"32 years old or single, I became a freak in the eyes of people around me."
"Is there something wrong with her body? If others don't like her, she can't get married? "
"Is she infertile, so falling in love will fail?"
"She is 32 years old and so picky that she will definitely not get married."
"A girl like her, no one wants to look at it in the marriage and love market."
When such a discussion was nailed to chenchen (a pseudonym)' s heart, she felt that her dignity was swept away; It's not easy to be disrespected, pointed at from behind and poked in the spine.
However, what saddens chenchen most is that even her parents speak ill of her.
Chenchen is the eldest in the family, with 1 younger brother and a younger sister. A few years ago, my brothers and sisters got married.
Now she is 32 years old and still single.
Chenchen had two love experiences, the first time in college, and broke up when she graduated; The second time was a boy I met on a blind date after attending work.
That love left the deepest impression on chenchen and also brought her the greatest harm.
When it was about to talk about marriage, chenchen was betrayed and found her boyfriend's infidelity. Chenchen didn't give him any chance to stay and chose to break up.
In chenchen's mind, she feels that two people can quarrel together, have contradictions, and tolerate each other's absurdity and unreasonable troubles; But what she can't accept is betrayal. Betrayal in feelings is her last bottom line and can't be forgiven.
Since then, chenchen has been afraid of getting married and has no expectations for love.
In addition, those who are married around her are not very happy in marriage; Even her sister's marriage is a chicken feather.
The experience of these people strengthened chenchen's inner thoughts.
She wouldn't get married if she didn't meet a boy who really attracted her, a boy who made her desperate.
At first, her parents would urge her to go on a blind date. But now parents' attitude towards chenchen is cold and indifferent.
In order to alleviate the contradiction with his family, chenchen rented a house outside and lived alone; She keeps a cat and buys a car to walk instead of walking. Next, chenchen plans to buy a small house of his own.
She has made a plan not to get married in this life, and she is ready to marry the person she loves at any time; Even though, in the eyes of people around her, she is called a "freak".
Chenchen doesn't care about this. She wants to live a satisfactory life, not make do with it.
I asked chenchen: Do you feel anxious when you are 32 years old and single?
Chenchen said: I am anxious, too. I feel anxious at the thought of getting married, having children and thinking about my future. But anxiety is short-lived, and my goal is clear. While saving money to buy a house, I am also saving money for my own pension.
-02
What are the reasons behind older unmarried women?
First, it is better to be short of than to be extravagant. As time goes by in persistence, we are no longer young.
I have a girlfriend beside me, and it will be her 30th birthday in a few minutes.
However, her state is very good, and her attitude towards love is still illusory, which can also be said to be full of expectations.
She firmly believes that she can meet someone she likes and like her; She has an average of six blind dates a year, but none of them make her feel comfortable; Some people refuse him, but more are the boys she refuses to date.
In her eyes, the most important foundation of feelings is to have the same topic, the same goals and preferences; However, how can there be so many satisfactory things and how can you meet a just right person by coincidence?
In this kind of waiting and rejection, year after year passed, and she was no longer young, and gradually joined the group of "older unmarried".
In fact, many older single women have similar ideas; It is better to wait than to make do.
Secondly, her past emotional experience has brought her unforgettable psychological trauma.
Just like the female reader chenchen mentioned above, she didn't expect marriage in the fear of marriage because she was betrayed in her last emotional experience.
People's hearts are very sensitive to painful memories; Just like when you are lovelorn, as long as you hear the name of your predecessor or something related to your predecessor, your heart becomes sensitive and you begin to feel sad; Obviously, you are happy. When you hear your ex's name, you get lost in an instant.
Because I failed, I was afraid and not confident enough in the face of marriage.
Third: a determined unmarried person.
There are also some older unmarried women who choose to be single because they never intend to get married.
I live a good life alone, carefree and unrestrained; They tend to put more energy into their lives and work, strive to make money, and plan for the future of themselves and their parents.
See a set of data on the Internet:
In 2020-202 1 year, women's consumption concept and investment concept will surpass men's; From another perspective, women have begun to make more arrangements in self-awareness and planning for the future.
They must prove to themselves that if a man can do something, so can she. They are not vases, but beautiful and capable vases.
-03
Isn't it different not to get married when you are old?
Mr Cai Lan once said:
"Don't get married, don't get married. Being married doesn't mean it's perfect. What is left and what is not left? The most important thing is to live happily. It doesn't matter whether a person lives happily or not. "
Everyone has different attitudes towards love and marriage. It is because of this diversity that we show our tolerance.
What's more, whether others get married or not has nothing to do with us; They have their own persistence and ideas, and we also have our own attitudes towards marriage and love.
Don't disturb each other, don't slander each other, this is the best respect for others.
In fact, for parents, if their children really resist marriage, don't be reluctant; Reluctance to children, children will resist, parents will be angry, which is not good for both sides.
Accept his idea that he may not want to get married this year, but he suddenly wants to get married when he meets someone he really likes next year.
We live in the best times. Nobody asked you to get married, and nobody asked you not to get married.
You can do what you like, stick to your own ideas and respect your heart; But you have to bear the consequences of every decision you make.
Marriage is a lifetime thing. Some people are unwilling to settle, while others are willing to make changes in their marriage.