How to understand a person's pattern, that is, how to understand a person's pattern, how to understand a person's pattern, the highest pattern, has long been detached, "I don't care if I win or not", but because my vision and strength are in place, I will never lose.
How to understand a person's pattern 1 On understanding a person's pattern.
Introduction: On the eve of the Spring Festival, a good friend came back to Changsha to see me. We talked about the word "pattern" at dinner in the evening. Pattern? The human model? I have never heard this word mentioned before. Then he said that "pattern" is a word in China's traditional learning, and it is very important to communicate between people or to communicate with people's pattern. . . . . .
Pattern, the pattern of people, I am questioning, so I Baidu the word pattern. The following explanations about patterns are obtained: a) artistic or mechanical patterns or shapes; Format; Layout b) situation or situation c) describes people's measurement and mind. D) can refer to a range. Probably the above explanation. Only C has anything to do with people. It can be seen that the so-called pattern of people refers to the measurement and mind of people. But I think there are more than these, and there should be the following derivative meanings.
First of all, let me talk about my understanding of the literal meaning of people's pattern. People's pattern refers to people's measurement and mind. We usually say that a person is generous, and the prime minister can hold a boat in his stomach. In other words, this person's pattern is very large. But this is obviously not comprehensive. You can say his atmosphere, but you can't say his big pattern. In other words, people's generosity is only one aspect of reflecting people's pattern. You can't generalize by partiality.
Since we can't generalize, should there be a complete definition of human pattern? The answer is no! Because people's pattern is a developing thing, it develops constantly in the process of change. We know that man is a very complicated thing, and I also think that man should be the most complicated and uncontrollable thing in the universe we know. The reason why people are complicated should also be complicated in the pattern of people. People's patterns are accompanied by people's life. We often say that life is like a play. Life is like chess. Life is a kind of practice. I think the so-called practice, drama and chess are all human patterns. Here we can understand the pattern of human beings as the depth of human cultivation. I think the most important exercise mentioned here should be the cultivation of thinking. And I have always believed that people can go as far as their thoughts can go. There is also a subordinate relationship between human thought or thinking and fate. In other words, what kind of thinking leads to what kind of behavior, which is the behavior guided by consciousness; What kind of behavior has what kind of habits, that is to say, the quality of habits is formed by the accumulation of many behaviors; What kind of habits have what kind of personality, which is also produced by the leap from quantitative change to qualitative change; What kind of personality has what kind of fate. It can also be said that personality determines fate. We often say that someone lives a good life and likes to compare himself with others. After reading the subordinate relationship between thought and fate above, we also know that people are incomparable. Because the patterns between people are different. The pattern between people is not comparable. It can't be said that one person's pattern must be bigger than another's. After all, man is not a so-called god. Besides, there is no god in this world. This is also the limitation of people. But now I want to analyze a person's pattern. This man's pattern is very big and special, which is worth learning.
The people I want to talk about are Cao Cao and Cao Mengde in the Three Kingdoms period. Cao Cao believes that anyone who has seen the Three Kingdoms should know that he was an outstanding politician, strategist and writer during the Three Kingdoms period. The world calls it a traitor. Mr Yi Zhongtian called him a lovely adulterer. We know that historical figures generally have three images. 1) The historical image is the true image of the characters in history. 2) Literary images are the images of historical figures in novels. 3) Folk images are the images of historical figures in people's minds. What I'm talking about here is the first kind, which is the real pattern of Cao Cao in history. Because he is a lovely adulterer. We know that Cao Cao's character is very complicated. He may also be the most complicated person in the history of China. His complexity is like his whole body is covered with faces. We know that Cao Cao loves to laugh. His smiles include many kinds, including joking smiles, self-deprecating wry smiles, and even ironic smiles that want to kill people. Cao Cao is sincere and a man of temperament, which can be seen from his poems. But he is also treacherous and likes to kill people. For example, he killed the Lv Boshe family by mistake. In a word, Cao Cao's character is very complicated. Unifying so many aspects in one person is an atmosphere in itself and one of the manifestations of his big pattern. To study the pattern of Cao Cao, we must first study Cao Cao's way of life. Before talking about Cao Cao's way of being a man, I'd like to quote a poem by Cao Cao, which is called "A Short Song Line", which can also be called an unprecedented poem.
Calling for Song one after another, how many days do we have? For example, morning dew is much more difficult to go to Japan.
When you are healthy, you will never forget your troubles. Du Kang is the only one who can solve the problem.
Qingqing is your collar, YY is my miss. But for your sake, I've thought it over.
Yo yo Luming Literature, Wild Ping. I have a group of good guests, playing the piano and playing the piano.
As clear as the bright moon, when can I forget it? The troubles come from this and cannot be cut off.
The weirder, the more useless. Talk about the banquet and miss the old grace.
There are few stars on the moon, and blackbirds fly south. Turn around the tree three times, what branches can you rely on?
The mountain is never too high, and the sea is never too deep. The duke of Zhou vomited, and the world returned to the heart.
This poem was written before Battle of Red Cliffs. Through this poem, we can understand the life style of Cao Cao before Battle of Red Cliffs. Probably smart, sincere, casual and deep. I think Cao Cao's cleverness needs no explanation. Besides, Cao Cao is quite casual. As long as it is not in a formal occasion, he eats, dresses, lives and walks casually, and often jokes with people. His sincerity and randomness can be seen in his poems, so I won't list them here. Cao Cao's way of being a man is doomed to have an extraordinary way of employing people.
So what is Cao Cao's way of employing people? Eight words are insight into human nature and insight into people's hearts. It is really not easy for Cao Cao to do this. His way of employing people was formed at the height of thinking about the universe and philosophy of life. According to the statistics of historians, there were 102 counselors who followed Cao Cao all their lives. I will not list and study Cao Cao's skills of employing people here for the time being. Think about it, Cao Cao, as the boss of a military group, can "show his talents", which in itself is a great pattern of people. This is also worthy of our current enterprises, governments and organizations to learn and study. If the pattern is compared to a circle, then this big circle of Cao Cao must include all his talent circles. This is precisely because he has a thorough understanding of the personality and psychology of every talent under his command. He can compare himself with his talent, and he knows what his talent wants from him most, and he always tries his best. He gives him more talent than they think. This should be the core content of corporate culture in modern enterprises. Because what is corporate culture? Corporate culture is the philosophy of business owners dealing with people. In other words, the development of an enterprise depends on how big the boss pattern of this enterprise is and whether it can accommodate so many talents. Instead of desperately recruiting talents, and then letting talents drain because they don't understand the pattern of talents. So how do you understand the pattern of each talent? Of course, we are not Cao Cao, nor do we have his insight into human nature and human heart, but we can try to understand the pattern of people from the following aspects.
We all know that the famous six-degree division theory is also called the small world theory. It means that there will be no more than six strangers. In other words, you can meet any stranger through six people at most. The six-degree division is a bit like the golden section theory 0.6 18: 1. The six-degree subdivision theory I understand is basically the aggregation effect between people. Moreover, certain conditions are needed to achieve this polymerization effect. What are the conditions? This is where the patterns between these two people must meet or overlap. For example, they may have the same hobbies, people they know and interests. In a word, the six-degree segmentation theory solves the problem of understanding between two strangers. But to realize the "aggregation" between two strangers, their patterns have to meet. This intersection refers to the same hobby mentioned above, and so on. The anthropomorphism also applies to people we know. We often say that there is a generation gap between people. For example, we often say that there is a generation gap between us and our parents, and some problems cannot be communicated. There is a generation gap between post-80s and post-90s. This generation gap can be understood as a generation gap between people of different times. However, I said that there are too few people's pattern intersections between us, which leads to the lack of communication between us, which leads to less and less pattern intersections between us, and the generation gap is getting deeper and deeper. In fact, as long as we work hard to understand and understand each other's pattern, it is possible to narrow or eliminate this generation gap. Take myself as an example. My family is in the countryside, and my parents are farmers. They're all from the' 60s. I am born after 80. Before, I was not very happy to go home for the New Year, because every New Year's Eve afternoon, I was dragged to the grave by my father. And bow down. bow down. I think this age is too superstitious. As a result, I didn't go several times. As a result, my relationship with my father is very stiff, and the generation gap is getting deeper and deeper. But this time I was "invited" by my father to go home for the New Year. I accepted it gladly and tried my best. As a result, I talked a lot with my father at home this time, and I felt that the generation gap between us was much smaller. Suddenly I feel that my pattern is much bigger. Because I have tried to understand and understand my father's model. Of course, my father is naturally as happy as he is. He thinks that the child has grown up and is sensible. Actually, I'm not sensible anymore. I still feel that my father's behavior is a superstitious behavior in my heart, although his motivation may be just to remember his dead elders. It's me. The pattern is getting bigger and bigger. This does not mean that the father's pattern must be small. Because the pattern between people is not comparable, but can meet or meet the interval. Moreover, the larger the intersection interval, the more obvious the polymerization is. Generally speaking, the interpersonal relationship between these two people will get better and better and last longer.
Well, it's finally over. Pull, pull, pull a lot. The above is a written summary of the pattern of people I thought of when I came home for the New Year. Some of them may be illogical or even contradictory. But it doesn't matter, because I wrote these words under the condition of inner contradiction. What I want to say is that under the impetuous social conditions, if everyone tries their best to understand each other's respective patterns, we will save a lot of effort and be less unhappy when communicating, so that the society will become much more harmonious. That's all.
How to understand a person's pattern? 2 how big is a person's pattern? Look at these three points.
Regarding the pattern, a netizen in Zhihu explained it very well:
If the pattern is low, only care about yourself and insist on "I want to win, but I want everyone around me to lose";
People at the top of the pattern will take care of others and believe that "I want to win, but I want people around me to win together";
The person with the highest pattern has long been detached. "I don't care whether I win or not", but because my vision and strength are in place, I will never lose, although I don't care about winning or losing.
Zeng Guofan, a famous minister in the late Qing Dynasty, said: Those who seek great things should pay attention to the pattern first.
So what determines a person's pattern?
How much injustice can you bear?
"I want to resign, I can't do this job anymore!" I received a phone call from my cousin yesterday, and she cried and complained.
It turned out that yesterday morning, the supervisor asked her to give the document to the manager for signature. When the supervisor came to ask for it in the afternoon, the manager had not signed it yet. So I felt that my cousin was incompetent and criticized her.
But she hasn't seen the manager all morning.
Cousin said more and more feel wronged, tears spouted down.
My cousin, who has been spoiled since childhood, probably hasn't fully understood this sentence: to be a man, you must always be wronged.
So I told her a story.
Before World War I, Germany was quite strong, because Bismarck, the "bloody prime minister", and his partner King William I cooperated tacitly, and Qi Xin worked together.
Unexpectedly, after dealing with government affairs, King William I often returned to the harem flushed with anger.
At this time, the queen will ask him, "Are you angry with the old man Bismarck again?"
The king replied grumpily, "Who else can make me angry except him?"
The queen is confused. "Then why are you always angry with him? Instead of punishing him. "
William I sighed and explained in detail: "He is the Prime Minister, one person below and above ten thousand people. He will be angry with many people below. So where did he go when he was angry? You can only leave me. There is nothing wrong with me being wronged, as long as the country can be good. "
Liu Chuanzhi once said to his successor Yang: "Life is doomed to suffer many grievances. The more successful a person is, the more grievances he suffers. "
And how big a person's pattern is depends on how much injustice he can bear and his attitude towards injustice.
Small-scale people can't stand any grievances, always put themselves first, only thinking about personal interests, and will be tired of grievances and depressed;
However, people with big patterns are not. They will laugh it off, stay out of it, and even change their potential energy to forge ahead in grievances.
Therefore, we can see that it was William I's free and easy attitude towards grievances that led to the prosperity of the German Empire.
As Feng Lun said, "Greatness is made the day after tomorrow."
Swallow grievances, crush grievances, and what comes out is your pattern.
How much responsibility can you take?
One day in 1920, an American boy who was nearly 12 years old accidentally kicked his neighbor's window while playing football with his friends.
The neighbor asked the little boy to take money to compensate. So the troubled little boy timidly went home and asked his parents for money.
After hearing this, the stern father kept a straight face and said nothing. The mother couldn't bear to blame the little boy, so she came forward to mediate.
So the father gave the little boy 15, but said to him seriously, "I lent you this 15, and you need to find a way to pay it back." You should be responsible for your own troubles. "
In order to pay back the money, the boys went to wash dishes to earn money after school for several months.
At the moment when he returned the money to his father, his father patted the boy on the shoulder with relief: "A person who can be responsible for his own actions will definitely have a promising future."
The boy was none other than ronald wilson reagan, the 33rd president of the United States.
Later, President Reagan said with emotion when recalling the past: "That trouble made me understand the responsibility of being a man."
I remember seeing a sentence, all resumes in life must be behind courage and responsibility.
Because you have a sense of responsibility, you have a responsibility. Responsibility will expand our behavior patterns.
People who are brave enough to take responsibility have a broad vision, do not care about immediate interests, and care about longer-term goals.
Those who ignore their responsibilities and only think about their own interests often lose their credibility and pattern.
There is a story about an old carpenter who worked hard all his life and built countless houses.
One day, he felt old and wanted to go home and enjoy his old age, so he said goodbye to his boss.
The boss was reluctant to let the old carpenter go, but seeing that he had made up his mind to go, he asked him to build the last house before leaving.
The old carpenter promised to start work at once, but people can see that the old carpenter, eager to return, completely deviated from his work. The beams are crooked, and the paint on the wood is not as bright as before.
On the day of completion, the boss gave the old carpenter the key to the house and told him it was a parting gift for him.
The old carpenter was startled. He never imagined that he had built countless beautiful and strong houses in his life and finally got such a shoddy gift.
And this gift was created by him.
The old carpenter, who only wanted to go home, didn't take care of this last house, lost his last days and lost his life.
How big a person's pattern is depends on how much responsibility he can bear.
Because people who dare to take responsibility have a clearer mind, a more positive attitude and a longer-term vision.
How big a mission can it carry?
If the meaning of responsibility is infinitely magnified, it will become a mission.
A person who lives with a sense of mission has a more magnificent life pattern.
Now there are house slaves, car slaves and child slaves in China, but one person is a "Kunu".
He is the "bell ringer of history"-Fan Jianchuan.
From the age of 9, Fan Jianchuan began to collect anti-Japanese war collections. Later, he resolutely resigned as deputy mayor and embarked on a more profitable business road.
The purpose of his entrepreneurship is to complete the life mission entrusted to him-to build museums and publicize history.
He said: "There are two thousand real estate developers in Sichuan, so it doesn't matter if I lose one. China has 654.38+300 million people and 654.38+250 million people. They should live their normal lives, but some people should stand up and sound the alarm and make sacrifices. I want to be a bell ringer. "
So he stood up, spent tens of millions, ran for more than ten years, and devoted himself to building a museum to let more people pay attention to and remember history.
Fan Jianchuan wrote in the preface of One Man's Anti-Japanese War: "The glory of a country can be shared by 65.438+300 million people, and the national humiliation also needs everyone to bear."
In 2007, Fan Jianchuan and his wife decided to donate the resettlement funds and all cultural relics of Jianchuan Museum to Chengdu Municipal Government for free, with the donation value ranging from 8 billion yuan to 654.38+0 billion yuan.
He himself has written a will and donated his body to Chongqing Third Medical University, hoping to stretch the drums with his own skin and put them in the museum.
He said, "Whoever knocks at the door, I'll sing him a song on the voice-activated TV wall. He donated 65,438+0,000 yuan to the museum. In this way, I can still contribute to the museum when I die. "
Jobs said, "Living is to change the world."
You may think that only these great people will have their own mission, but they are not.
The world belongs to them as well as to you and me. A person who works and lives with a sense of mission will lead a grander and happier life.
Zuckerberg told such a story in his speech at Harvard University:
When John Kennedy visited the NASA Space Center, he saw a janitor with a broom, so he went over and asked the man what he was doing.
The man said, "Mr. President, I am helping a man land on the moon."
Just like Ferini's movie "The Road", the heroine and the clown talked under the starry sky: "Even a trivial stone has its mission."
So we are not only doctors, teachers, writers and workers. ...
Is walking on the edge of life and death, struggling to redeem the messenger; It is a bridge to care for the future and inherit civilization; Is a pioneer in soothing people's hearts and creating civilization; Is an engineer who creates cities and changes the world. ...
Whether a person's pattern is big or not depends on how much mission he can carry.
People who know how to carry the mission will actively amplify their personal responsibilities, even if they are as small as ants, they will radiate their own light and heat for the world.
People with patterns don't care about the gains and losses of one city and one pool. The so-called scenery is long, it is necessary to look good.
Only in this way can we achieve a greater self, live an atmosphere and live aboveboard.
The so-called case refers to personality; Bureau refers to tolerance and mind.
A wronged person is more tolerant and patient;
A person who has taken responsibility has a better understanding of responsibility and a better vision;
A man with a mission is braver and more upright.
To set the above three items, there must be people with a big pattern, not limited.