After becoming a divorce lawyer, I found that marrying love is the most ridiculous chicken soup I have ever heard.
In recent years, more and more people began to pursue their feelings, want to fall in love, want to be single, want to get married and want to divorce.
Marriage is no longer sacred, but if you don't stay together, you will break up.
For married couples now, marriage is no longer the savior of life, and partners are not the dependence of life.
Not long ago, in the first quarter of 2020, the statistics of the turnover rate of various provinces were listed on the hot search list.
This set of data is just a flashpoint. Since 20 10, the number of divorces in China has been rising in a straight line every year.
More couples prefer not to love each other, but to be together and separate.
The question is, can marriage really be good or bad?
Most couples' marriages have come to an end, love is gone, and trivial things have come one after another.
Divorce is not a simple matter, but also involves many issues, such as the division of property, the ownership of children, the ownership of houses, the ownership of cars and the ownership of tickets.
All these prove that gathering and parting are just people's imagination.
After being a divorce lawyer, I have seen many people get married because of love, but they are like enemies when they divorce.
Many people don't want to get married so much after divorce.
Divorce is not as easy as imagined.
0 1
Real demands under uninterrupted emotions
One of my classmates (Qingqing) asked me for advice. Her husband cheated on the female boss of his company's docking project. She is a rich woman. She was found by a friend and sent her a photo.
Qing Qing was very angry and had a big fight with the man with the photo. She can't get over it and wants a divorce.
Men disagree. At first he said that he and the rich woman were just talking about business, and later he said that they were ideological partners.
The divorce agreement failed, and she was disgusted with the man's words and sued him.
Qing Qing believes that the man made a mistake and the court should sentence him to divorce soon.
Unexpectedly, her photo can't be used as proof at all, nor can it prove that the man has substantial evidence of cheating, so he can only mediate.
After two unsuccessful mediations, the man kept saying that he still had feelings and refused to sign for various reasons. Finally, he revealed his needs-the man hoped that Qingqing could compensate his current wedding room.
The man said without fear, "I didn't really cheat." It's not my fault. I'm not going to get a divorce. If you have to leave, you must give me the house. "
Qingqing was furious. Her parents bought this house for her as a wedding room. The man didn't pay a penny. At that time, he was afraid that the man would feel uncomfortable, so he wrote their names on the real estate license.
If mediation fails, she can only sue for divorce. During the trial, the man refused to agree to the divorce, and took out the photo of the couple that the woman and he bought at the same time (this was taken six months ago), which proved that the relationship between the two had not yet broken down.
In fact, saying that the relationship is not broken is just his excuse. He knew that the woman wanted to get a divorce quickly, so he thought she could give him the house.
The key point of this case is:
Just an intimate photo won't be considered cheating in law.
Many people think that if you have intimate behavior with others, you are unfaithful to your marriage, that is, cheating.
Actually, it is not.
If you only occasionally have sex with the opposite sex outside marriage, it is a moral problem and does not violate the marriage law. Strictly speaking, it does not bear civil liability. It is even more impossible to realize the possibility of the other party "going out clean" or dividing less property because of this.
Generally, infidelity does not reach the fault level of "long-term stability and cohabitation with the opposite sex outside marriage".
These so-called evidence of cheating can only be used in negotiations to make the other party take the initiative to retreat because of fear. Used for divorce by agreement or out-of-court negotiation.
Divorce is not as simple as everyone seems to think, and judges will consider it with the most comprehensive factors, not individuals.
02
Marital property is not decided by individuals.
The woman is old and white, rich, has her own studio, with an annual salary of one million, a car of 400,000 BMW, and the market value of the house in Shanghai exceeds 10 million.
This woman met Kai Lee through a blind date. They fell in love at first sight and got married within two months. Due to the lack of understanding before marriage, the two sides often have conflicts after marriage and finally decide to divorce.
Kai Lee didn't intend to ask her how much money she had, so she discussed it with me. If you give me 1 10,000, we will go through the formalities.
Just hearing this, the woman's identity has exceeded 10 million. I feel that this man doesn't have a big mouth, and the woman doesn't lack the money. She should leave soon.
Unexpectedly, the woman doesn't think so. She thought that Kai Lee didn't even have a house when she got married, and money was her pre-marital property. Since her marriage and divorce have become a second marriage, why did she give him money?
She didn't agree, and cursed Kai Lee for eating soft rice, saying that Kai Lee cheated on marriage and money. Originally, I wanted this man to "retreat", but her excessive behavior angered Kai Lee.
The man thought, anyway, I am such a person in your heart. The "pot" has been backed, why not divide the property?
Kai Lee filed a divorce suit, demanding the division of property. That woman came to me and hoped that I could help her. It is found that the house they live in is relocated after marriage, and all kinds of wealth management stocks are bought and sold after marriage, which is profitable.
I gave him a detailed estimate, and the woman heard that she wanted to divide a lot of property and was willing to pay 654.38+00,000 yuan for divorce.
But it's too late. The man is unwilling to talk to the woman and insists that the court divide the property.
The woman found several more lawyers, all to no avail. The first instance ruled that the man had the right to split the house in two.
In addition, in addition to the principal, the other investment income of the woman's pre-marital stock trading is divided as the joint property of the husband and wife.
The key to this case is:
If the husband and wife decide to divorce, the division of property is essential.
Article 18 of China's Marriage Law stipulates that one of the following circumstances is the property of one of the spouses:
One party's premarital property;
Medical expenses, living allowance for the disabled and other expenses obtained by one party due to physical injury;
Property that belongs only to the husband or wife is determined in the will or gift contract;
Articles for daily use dedicated by one party;
The rest are the property of the Danggui Party. Article 19 stipulates that husband and wife may agree that the property acquired during the marriage relationship and the pre-marital property shall be owned by themselves, jointly owned or partly owned, and partly jointly owned.
Therefore, in marriage, whether it is a man or a woman, as long as it is all the income in marriage, it should be counted as the same property in marriage.
Don't take any chances. You don't have a job. My salary is mine, which also belongs to the property of husband and wife.
03
Rehabilitation of domestic violence trauma
The woman "Ain" was taken to the law firm by her father, who asked Ali to divorce.
Ayin has been sitting on the side without talking, and her father is talking to me. Probably, this man is prone to domestic violence.
When Ain married this man, he was very satisfied with his status as a father. The son-in-law came home from the army, and he has a facade room at home. The conditions are good.
After getting married, he saw his daughter's arm was black and blue. He asked her that her daughter said that her husband was too strong and accidentally touched him.
More often, he knows that this is not the son-in-law's intention. Whenever a daughter quarrels with her son-in-law, the son-in-law will start a fight.
At first, it was just a push, then a slap, and finally a combination of fists and feet.
Her father asked them for a divorce. Although the daughter followed him home, the son-in-law didn't want a divorce. She mediated twice, her son-in-law wrote a letter of guarantee, and they were together again.
There are only zero and countless domestic violence, and once it starts, it is difficult to stop.
The man has been well for 2 months, and the child is going to have a parent-teacher meeting. Men and women argue about who should attend their children's parents' meeting. Ali was not satisfied that her husband was always busy, so the man gave her a good beating.
The man also threatened the woman that if she told her father about it, he would kill her family with a knife. Don't let her go out until she recovers.
A Yin was afraid of being beaten, even more afraid that the man would hurt his family in anger, and finally made up his mind to divorce.
People who are prone to domestic violence like this often happen. As long as the materials are sufficient, even if the first mediation fails, the second time will be divorced.
I asked her to prepare a witness during the domestic violence, a photo of her scars after the domestic violence and the help she sought, and wrote an indictment for her. After a month of data collection and defense, she was finally sentenced to divorce.
The key point of this case is:
Domestic violence divorce itself is not too difficult to deal with, because one party made a major mistake.
The difficulty lies in emotion. Due to various external or internal reasons, many people remain silent about domestic violence after being abused.
Some people still hope for the other half and divorce, while others are afraid that the failure of divorce will bring more violence to themselves.
Article 1079 of the Civil Code: "Litigation divorce" If one of the spouses requests a divorce, the relevant organization may mediate or directly file a divorce lawsuit with the people's court.
To sue for divorce due to domestic violence, relevant evidence shall be submitted to the court to prove the facts of domestic violence:
Eyewitness testimony.
After the domestic violence, if you have ever called the police, then the police will have a police record.
Go to the hospital in time after suffering from domestic violence, and the hospital's diagnosis certificate and treatment certificate.
This not only helps one's own judgment, but also the innocent party can demand compensation from the violent party.
In the final analysis, divorce is not the goal, and the protection of ourselves is what we have been longing for.
04
Why is divorce so much harder than marriage?
I have seen too many things torn by feelings, from a short divorce to two or three years, tearing and tearing, that is, too little money and dissatisfaction.
What makes people miserable and desperate is not the divorce itself, but seeing the ugliest side of the person they once loved most at the moment of divorce, and they have not been compensated by money.
China's divorce system implements the dual-track system of registered divorce and litigation divorce.
If both parties reach an agreement on children, property and debts and divorce voluntarily, they can register for divorce. If one party is unwilling to divorce, and the two parties cannot reach an agreement on related issues, they will go to court for divorce.
Next year, when the new Civil Code comes into effect on June 65438+ 10/,divorce proceedings will only be more difficult.
Marriage is not necessarily for happiness, divorce must be.
Divorce is not terrible. The terrible thing is that the other person wants to "kill" you, but you don't know his purpose. How to deal with:
Emotional breakdown proves to be more shameless than anyone else.
In most people's cognition, if the relationship is broken, you should divorce early. Why do you tear it up with those people?
Because, the longer you persist, the more things you get.
Just like the first story, the man already has his own soul mate, but he is not in a hurry to divorce, just wants a house.
He will keep dragging his wife, and when she can't stand it, he will simply let go, so his family will say it.
Shamelessness in divorce is not to save the marriage, but more often to compete for many interests.
People's nobility or meanness can be fully demonstrated in a divorce.
A long litigation cycle
Li Dan said:
"Marriage is a shell, not to protect it, but to protect us."
But when this shell becomes a wall that hurts us, we have to take up arms to break it.
When the relationship between two people is irretrievable, if the two sides can't negotiate well and one party insists on divorce, then they can only enter divorce proceedings.
Under normal circumstances, at the time of the first prosecution, as long as the defendant does not agree to divorce, the base will not divorce.
The second prosecution after 6 months, whether the defendant agreed to divorce or not, did not stipulate that divorce would be inevitable.
If the defendant does not agree to divorce, he can avoid divorce by various means, such as refusing to sign in court, which obviously shows that the relationship between husband and wife is still there.
In this case, the court will not decide, and this situation belongs to the majority.
It has reached the point of litigation divorce, and it is impossible to leave with dignity.
It should be noted that in the process of divorce proceedings, if the other party has bad hobbies such as cheating, domestic violence abandoning family members, gambling, drug abuse, etc., it will be divorced for the second time at the latest.
Collecting evidence and saving each other's information are the basis for us to prepare for the worst.
No matter how hard it is, we are all better off;
Don't be afraid when you meet bad people. Get rid of him as soon as possible.
Divorce should be quick and accurate.
A smart woman needs a little selfishness, and needs to see her bottom line and fear in her eyes and keep them in her heart.
Such "selfishness" is to give yourself a signal of being hurt. Once this signal rings, you should put on your armor to protect yourself.
Abandonment is not terrible, and divorce is not terrible.
The terrible thing is that you still fantasize that he will change his mind and rely on him to come back to you.
The sun, the moon and the stars change every day, not to mention the love between men and women.
As a result of the struggle, there is no relief except physical injury.
If feelings are sustained by "forbearance", then its ending is the end of tears and dog blood one after another.
Marriage is slow, divorce is fast.
After all, life is only decades.
Instead of spending precious time on maintaining the surface of marriage or tearing up the wrong person, let go of yourself and start the next happiness.