and smiling is enough to detonate the hearts of countless lovestruck girls. The biggest difference between them and inferior thieves is that these thieves accept their hearts first and then flowers. This kind of hooligan belongs to the "Red Five Category" because of his excellent conditions, decent family background and bright background. They don't need to be strong at all, as long as they hook their fingers and wink provocatively, countless beautiful women will flock to their arms immediately. These days, romance dramas such as Romance of the West Chamber and Peony Pavilion are flooding, which also makes these hooligans particularly handy in picking flowers and doing things. They often just need to hold girls' hands and watch a Garden of Wandering Sperm, so as to lower their IQ and improve their EQ, and these girls who are in spring will willingly sleep with them and "never regret it" until they "relax". This kind of hooligans, because of their superb means and chivalrous skins, will not be believed even if they admit to being hooligans themselves. Even if someone makes mistakes by means, they will only be accused by Chen Shimei and scolded by people pointing at their spine. Such hooligans are the most comfortable and have a high safety factor. There is absolutely no need to be afraid. It's like Jiang Taigong sitting on the Diaoyutai and enjoying himself in bed at home. Chu Liuxiang and Lu Xiaofeng are such top thieves. Although they picked countless flowers and no one shouted, they also bore the reputation of romantic genius. "I'm talking about ancient martial arts here, but in real life, it really makes no difference.
2, the cultivation of the second principle
"A seed needs to take root, sprout and grow, and it can grow into a towering tree after numerous storms. The growth of a rogue has to go through many difficult processes. " As a playboy, the cultivation of the second principle is the most difficult. Because you live in this world, it is inevitable that you will not be influenced by the secular. To eliminate this influence, we need to instill it from an early age. According to the research of anthropologists and psychologists, 0- 13 years old is the golden age for establishing the outlook on life. Miss this period of time, the outlook on life has taken shape, and it is difficult to have another chance to turn over. By the way, if you are over 13 years old and see this, I advise you not to watch it any more. It's getting late. It's already late. Unless you want to train your child to be a playboy, even if you follow these principles, it is difficult to really become a playboy.
Heraclitus said, "A person's character is his destiny." As a playboy, I am destined to be a successful person, a person walking at the peak and a lonely person. Such people are difficult for ordinary people to understand. He always has some advanced consciousness and some shocking behaviors. Just as Nietzsche complained that he was born a hundred years earlier, so will Playboy. Such people are not bound by moral laws, and they understand that those are just tools used by the ruling class to rule. They will be responsible for their actions and will not care about secular views.
I can give the simplest example, such as incest. Countless TV dramas take this plot as a selling point, but how many lovers finally get married? Recommend the Korean film old boys (the jury prize of the 57th Cannes Film Festival). Playboy will definitely make a choice like the hero in the film, but he will never have such troublesome ideological fluctuations. Because he knew that Fuxi and Nu Wa were brother and sister in China mythology, and in Genesis of the Old Testament, Abraham married his sister, even Adam's wife Eve, made of his ribs, so they were flesh and blood. Human beings do not allow incest, only from a physiological point of view, not because of moral factors. Knowing this, playboy will never be bound by morality again, but will only respect his feelings. Because technology is so advanced, the health problems of the next generation can be detected as early as the early pregnancy, rather than waiting until after birth. The problem is that many people are bound by education since childhood and care too much about moral concepts to understand this. In fact, if you really care so much about morality, there would not be such an outstanding emperor as Kangxi Qianlong, because they are all products of incest.
There is good in this world because there is evil. There is beauty because there is no beauty. There is morality because there is immorality. Therefore, when a playboy thinks about a problem, he won't take it too absolutely. This is why playboy must be cultivated from an early age to get rid of the secular influence. The so-called "lonely, independent and unchanged", Lao Tzu is talking about playboy.
Just being independent from the secular does not mean being independent from the secular. Because playboy is not for people to understand, but for others to see. Therefore, he must be proficient in human accidents, and he will win the respect of others with his extensive hobbies and noble taste. The second reason why a playboy must be proficient in human affairs is that he is a childe rather than a hooligan. Childe will only do two of a kind's thing, not bully the bow. The third reason is that life always has ups and downs, and playboy is no exception. But when you laugh, the whole world laughs with you. When you cry, you are the only one in the world who cries. So you must see through human feelings and experience accidents. Just like the world's most famous playboy 007, why is 007' s movie so popular? Not because he is too handsome, but of course he does have this advantage. But that's not why he is popular. He is very popular because he can travel around the world aboveboard as a famous spy. No one arrested him for that name. What a busy day!
However, it is not easy to master man-made accidents. You must do the following:
First, open-minded. Only by being open-minded can you still be tolerant, peaceful and harmonious when others don't understand you. Only by being open-minded can we be optimistic and stable forever. Open-mindedness is an attitude towards life and a philosophy of life. For example, when Su Dongpo was demoted, he also wrote "The River of No Return, a Romantic Man through the ages." Such a famous sentence is a kind of spirit.
B. sensitive. It is difficult for an insensitive person to understand the mind of the opposite sex, let alone become a playboy. The secret song between Zhang Sheng and Miss Yingying is also because Yingying returned to the song "Gui Lan has been lonely for a long time and has nothing to do; Those who are expected to sing deserve sympathy. "My little poem. If an insensitive person, I'm afraid I can't fulfill the West Chamber.
C. self-confidence If a person has no other advantages, I'm afraid only self-confidence can make him feel a little proud. Confidence can also be arrogance. But you can't do anything without self-confidence. When the young hero in Gu Long's works is down and out, even if he dresses like a beggar, his face looks like a prince. The motivation of not losing to anyone is the capital of his re-emergence. An old man told a young man, "There are only six words in life. Don't be afraid in the first half and don't regret in the second half. " This mantra of "don't be afraid" should always be kept in mind.
D, other true meaning of life. People can't confine themselves to death all their lives, so all the true meaning can be borrowed, but only from you, because you have to live by yourself, and no one can really help you.
If you master these, maybe you will have the value of training.
3. The cultivation of the third principle
I don't know about your sexual orientation, but you certainly shouldn't appreciate one gender and reject another. In that case, you must have psychological problems. A person with psychological problems can only become a superficial playboy, not a real playboy. Because a playboy, his love for the world is from the heart, whether it is flowers or trees, he will treat children indiscriminately, although this love may not necessarily be sublimated to the physical level. So while grasping love, give consideration to friendship. When you are bohemian, you won't break your lover's heart. When feelings arrive, they will naturally make a difference. When time goes by, we will always be best friends. The third principle is the most difficult to grasp, but there are still some rules to follow.
A, treat sex correctly. In fact, sex is a part of normal natural life (in Hugh Humphrey's words), and you don't have to pursue it deliberately, let alone avoid it. A very important reason for becoming a playboy is to win the most pleasant feelings emotionally and emotionally. It's like two ends of a balance, without which you are not a qualified playboy.
B. Grasp the principle of fraternity. If you are single-minded, I suggest you not read this article. I don't think your practice is bad, but I'm afraid you will unconsciously agree with me. Because the world has developed to this day, too fast-paced and complicated information has made people's communication an accessory to life. Everyone has his own opinion, and no one will really love others. The purest and most sincere emotion is crushed in the time when the wheel rolls forward. Have you ever hurt your lover or friend forever because you can't let go of some persistent persistence? Have you ever had an irretrievable experience because you are irrational and lack of thinking? The world lacks love, so we need a playboy spirit to be considerate, care and love. We will try our best to give the love we can to those who can, just like Baoyu in a dream of red mansions.
C, learn to be ambiguous. The relationship between people can only be felt, not measured by a ruler. So while giving love, we should learn to be ambiguous. Ambiguity is a kind of buffer and protection. For you, at this stage, you will know whether you can continue. For the other party, at this stage, it is a process of thinking and transformation. Ambiguity exists not only in the early days of your acquaintance, but also for a long time after you have had intimate relationship. Because love is too short and life is too long, keep a little ambiguous, and you can still be warm without love. Otherwise, it may be cruel. Playboy should enjoy life, so he won't let cruel things happen. He should be the kind of person who will throw petals into the water even if the flowers are broken.
4. Some supplements
As far as cultivating playboy is concerned, the first principle is the foundation, the second principle is the core, and the third principle is the concrete operation. Everything must lay the foundation, but to do a good job, we must do a good job in the core. Therefore, only the first principle, such a person will be superficial, empty in the name of playboy, but without the connotation of playboy. This is also the most common mistake people make. Only the second principle, such a person may be a philosopher, may be a very successful person, but will certainly live very tired. Therefore, to be a playboy and enjoy life happily, you must have these three principles. The third principle involves concrete practice, because this paper focuses on theoretical discussion, so only a few laws are given, and no cases are given. Interested friends can refer to Chu Liuxiang (Gu Long's works), Legend of the Blade Master (Huang Yi's works), Jiangshan is so arrogant (clay figurine's works) and other related professional works.
In a word, if you really want to be a playboy, you have to work harder than others. This is the price of success.