One is the innate ability to perceive the inner state of others. This will be reflected in some interpersonal masters, leaders or psychological counselors. This is a neutral ability. Good people can use it for good, and bad people can use it for bad. For example, there are criminal leaders who will use this ability to control their men and gain a stable position by creating fear. This is their use of empathy.
One is the sensitive reaction caused by interpersonal trauma. This is because of early attachment, misplaced or harsh reaction, and so on. They will convey their sense of stability to the environment. The environment is safe and they feel stable; With a slight change in the environment, their followers fell into a bad state. This is actually a psychological problem that needs to grow up.
The two are very different.
The biggest difference is whether your sense of stability is influenced by the outside world. * * * A person with good feelings is equivalent to having a pair of "ultrasonic waves" to detect others' own. However, due to the sensitivity caused by trauma, although he has certain emotional ability, it is often negative emotions and offensive reactions from others. While others may be too slow.
People who are sensitive to themselves are often their wounds.
A person who lost his loved ones in his early years and suffered from separation trauma may overreact to his friend's illness and feel uneasy, projecting his anxiety on his friend, thinking that he is dying. As a result, this kind of communication was repulsed by the other party and regarded as a curse, but I still thought it was kind.
This sensitivity is traumatic. Maybe it makes others very tired in the relationship, and I am very tired.
Your friend's situation is obvious. She is not happy when she hears that others are unhappy.
It is because other people's unhappiness awakened her inner "unhappy memories".
People react like computers.
Most experiences and life experiences are stored in the hard disk, and only some key information is processed in the memory. If stimulated by the environment, the information will be transferred from the hard disk to the memory, which is in an "operable" state. This is to wake up the original "bad sector" of the hard disk.
The reason why a good psychological counselor will get better and better is that after his overall growth problems are integrated, he will be touched to wake up a small "hard disk problem" in his consulting work, form a working motivation, and constantly clean up and integrate himself, which will become smoother and smoother. Everyone has "illness", "trauma" and "complex". Constant contact and seeing will form a soil of understanding.
Anyway.
* * * Emotion will bring people growth. The problems discovered with the help of * * * may be things you didn't realize, and they are also places where you really need to grow. Many people go the wrong way, and they think the right direction may only be on the road of self-transformation and self-defense. These can be reminded by * * * emotions.
Gao Feixia, graduated from a famous university, studied Chinese medicine because of personal pain and then meditated. She is addicted to meditation experience and away from her family. In meditation, she was empowered by others, but like addiction, she could not return to life. His family is getting worse and worse, and his speech is becoming more and more "mysterious". She also became more and more unstable. Later, because of her beauty, she was seduced by many "mentors", which made her entangled in conflicts and attracted.
In fact, this is to avoid the heavy, drink poison to quench thirst.
Her emotional ability made her aware of these people's intentions and fell into personal pain. Finally found the problem and finally grew up in consultation. Three years later, she returned to her true self, returned to her family and started a healthy life.
Real growth is actually very simple, becoming more and more confident, more and more powerful to live in the present world, more and more willing to express themselves and gain relationships. Play faster and faster. It is a power from the heart and does not always depend on the outside world.
* * * Emotion is the driving force for one's growth.
It can also be developed into many other abilities.