Clue:
Yi Shu wrote in "Xibao": "I want a lot of love. If you have no love, you need a lot of money. If there are neither, it would be nice to have health. "
How many girls are moved by this sentence, and even regard this sentence as a standard, and regard "love" and "money" as indicators of their love. I am the same age as Hua, desperate for love or giving up everything for money. I stumbled and eventually lost my "health", and it was hard to expect happiness.
How many love proverbs we believe wrong, we know that love is not a castle in the air, not just flowers, but also rice, oil and salt, plain and trivial.
Venus said: "Love can have no life to talk about, but marriage can't. Marriage is life. "
He Jiong said, "You suddenly meet someone who suits you very well. You must be careful. Without such a person, it is possible for him to approach you purposefully. Don't believe in fairy tales so much. "
Timothy Casey said in "The Meaning of Marriage": "Marriage provides people with an effective' shock absorber', which can help you overcome difficulties such as disappointment and illness, and make you regain your balance more quickly. Because the level of mutual supervision and self-discipline between husband and wife is higher than that of friends and other family relationships, nothing is more conducive to personality maturity than marriage. "
One day, we will let our views on love and marriage mature in marriage.
A 38-year-old woman has experienced such "maturity". She said: After two years of marriage, her husband became the "eldest son". This marriage has made me understand that the love of "the old cow eats the young grass" is an exchange of interests, and I have had enough of the crime of having fewer wives!
What has she experienced and how she feels about love and marriage? Let's listen to her heart.
Narrator: Tong Tong, a 38-year-old married woman.
My name is Tong Tong, and I'm 38 years old. Two years ago, I was an older woman, and now I will be a single mother, because I am getting a divorce.
I am a very ordinary girl, but I have my own stubbornness inside. I am above average in appearance, with a height of 168cm and a well-proportioned figure. Several men have actively pursued me.
When I was a student, I had a crush on a boy, and he liked me very much. But we didn't break each other's "enough". Just as I was enjoying this puppy love, he suddenly held hands with another girl.
Although we have never been together, his behavior is not a betrayal to me, but it has caused me great harm.
I don't understand why he is so obvious to me, but he turns away; I don't understand why he looked at me with infinite affection and suddenly took it back; I don't understand why he suddenly gave this "exclusive pet" to someone else when he clearly treated me differently from other girls!
But I can't question him, because he never promised me, and our relationship is only in an ambiguous stage.
But I have fallen in love with him, and this love that has ended before it has started makes me extremely painful. I couldn't get out for several years, and even began to doubt myself.
Fortunately, I have never been affected by this. During my college years, I studied very hard and was admitted to the civil servants in our city when I graduated.
A few years later, I accidentally knew that he was married, but because of his low academic qualifications and average ability, he never had a good job and lived in a chicken feather.
My feelings for him-love, incomprehension, pain, regret, helplessness, memories. ...
Finally put it down.
The love of "the old cow eats the young grass" is the exchange of interests.
My family is good, my parents are teachers, I am the only child in my family, and I have this job that everyone envies. I'm actually very popular in the local blind date market.
But I have an instinctive aversion to blind date. I hate this way of knowing that I have nothing to say in order to get married. It broke all my beautiful imagination of love. What romantic love doesn't start with a casual encounter?
In this way, I was 30 years old before I knew it. On my 30th birthday, my parents gave me a house as a gift. They have never urged marriage, but they have made it clear that I hope I can adjust my mentality as soon as possible, find a suitable person to fall in love, and get married and have children is the "right way in the world."
Unexpectedly, after 30 years old, my mind became calmer, and I even fell in love with single life. I will also go on blind dates, but I have long given up hope. I just want to work hard and get married. I took a natural attitude.
At the age of 34, our unit received an invitation from our alma mater to give a lecture.
In this activity, I met one of my primary school brothers, A Liang, who is 26 years old and a graduate student.
A Liang is tall and handsome, and the whole person exudes youthful passion, which reminds me of my college life. It was a wonderful time, and it felt good to be in my twenties!
A boy like A Liang still has an advantage in finding a girlfriend, but he is very active with me. After we met, he often talked to me and invited me to dinner for various reasons.
After several contacts, I have feelings for him. Now that I think about it, maybe I just saw the love I never started in him. A Liang is very similar to the previous one.
A Liang confessed to me, I was surprised that I was eight years older than him, and he could not care about this age gap. I hesitated at first, but in the end I couldn't resist the temptation of this love. I'm with A Liang.
Liang moved into my house after graduation.
I have paid all the expenses since we were together. At first, I thought he was still studying and had no income, which should be borne by me. But after graduation, he never found a job. He stayed at home and played games every day, relying on me as a "food and clothing parent" to live a carefree life.
In order to get him to go out to work quickly, we also quarreled several times.
But every time he always said, "I'm already trying to find a job." My major is not easy to find a job. I also want to take the civil service exam. I am not studying at home? " If you push me again, I will go out and find a job as a waiter. At that time, don't be ashamed! "
Just then, I accidentally got pregnant!
Considering that I was 36 years old, I cherished this child very much.
I got married with Liang in a hurry.
I went to A Liang's home for the first time because of the wedding. His home is in a very remote mountain village. His father works outside all the year round and is very old. His mother is in poor health and takes medicine all the year round. She is very slow. A Liang also has a younger brother and a younger sister, both of whom are still at school.
When I learned about his family background, I began to regret this "old cow eats young grass" love.
I have to admit, I think the beautiful love with A Liang is actually an exchange of interests! Sadly, A Liang knew the value of this exchange before I did.
After two years of marriage, my husband became the "eldest son", and I was fed up with the crime of having fewer wives.
I still want to live with Liang for the sake of the baby in my belly.
After the baby was born, A Liang still didn't find a job. My mother came to help take care of the children. When she sees A Liang at home every day, she is still very angry. When I was with A Liang, my mother resolutely opposed it and said, "You are so different in age that you are not grown up."
One child is enough to break the original family relationship. During the day, mothers are very tired with their children. At night, I sleep with my baby in my arms, while A Liang sleeps in the second bedroom.
Not only does he not work, but he also has no children!
I raise this family by myself. He is my "eldest son".
More than a year has passed, and I am getting old quickly!
Once, Liang and I went out to buy clothes. When I went to pay, the shopping guide actually said to A Liang, "Your mother is so kind to you and is willing to buy you such good clothes!"
After listening to it, I really felt a great shock!
Not only that, recently I found that A Liang always goes out mysteriously and keeps a close eye on his mobile phone. I suspect that he cheated!
But I don't want to look into him. I decided to get a divorce. I'm fed up with being married and widowed!
Jiao Xiao Xinyu:
Balzac once said: "The so-called love can satisfy everything, only for lovers: as for lovers, they need more than the sky like roofs and green carpets."
As parents, we always hope that our daughter can "learn well" first. It seems that if she can study hard and have a successful career, she will definitely get married well.
Is that really the case?
Unrealistic understanding of love and marriage will often "hurt" these excellent girls. Which girl has no vision and imagination of love, but if her understanding of love only comes from best-selling literary works and popular TV dramas, it is a bit dangerous.
Romain rolland said: "There is only one kind of heroism in the world, and that is to love life after seeing the truth of life clearly."
In fact, love and marriage are the same. Zhang Ailing said: "Born in this world, there is no feeling that is not riddled with holes."
I hope every girl is not afraid to see the truth of love and marriage, but can bravely love, pursue and run her own marriage after seeing the truth.
Today's topic:
Are there any husbands and wives around you? What happened to them?
Do you think that agreeing that "the old cow eats the young grass" is an exchange of interests?
Are there any girls like Tong Tong around you?
As a parent, do you think you should consciously guide your daughter's view of marriage and love from how old she is?
(Graphic irrelevant)