But you don't have to worry,
Because the best way to overcome anxiety,
Is to do things that make you anxious.
Lucy, after 70. I fell in love with my ex-husband for six years and got married for ten years. 36-year-old, her husband cheated and divorced in marriage. At the age of 42, I met George in Belgium and started a transnational marriage.
0 1
Meet a man, fall in love once, and get married. Where do you know what is right for you? About the same age, knowing the roots and the bottom, the economy is ok. Most of the feelings in that era were so natural.
When two people are together, the one who makes rapid progress will always get rid of the one who stands still. This sentence is inherently toxic. It sounds like an excuse made by one side. I don't just stand still when I run fast. Will those who run slower than me get rid of me for a long time?
After getting married, Lucy's husband resigned from his former unit and started a business in Beijing, taking away two female men. Lucy is also proud to call him "Manager Su", which is a bit ridiculous.
Compared with President Su, Lucy, who works in the community, feels that her career is predictable, boring, repetitive and boring, and her regular pension is also very low when she reaches the age.
Lucy also wants to make a breakthrough. She said to President Su, "Do you think I should change my job?"
Manager Su said, "Well, we can probably consider you as a cleaner in our company!" " Lucy's heart is going to break.
This is not a question of rapid progress, but a question of standing still. It's the one in the back who wants to speed up and run fast. He doesn't like the handle.
When Lucy wanted to improve, President Su did not encourage her, but buried her and solidified into a traditional housewife.
Lucy said that Sue always attacked her for being "stupid" in front of her. When the other half thinks you are bad, sometimes it's not that you are really bad, maybe it's just that his heart is no longer with you.
Lucy gradually learned from her neighbors that there was another woman. In the end, Mr. Su accidentally left it on his mobile phone at home, saw more than 1000 ambiguous short messages exchanged frequently, and clearly realized that their marriage had existed in name only. And that woman is none other than one of the two women that Sue often brings to Beijing.
Finally, they decided to divorce. Manager Su said that his personality is not harmonious. Lucy said, Mr. Su, you can either write because I have no children, my feelings are broken and divorced; Or write about your marriage cheating, emotional breakdown, divorce. I don't say anything about signing a contract, because it is a fact.
Manager Su, there is silence. He didn't expect the silly woman in his mouth to look like a mirror. At the moment of divorce, the man cried. At critical moments, women are often more determined than men.
36 years old, the first half of my life. Lucy's marriage ended in breakdown; The work ended with resignation and began with entering the insurance industry.
02
Facing the unknown future, we are all full of fear. At this time, what we need most is a life mentor and a beacon to guide the direction. When we are adults, we learn again, which is not only the primitive accumulation of knowledge, but also the hope of obtaining a new mode of thinking.
And Lucy's thinking mode is that everything that happens is a good thing. Because of the divorce, she re-examined how to find a more suitable object. How to get happiness in the second half of your life?
Sadly, however, most women in China are in a state of self-abandonment. For example, after marriage, I feel that my task of finding a husband has been completed and I don't need to show it to anyone every day. Lack of management and behavioral constraints on their own image. There are also some women who, after the failure of marriage, were once depressed and felt that they were old and had no advantage, and gave up the idea of remarriage. I devote myself to raising children, and I will come back to support myself when the children are older.
Whether married or divorced, such a woman has no self. She never gives priority to pleasing herself in anything. She pinned her hopes and future on her husband or children. I have never thought about what kind of life I want and how to realize it.
Lucy also admits that many people will do this. On the one hand, as mentioned above, life lacks a mentor. It may be difficult for us to meet people who are particularly inspirational, successful and active around us. Even if there are, they are far away from us, and it is difficult to give their lives to get guidance. On the other hand, the whole society has accumulated negative energy and lacks effective positive guidance. Fortunately, Lucy feels that she has met some very intelligent people to help her grow up quickly.
Lucy thinks that she needs to support herself after being single and must be financially independent. So I joined the insurance industry with high risk and high return. In the past eight years, she has changed from a novice to a senior sales manager.
Life. She is eager to step into marriage again. All ages have the right to pursue love, and she hopes that someone will understand and love her in her lifetime.
03
We can use some working methods to find people.
Lucy said that China is still a realistic society. The advantage of female mate selection is inversely proportional to age; In addition, divorced people are more sensitive to property and children. After meeting several people and getting along well with each other, Lucy ushered in her 40 years old.
Can you believe that after the age of 30, time flies like a book, and before you know it, you're in fifth place.
She began to consider unconventional means:
1, TV blind date. As a program with high ratings, TV blind date will review the information of participants, reducing the risk of being cheated by guests; Millions of people watched it during the broadcast, and virtually made a soft advertisement for themselves. After the program is broadcast, they may receive intentional calls from many viewers. The only thing to consider is your own courage, and then you may be eaten by human flesh or subjected to cyber violence if you don't behave well.
Take the advantages and disadvantages of the work out and consider the above characteristics, short, wide and fast. Lucy, sign up now.
Lucy said that she also heard negative voices. Including girlfriends, they also throw cold water on it. Only people who are poor enough to get married will go to such programs, and middle-aged and elderly people will go up to find partners.
Lucy said that after so much experience, she no longer cares about other people's eyes. Others suggest listening and making your own decisions. In the eighth edition, Lucy's typhoon and performance left a deep impression on the host. Although she didn't succeed in this program in the end, she exercised herself and met a group of women who had the same experience.
2. International dating websites. Lucy said that many people don't believe in online dating, and that there are many online scammers. Actually, you can't blame many liars. You can only say that you don't have the ability to identify liars and give others a chance to cheat you. You can't stop eating just because you choke.
At this time, she took out her work attitude and made a work plan for herself. You must browse enough information about male members every day and send 8 letters on your own initiative every day. It was difficult to write English at first. She first wrote Chinese on the draft and then translated it into English. She spends three hours a day writing letters.
The month before, she also experienced a liar. Whenever someone asks her about money, she is very cautious. Somehow, in the second month, he met his current husband George. George has China complex, and his goal is to find a Chinese wife.
Lucy said that compared with China people, foreigners' values are simple. Love or not. Now George came to China for love. Every time George videos with his family, his family will ask him, what's up? Is your love going on?
George replied, Great!
In fact, after the divorce, it took Lucy five years to get married. She was positive and optimistic all the way. She said that the saddest thing about people is that they can't beat themselves.
PS: Lucy herself is thin and energetic. Sometimes the expression is very rich.
When I told her that I was collecting the material of the official WeChat account, she wrote it happily, hoping to convey more positive energy.