When I was a child, if there were guests at home, I would quietly hide in my room. There was silence in the living room, so I quietly poked my head out and asked, "Has the guest left?"
I met an acquaintance on the road and ran away. Sometimes when I am dragged out by force, I scream and hide behind my parents.
I will never raise my hand to answer questions when I go to kindergarten or elementary school. If you are unfortunately named, you have to bite the bullet and answer in a low voice.
In middle schools and universities, if you have to speak in public, you will be anxious for a long time in advance.
After work, in addition to necessary and needed social activities, I also want to be alone on weekends and holidays.
When it comes to being alone, I often find pleasure in it. I like the feeling of retreating into the crowd and quietly immersed in my own world.
When elders talk about me, they will always be generous with regrets. They often say, "This child is good at everything, but he is too introverted!" " I have been shy since I was a child. What can I do when I grow up? "
Many people think that people who don't like to talk are introverted and shy, and introverts are not good at dealing with people. This is actually a big misunderstanding.
When I grew up, I observed many introverts around me, read many biographies and studied psychology. Only then did I find that introversion really doesn't mean shyness.
Shyness is a kind of social anxiety, not determined by personality, but because we lack confidence in some strange social situations.
People who care too much about what others think of themselves are shy, not just introverts.
Introverts actually have strong social skills.
There are many great speakers who are actually introverted, such as franklin roosevelt, Gandhi, Lincoln, Bill Gates and Jobs.
Modern psychologists have found that introverts are more sensitive to external stimuli, and communication activities will make them consume a lot of energy and make them feel tired.
Extroverts need to socialize to get energy, while introverts need to be alone to get energy.
Introverts, quiet and lonely, don't run away from anything. They just want to recharge their batteries and start over.
Therefore, introverts do not have social skills, but choose not to participate in social activities independently, because being alone will give them greater pleasure.
Wu Zhihong, a famous psychological counselor, said that he was an introvert since he was a child. Once upon a time, he was also troubled by his introversion.
When he was in college, he felt that people with extroversion, high emotional intelligence and talking were more popular at school. So he made up his mind to change his introverted personality.
Wu Zhihong spent nearly five years, forcing himself to deal with others, learning the art of communication, telling jokes and deliberately becoming humorous.
As a result, he really looks more "outgoing". There are more and more friends around him and the opposite sex is getting better and better.
Wu Zhihong said that his extroversion and humor only lasted for four or five months. Later, he felt too tired and didn't feel like himself, so he changed again.
People usually think that introverts are bad at words and are always forgotten.
Indeed, introverts tend to be withdrawn, but most introverts have no problem communicating in their daily lives and work. Besides, speaking, communicating and speaking are all skills that can be exercised.
Bernard Shaw, a famous writer, speaker and politician, was very introverted when he was young. He is afraid of speaking in public.
Bernard Shaw was invited to give a speech at an academic seminar. He made a speech very nervously and clumsily, which was laughed at by everyone and he was ashamed of himself.
However, Bernard Shaw never gave up. He took every opportunity to make crazy speech exercises in public places such as squares, parks and stations. After countless times of practice, Bernard Shaw finally became an orator.
Introverts don't like being bored, but they don't like spending too much energy on superficial or tasteless social activities.
Zhou said: "I am naturally unsociable, because in social situations, either others think I am boring or I think others are boring." I am afraid to say mediocre words, which makes me silent. "
Introverts value the quality of conversation more than the quantity.
Many times, they don't like to talk, but they don't like to talk nonsense without quality.
A writer said in an interview that when he was a child, his academic performance was poor, his personality was timid and introverted, and he didn't play with his peers very much. Therefore, his whole childhood was lonely.
But he reads widely and finds a lot of pleasure in books.
Every time he is criticized, he finds a quiet place to read.
Reading made him find that the setbacks he encountered were nothing, because the protagonists in the book often encountered greater difficulties, but they all survived.
So he can underestimate his experience and tell himself that there is nothing wrong with it. So, he returned to his own world and found the joy of life.
He found that when he retreated to his spiritual world, he always felt clearer and happier.
This has gradually become a way of life for him.
When he grew up, he studied literature from the inner world to echo the outer world by preaching the inner wisdom of life. From the standpoint of nature, he practiced the mission of nature and found the intersection with the world.
He said that reading became his pillar and brought him a whole new world. Turn a corner, come back here, and everything can be solved.
Instead of taking a defensive stance to face the changing world, he retreated from the passive spirit and took the initiative to manage his inner self.
When people see introverts, they often feel depressed and seem unhappy.
Because introverts always exist in a calm and silent way, they are easily understood as unhappy.
In fact, they just like to enjoy another form of happiness.
They turn over books on sunny days and write down their feelings.
They drink coffee on rainy days and think about the meaning of life.
They sat by the window alone on a snowy day, exploring the future world.
Nobel, a Swedish chemist, was very introverted from an early age. However, introverted, he has the perseverance and persistence that many people lack.
Throughout his life, he has always maintained a keen interest in the study of explosives. Even if my brother had an explosion accident because of the explosive he invented, he was not intimidated by it and gave up his dream of explosive research.
In the end, he finally exerted inestimable influence in his own field and gained great wealth by virtue of the advantages given to him by his introverted personality.
Besides Nobel, many famous geniuses, such as Newton, Einstein, Madame Curie, Leonardo da Vinci, Putin and Mandela, are introverted.
People often think that introverts are unlikely to succeed.
Susan Kane, the author of Quiet: The Competitiveness of Introverts, wrote after studying a large number of introverts:
"Introverts are naturally good at focusing on the inner spiritual world, which gives them superb insight and understanding. They are good at sorting out and absorbing external information and turning it into their own content instead of simply accepting or denying it. "
There was a little boy who was abandoned by his mother at birth. When he was 3 years old, he tried to play practical jokes. He never listens to the teacher in class, never finishes his homework, contradicts the teacher and is always kicked out of the classroom. He is withdrawn and has no friends. He is often regarded as a "monster".
This boy is Steve Jobs, a later American silicon valley legend figure. He is one of the co-founders of Apple.
There is an introvert who seldom makes public speeches when he first runs the company. He is an e-mail fanatic, and the implementation and promotion of business ideas depend on continuous e-mail.
This man is Ma, a wizard who built Tencent Empire into a world-class enterprise.
Luo Yonghao said: "Extroverts may control the world, but introverts will create it."
In fact, contrary to the general secular prejudice, research shows that introverts are no worse than extroverts in their careers except for some sales positions.
On the contrary, in some jobs that require creativity and innovation, introverts will have an advantage.
Jung, a famous psychologist, formally put forward the concepts of extroverts and introverts in psychological typology.
Jung believes that the difference between these two characteristics lies in the direction in which psychological energy points.
Extroverts pay attention to external objective things when they know the world. They tend to gain energy through group communication and get along with the outside world easily.
Introverts focus on their inner feelings when they know the world. They tend to get energy by being alone, and are used to projecting their inner feelings and thoughts into the external environment.
However, introversion and extroversion are not absolute.
It's not that an introverted person has no extroverted elements at all, nor that an extroverted person can't settle down at all. Everyone actually has introverted and extroverted personalities, but at some point a certain personality will dominate.
Many times, it will gradually change with people's growth and rich experience. In the end, most of them will go to the middle.
There is no difference between introversion and extroversion.
This is an era in which the world is biased against the personality of introverts, and it is also an era in which we need to correct the wrong classification of "personality".
This society needs both extroverts and introverts. Both are equally wonderful.
In fact, Jung, who is very successful in his major, is an introverted person and has been focusing on his own world.
As Nabokov said: "Everyone is more or less experiencing the struggle of two forces: the desire to be alone and the impulse to go out. Introversion means being interested in your inner active thinking and fantasy; There is also extroversion, and I am interested in people outside and what I can see. "
However, introverts have more power to turn inward.
When you read Harry Potter, enjoy Sunflower and listen to Nocturne, have you ever thought that Rowling, Van Gogh and Beethoven, who created them, are introverts?
Have you ever found that you from the introverted planet are not only no problem, but also a great constraint!
In fact, the secret of life is to put yourself in the right spotlight.
If you ever worry about being an introvert, don't be depressed, and explore your talents quickly.
The only challenge you face is to endure loneliness and bring your major to the extreme in the field you like and are good at.
Just like Jay Chou sang "A serious man is the most beautiful". This sentence also applies to women.
When you are extremely focused and charming, everyone will be attracted by your focus, strength and achievements, regardless of your personality.
A truly attractive person has nothing to do with introversion and extroversion, but only with his quality and attitude.
Yes, you don't need to change your personality, but you need to recognize yourself.
You can still learn from the strengths of others, including the strengths of extroverts, and make yourself better and better.
The world is diverse and everyone is unique. Each of us has our own favorite lifestyle, and introverts are just another kind of existence different from extroverts, that's all.
So, why do you want to cater to social prejudice, force yourself to come out of your inner world, force yourself to smile at some people and force yourself to become another person?
Do what you like, do meaningful things, study hard, think deeply and take active actions. For introverts, this is the right way to open life.
Because, the source of happiness, the secret of happiness and the meaning of life are all "being yourself"!
Because, introverted, you have your own light and unlimited scenery!