(continued)
(2) From the perspective of the relationship between self and object, face to face-internal and external interpersonal mode.
People have duality: subjective and objective. Subjectivity is mainly reflected in creation, and objectivity is reflected in the fact that people are created. In reality, human objectivity is reflected in the strong demand for a sense of belonging, that is, the dependence on "things" or the demand for dependence. This object can be a nurturer or an inanimate thing. Individuals with anxiety, due to self-injury in their early years, lead to a serious imbalance in the duality of individuals, that is, lack of subjectivity, proliferation of objectivity, passive personality characteristics, or slavery.
Psychoanalytic therapy between subjects is only to convey a truth that people's psychological predicament is composed of interpersonal conflicts from the beginning. Even the fetus has had emotional interaction with the mother, so the rescue of psychological dilemma must rely on the awakening and improvement of the internal and external relations of the subject.
So, how to treat existential anxiety with intersubjective psychoanalysis? Let's review "What is existential anxiety". An existential anxious individual often experiences himself in despair and loneliness. What he experiences is not a complete person-but a person who is "divided" in different ways. There are two ways to split: the system relationship with the environment and the system relationship with itself. They have no ability to experience themselves with others, nor can they "put themselves" in the environment to experience them. The result may be that there is only a fragile connection between mind and body, or that two or more egos appear and form conflicts. We know that their anxiety is more manifested in interpersonal relationships and inner disorder.
Therefore, an important dimension to treat existential anxiety is orientation-internal and external interpersonal model. Here, I would like to focus on the teacher's research on "the relationship between subject and object" (in fact, it is also the application and development of some research on psychotherapy between subjects in the cluster). Teacher Cong mentioned in The Relationship between Self and Subject and Object that a person can also form a "relationship" between his own subject and object. For example, I like myself, I hate myself, I treat myself well, I abuse myself ... these are the "subject-object relationship" existing in individuals, which we can call "self-subject-object relationship"
How is this "self-subject-object relationship" formed? He further mentioned: As Freud said, the subconscious originated from the experience of individual past lives, and was internalized into the subconscious. The subconscious mind is not perceived by the individual, but dominates the individual's emotions, thinking and behavior patterns. In the early life experience and interpersonal communication, the individual's own experience as subject and object will also be internalized into the subconscious, becoming the "self-subject-object relationship" in the subconscious. From this perspective, we can further suggest that there is some kind of "self-subject-object obstacle" in the subconscious. This formulation may become a development of the subconscious theory of psychoanalysis and a new method to explain the concept of "subconscious" in psychoanalysis. If we attach importance to the "self-subject-object relationship" in the subconscious and the "subject-object relationship" in the real interpersonal relationship in psychotherapy, it may become a new psychoanalytic therapy, at least adding a new element and dimension to the existing psychoanalytic therapy.
As we all know, just like kohut's concept of "self-object relationship (empathy)", the "self-subject-object relationship" in an individual's subconscious will also be reflected and refracted in interpersonal relationships, which is manifested in the individual's promotion of interpersonal relationships or importunities others. For example, when a person doesn't like himself at heart, it can be externalized as "I don't like you" or/and "you don't like me" in interpersonal relationships. When a person's subconscious subject-object relationship is "I like myself", he will show "I like you" or "you like me" in the promotion of interpersonal relationship, and even externalize the whole self-subject-object relationship into "you like yourself". In this regard, we can see that the subconscious self-subject-object relationship is promoting the occurrence and development of individual external interpersonal relationships (empathy of self-subject-object relationship); On the contrary, the external subject-object relationship will gradually be internalized into the subconscious, forming the self-subject-object relationship in the subconscious.
My further experience is that the new perspective of "self-subject-object relationship" provides a deeper and more direct thinking direction for us to understand and treat existential anxiety: individual existential anxiety, that is, individuals with non-subjective anxiety, face sharp interpersonal contradictions: not only to determine themselves and others through others, but to be exposed to others means to be exposed to danger; Both eager for others' recognition and trying to escape others' attention, they have to turn themselves into a binary body, symbolically understanding that if the mirror is used as the medium, it is a pure "spiritual" existence outside the mirror (true self, the main part of self) and a domestic existence (false self, the object part of self). This reflects his "self-subject-object relationship", that is, the internal relationship is that the object is greater than the subject, and even the object covers the subject. If the subject is compared to a child and the object to a wolf father and a tiger mother, then the internal relationship of sexually disturbed individuals is: the relationship between the child and the tiger mother and the wolf father, or the relationship between the prisoner and the prison guard.
In the study of anxiety, I also realized that many anxious individuals have a premonition of risk and fear, which is a deep and habitual attachment (persistence) to a tree root on the edge of a cliff, and the subject experiences a feeling of "being with the king" that he wants to leave but can't leave. From this feeling, we can deeply understand that the cliff edge is the background of the subject's early life, full of indifference and negative threats. It is in this context that people are regarded as objects and tools, and even cats and dogs are regarded as targets of bullying and attack. The root of a cliff can be compared to the figure of a supporter or supporter. Helpless and self-confused children can only hold on to them, not just "beyond redemption." In this context, people exist as an object, and in a precarious situation, they have to rely on a terrible strong person to grow up. He has internalized a terrible strong man, which Freud called superego. I think it is more vivid to be called "inner tyrant". The reinterpretation of "premonition risk anxiety" means that the subject is experiencing a feeling of being accompanied by a king like a tiger: the tiger is a tyrant within the individual, and the individual's heart is a pair of "terrible tyrants-afraid of children".
And such an existential anxious individual-whose internal relationship is "a terrible tyrant-is afraid of children", you will often meet in clinical consultation.
Back to Jiao Jiao's case, she has been in anxiety and panic about the unknown for a long time, and her avoidance and distrust of interpersonal relationship is precisely the tyrant she internalized and the externalization of her inner relationship model. Through the manifestations of her external interpersonal model, we can clearly map out her internal model: not only the self-subject-object relationship such as "terrible tyrant-fearful child", but also many uncoordinated relationships such as "indifferent father-helpless child", "complaining mother-angry child" and "aggressive grandparents-injured child". The similarity of these internal relations is that the subject exists in the form of negation.
In the whole intersubjective therapy scene, these subconscious "self-subject-object relationships" need to be experienced and realized.
To put it simply, for example, in Jiao's memory, the family was always poor and always "redundant". This impression is too deep to erase. Her relatives have long despised her and refused to recognize the sexual value of "women". These are the basis of her internal "self-denial relationship" ... reflected in the external interpersonal relationship, what she fears most is the contempt and discrimination of others. Afraid of being criticized and denied ... Take these points for example, in our relationship between subjects and the real experience reaction between subjects, I don't have any judgment or discrimination against her, so that she feels that it doesn't matter what she says, what she thinks, and how bad her mood is, then she will become more and more real, and her feelings will be different from those in the past.
From the perspective of "self-subject-object relationship", we have to present and reveal the pattern of internal and external relations through the deepening of the relationship between subjects, so that Jiao Jiao can see and understand her internal relationship, that is, the aforementioned "pairing" and its relationship with external interpersonal patterns. In this process, Jiao Jiao will naturally feel that in the relationship between our treatment subjects, no matter what she was like before or now, what she wants to do is understood and supported ... Then, she will become more and more real, more and more able to reconsider her external interpersonal communication mode, and her feelings about interpersonal communication will be very different from those that are not true in the past, which will become a new kind for her. (In fact, in the later period of treatment, Jiao Jiao finally expanded his interpersonal circle, such as joining two societies and working as a part-time tutor. )
What I want to emphasize is that the vision of schizophrenia between subjects is actually the process of "inter-subjectivity interaction" between therapists and visitors. With the help of the interpersonal interaction mode in the external reality of visitors, we can help visitors to reflect and perceive their internal (subconscious) "self-subject-object relationship", thus adjusting the internal subject-object relationship and gradually establishing and developing harmonious external interpersonal relationship.
What I want to emphasize more is that from the perspective of "self-subject-object relationship", the internal and external interpersonal patterns are presented and revealed in the therapeutic scene of inter-subject relationship, so that visitors can see, understand and transform their "bad interpersonal experience organization" and achieve the effects of visitors' subjectivity promotion and self-consistency.
(To be continued)