1
2020 is a tortuous year.
After the epidemic eased in the first half of the year, my work got better and better. I work as a personnel manager in a company that feels good in all aspects. I seriously thought that apart from natural and man-made disasters, if there were no accidents, I would retire here.
Life and work are stable, and my mother-in-law's delivery calls have become more frequent. My husband and I are under great pressure. Before, we went to the hospital for an examination. The result is that there is water in my fallopian tube, and my husband's sperm quality is not very good. The doctor said that our chances of getting pregnant naturally are relatively low.
After repeated discussions, we decided to do IVF without telling our in-laws.
In late August, a series of pre-fertilization examinations were conducted in municipal hospitals: blood drawing, urine test and chest X-ray examination. ...
When doing hysteroscopy, the doctor found a large polyp on the inner wall of my uterus. Without anesthetic, I scraped off the polyps with a mirror and sent them to do pathological screening. When scraping polyps, I feel like crying. I thought IVF was just the beginning, and I tried to hold back my tears.
Three days later, the results of polyp screening came out, which was common hyperplasia. My hanging heart is put down.
Just as I was racking my brains to figure out how to arrange sick leave during IVF so as not to affect my work to the greatest extent, one afternoon at the end of the month, after I arranged the final exam for my boss's financial position and sent away the candidates, my boss called me into the office and said that he wanted to talk to me alone. He was unusually slow when he was boiling water to make tea, and he didn't speak for a long time. I suddenly have a bad feeling.
Sure enough, because the boss failed to invest, the company will have no money to pay us next month, and the compensation will not be paid.
Suppressing the shock, I went back to the office to sort out the information and list.
My husband suddenly called, and before I mentioned unemployment, he said in a trembling voice that the city hospital had just informed him that he had found something wrong with his chromosome and his genetic risk was high, which affected IVF.
2
It turns out that the husband is born with balanced chromosome translocation, which has no influence on himself, but when he is passed on to his offspring, the number of chromosomes is easy to increase or decrease, resulting in the risk of fetal arrest, abortion or fetal malformation as high as 80%.
If you are an ordinary first-and second-generation IVF, you can't rule out this risk. Doctors suggest doing the third generation directly, because the third generation will screen the embryo chromosomes first, and then transplant the qualified embryos.
And the third generation of test tubes, the city hospital can't do it, and can only go to the provincial hospital 500 kilometers away. ...
After coming back from consultation in the municipal hospital, I was so anxious that I couldn't sleep for several nights in a row. I'm worried about not only whether the next test tube road is smooth, but also my future career development-
Although I have a good foundation in public institutions and large foreign companies in the past few years, I have changed two companies in recent years, and my professional ability has not been well improved. If I start doing IVF now, in the best case, I will stop working for at least a year. If the test tube fails once, the delay will be longer ... can you find a more suitable job when you want to go back to the workplace in the future?
Four years ago in the winter, I passed the second level of human resources through self-study, and this year, my work experience is just enough to pass the first level.
In recent two or three years, because of the fast pace of work and too much pressure, I haven't had professional charging for a long time. Although I had planned to apply for human resources management division before, I also bought the teaching materials in advance, but the examination time dragged on and on, and I had little time to read when I was busy, so I didn't take it to heart.
Now, I just can't work for a while. If I seize the opportunity and successfully pass this out-of-print national first-class qualification certificate, my resume will add a bright spot, which should be helpful for me to find a job in the future, right? To say the least, even if you fail in the exam, you have also conducted systematic professional study in the preparation process. It is better to improve your ability than not studying and not taking the exam, isn't it?
At that moment, looking at the exam registration notice in my mobile phone, I felt like an ascetic in the boundless desert, seeing the sparkling water, and I felt that my life had motivation and my future had hope.
three
I am anxious to prepare all the documents and materials and give them to the teachers of the training institutions that signed me up. I quickly turned out the textbooks that had been shelved in the corner for several days. Of the more than 600 pages, there are only less than 10 pages left, leaving less than two months to prepare.
Although I don't work, my study time is not as abundant as I thought-
Besides often going to the hospital for various examinations, at home, I spend at least two hours doing housework every day-as a married person, I am basically responsible for washing, cleaning, buying food and cooking at home, because my husband's work is very hard.
Few of my colleagues around me passed the first-level exam. In addition, teachers in training institutions are busy with consulting projects and have no time to provide review materials for our candidates. So I decided to refer to the information on the Internet, personally sort out the knowledge points, and also want to use the opportunity of sorting out to strengthen my memory.
In order to avoid the delay leading to the lack of final time, I made a plan in advance-
Day 15: Read the textbook carefully;
15 the next day: sort out six chapters of knowledge points and recite all the knowledge points;
Day 3 1-37: do all the free questions on the APP, and mark the favorite questions and wrong questions;
Day 38-44: Recite the knowledge points twice and do the set questions once;
Finally: recite the knowledge points again and do the wrong questions again.
In the study, I review the desktop for preparing for the exam.
In order to improve my study efficiency, I set an alarm clock every day to urge myself to get up early and have a cup of coffee.
All relevant tests have been completed and all indicators meet the requirements. So, my husband took three days off, and we took the test report, household registration book and marriage certificate to the provincial hospital to prepare for inspection and test tube filing.
When I was waiting in line at the hospital for research, the teacher of the training institution suddenly sent me a message: the registration was unsuccessful because the working years were still one month short.
With a buzz in my head, I lost my thinking ability in an instant. I finally recovered, angry and wronged: if I refer to the examination time in previous years, my work experience is definitely enough, but this year's examination time is advanced, which is arranged by the province. what can I do? There is only one month left. Why can't you bend the rules?
I called my crying teacher, and the teacher also felt that the audit was extremely strict, saying that it was over and all passed. She promised to give me another chance the next day.
I hid in the hospital toilet and secretly wiped my tears: it is not easy to make test tubes. It's rare that I want to take the exam now. Why is it so difficult?
four
That night, I had many noisy dreams. The next morning, I finished B-ultrasound in the hospital and waited for the doctor to call. There are many people waiting in the hall, and the air is a bit dull.
10, the teacher sent a message: I signed up this time! I almost jumped for joy, thinking: Yesterday, the file was filed. If I start the test tube cycle today, I will have finished taking eggs in about one month. When I get home and wait for the results of embryo screening, I can just finish the test in the local area and then come to the provincial hospital for transplantation without delay. ...
Finally, I got a call from the station. The doctor looked at my B-ultrasound and said, "One of your follicles is growing too fast and too big. It's not appropriate to inject now, so we can't enter the circulation. Just go back to the local hospital to monitor ovulation, come back 5-7 days after ovulation, and give you a fixed-length plan ... "
Surprisingly, in this case, the progress will be delayed by half a month. Anyway, the test tube is in a hurry, so review at home in these ten days.
When I taught myself to take the second grade exam, the textbooks were easier to understand. But at this level, the more pressure you see, the more knowledge you have. It takes more time and energy to understand and remember than to prepare for the second level.
There were two times during the period, and I felt a little regret: I was exhausted when I was doing the test tube. Why do I have to force myself to review the exam at this time? Rest in peace, eat, drink and go shopping. Isn't it delicious? ! But on second thought, if I just want to relax and enjoy now, will the gap between me and my peers in the workplace get bigger and bigger? Will the future career path be more difficult? A mediocre life has always been something you despise and struggle to get rid of, hasn't it?
Convince yourself to immerse yourself in the book again.
In the study plan, at the end of the second day of 15, the original study plan was not completed-I just sorted out all the knowledge points and didn't have time to recite it again. I decided to adjust the rhythm and start doing the problem directly. In order to speed up the progress, I also set aside an hour and a half to study after dinner every day.
In fact, my family is not very supportive of my study preparation. I was thin. Now, they are more worried about my health.
My husband saw that I began to study at night, fearing that I was too stressed to eat. He joked: "It's so difficult to take the first grade exam. Those smarter than you don't sign up. Do you want to prove that your brain is also good? "
My mother often calls and repeatedly emphasizes: "Learn as much as you can, don't force yourself, your health is important!" " "
I know, they are all for my own good. But I also want to try again for myself.
five
I returned to the provincial hospital at the time prescribed by the doctor's advice. This time, we can finally enter the test tube cycle.
When communicating with the doctor about the specific arrangements of nursed back to health and ovulation induction, I explained that I have a very important exam in three weeks, and I hope she can arrange for me to stagger those two days so that I can come back here after the exam.
The doctor looked at the desk calendar on the desk and frowned: "If you enter the cycle directly now, then according to the normal progress, the day of your exam is probably the day of the egg retrieval operation."
I feel my temples bulging on both sides of my head. I have something in my heart, but I can't say it. My lips are beginning to tremble uncontrollably.
The young assistant doctor next to me probably saw my abnormality and comforted: "It's not so absolute. The time of taking eggs and the time of your exam may be staggered, because people's physical conditions are different. Some people's hormone levels rise rapidly after injection, and they can be operated in seven or eight days. Other drugs are slow to respond, and it may take ten days to meet the requirements of the operation. However, according to our previous treatment experience, it is very likely that your exam time will hit the egg retrieval time ... "
"It's just ... is there no other way?" I won't give up.
"Well," the doctor leaned back, "since this test is so important to you, you should go back and check it first, and we will arrange for you to enter the test tube cycle next month. Otherwise, we have entered the cycle now and are still worried about the exam. Too much pressure will also affect the quality of follicles. In the end, if you don't do well in the exam and affect your treatment, you will lose more than you gain. After all, it costs a lot of money to enter the cycle. "
"I ... I think about it ..."
Out of the clinic, I dialed my husband's phone. "Is this exam more important than your health?" On the other end of the phone, there was a rumor that he was whistling at the construction site. "This exam is not very difficult? Even if you pass the exam, will you pass it? "
I want to call my mother again, but don't think about it. She will definitely let me focus on test tubes and health like my husband.
Perhaps, my husband is right, even if I enter the examination room, I may not pass it.
Sitting in front of the doctor again, her voice was still trembling: "Doctor, I've made up my mind. Let's go straight to the cycle. I'm not waiting."
"What about your exam?"
"If in the end, the exam really conflicts with the egg retrieval operation." I pinched my thigh. "I give up the exam ..."
After the hypotensive injection, I came out of the hospital and could no longer restrain my emotions. I walked in the street and cried. The cold wind messed up my hair and I forgot my image. Think about how hard it is to keep studying for so many days, but in the end I may not even have a chance to enter the examination room. Then think about all the ups and downs that I have experienced in this year. Tears are flowing more and more, and my mask is wet.
six
Back at the hotel, I fell asleep. Woke up, textbooks and printed knowledge points are still lying in the corner of the bed.
I should ... give up the exam?
Think for a long time, slowly calm down-
If this drama of life is destined to be a sad ending, I should stick to the curtain call, even if I really didn't have a chance to enter the examination room in the end, but I persisted in the whole preparation process and tried to be worthy of my heart. Perhaps, God will take care of me and stagger the time of operation and examination.
After the down-regulation period ends, the emission promotion period begins. At this time, there are still 10 days before the exam.
I need injections every day to promote drainage. In order to save time and reduce the distance, I stayed directly in a hotel near the provincial hospital.
Afraid of affecting the curative effect, I quit the habit of having a cup of coffee every day from the beginning of taking antihypertensive injections. The side effects of acupuncture gradually began to appear: every afternoon, I felt as if a little man was walking around in my head wearing heavy clogs. The dull voice gives me a splitting headache. I wanted to lie down and sleep, but I couldn't sleep after tossing and turning.
Insist on doing the questions and memorizing the knowledge points in a daze. In those days, I especially hope that time will pass faster and faster-go to the examination room quickly and be liberated after the exam; Or you can't enter the examination room at all, and you don't have to rush to learn knowledge in a short time.
It hurts when the needle pricks the ass, and it hurts even more after the needle is finished. The eye of the needle on my ass is getting dense, so I have to sleep on my side.
After the injection during the day, go back to the hotel to recite the question. When I was tired, I went to have a meal nearby and bought some fruit yogurt to bring back. In the evening, I lost sleep for a long time. I don't know if it's the side effect of the drug, or if the needle is too painful to relax my nerves, or if I'm subconsciously worried about the exam.
Learning progress is far behind schedule. After reassessing the actual efficiency, I reduced the amount of tasks: giving up the set questions and doing the wrong questions twice; Refer to the newly compiled outline, recite the knowledge points in depth, and mark the contents that you have not mastered in the process of memorizing; If there is still time, recite those marked contents again.
There are fewer and fewer days to check the follicular condition, and the day of the exam is getting closer and closer.
I asked my husband to print out the admission ticket for me in advance and put it on my desk at home. In case I don't need it, it is a souvenir. In the WeChat group, candidates have a heated discussion, exchange topics, or look for tables before and after the examination room. I have no intention of participating.
seven
The morning before the exam, I went to the hospital to take blood as usual to measure indicators and B-ultrasound to measure follicles.
Today's test results will determine whether I will continue to take an injection for a second interview the next day, or whether I will take an injection at night to get eggs, and whether I still have a chance to go home to take the exam. The three-hour waiting for the doctor's advice seems to have solidified. My stubborn residual luck and hope, like sand in an hourglass, flow out bit by bit and decrease bit by bit. ...
It may be the mercy of heaven, or it may be that the depressed mood in the past few days has delayed the efficacy. In short, the test results show that I can't take the eggs yet, so I can only continue to inject and check again the next day.
I can go home for the exam! ! After receiving the needle medicine and the doctor's advice, I ran out of the hospital, rushed back to the hotel to pack my bags and catch the train home.
Empty and familiar station | Photo courtesy of the author
On the train, I began to contact the local hospital by telephone, because I must not interrupt or delay the needle arrangement. But the answers given to me by several local hospitals are not to inject drugs prescribed by foreign hospitals.
What did we do? We also contacted several private clinics near our home. The clinic opens at seven at the earliest. And my exam starts at 8: 30, in another city which is an hour and a half drive from home. Driving to work will definitely pass through congested roads. Count, you will be late for the exam no matter where you have an injection in the morning.
In desperation, I had to call the provincial hospital. After explaining my illness clearly, the doctor who answered the phone comforted me: "Never mind, it doesn't matter if an injection is delayed for a few hours occasionally ..."
My heart, which was originally a knot in one's heart, finally stretched out. If so, I can wait for the exam the next afternoon and then go to the clinic for an injection.
Even so, the time on the day of the exam is still very tight for me: the exam ends at 3: 30 pm, and the last local train to the provincial capital is distributed at 5: 55. The examination room is an hour and a half drive from my home, and my home is half an hour drive from the railway station. In the meantime, I must go to the clinic. Besides, I will meet rush hour. However, if you miss the train to the provincial capital, the early review of the next day will inevitably be delayed. It is possible that the dominant follicles that have already grown will be discharged by themselves during this period, and the consequences are unimaginable.
But on my own, it is almost impossible to win the race against time.
eight
Just then, I remembered a good friend, who recently moved, and now lives in the community where I entered the school.
So, that night, I sent my suitcase back to my friend's house in the provincial capital, and then I stayed in a small hotel near the test center. The test center is located in a remote place, the facilities of the small hotel are simple, and there are several men next door clamoring to play cards until midnight. I was lost for about three or four hours, and finally stayed up until dawn.
When I hurried to the examination room, I saw from a distance that the examination staff were busy checking their certificates, taking their temperature and guiding the examination room at the school gate. ...
The steamed stuffed bun in the school canteen smells good. I only drank half a cup of soybean milk, for fear of going to the toilet in the middle of the exam. In the corridor outside the examination room, the candidates stood sparsely, some reading books and some discussing with each other.
Affected by the epidemic, the exam was answered by computer. As soon as the bell rang, the scratching sound on the keyboard spread in the classroom at once. Occasionally, candidates suddenly stand up and report the computer black screen to the examiner, which adds a little tension to the serious atmosphere in the classroom. My palms are starting to sweat.
In the second exam, I vaguely felt that the candidate sitting on my right had been glancing at my computer screen. If I go back to school, in the examination room, I can't let others copy my answers! But now I can't manage that much, and the amount of questions is very large. It is most important to finish the problem quickly.
The exam in the morning was over soon, and the candidates went to lunch noisily. I avoided the crowd, stood alone in the corner of the stairs, dug up the knowledge points I had sorted out before, and quickly searched-there were a few places on the test paper that I vaguely remembered, and although it was finally full of words, I had to confirm it quickly.
I quickly flipped through, knowing: I should be able to answer multiple-choice questions; Case analysis and short answer, according to the marking rules, can you barely pass?
On-site examination paper in the afternoon. When I saw the test paper, I was not familiar with the questions before. I was a little flustered when I chose one of the three questions. The candidates around me have already started to answer questions, and I am still hesitant to choose which topic. After repeated comparison, I ruled out two unfamiliar topics, listed the frames in turn on the computer, and then began to fill in the contents in detail.
Maybe it took me a long time to choose the theme and idea. My paper 10 minutes to finish. After scanning the full text roughly and correcting typos and formats, the system will run.
I packed my papers, pens and paper in a hurry, and I went out with everyone.
The candidates around get together in twos and threes and discuss while walking. A girl loudly said to her companion, "Oh, my God, it's over. I can finally go home and have a good sleep!" " This half a month, can let this exam torture to death ... "I can't help smiling.
At the moment, I feel more relaxed than ever. Even after the college entrance examination, I have never been so relaxed. I don't feel how well I did in the exam, but I simply feel that I have finally got rid of an worry.
nine
There is no time to stay.
My friend was waiting for me outside the examination room with a suitcase-because my husband couldn't get away from working overtime on the project, my friend left my one-year-old second son with her mother-in-law, and she undertook the task of picking me up.
Out of the examination room, I saw my friend's car from a distance. To my surprise, not only she came, but also her husband and her eldest son who went to kindergarten.
It turned out that my friend was worried about the serious traffic jam after work. She was uneasy about her driving skills and asked her husband to be an errand driver.
As soon as she got on the bus, her eldest son sweetly called me "Aunt" and stuffed me with a handbag. Knowing that I had to catch a train, the little boy kindly prepared a bag of fruit and snacks for me. In an instant, my heart melted.
My friend's house took me to the clinic to push the needle, and then I had a simple meal near the station. They sent me to the waiting room before checking in.
Just in time, we waved goodbye in the night.
When I got on the train, I sent a message to my mother and husband saying that I was safe, and then I was free.
I have been running around these days and slept a lot at night. I thought I would sleep soundly on the train after all this. However, at this moment, I am completely awake. The mind is unusually clear, like the night sky without the moon and stars outside the window, which is particularly quiet.
When I arrived at the hotel, it was already past eleven in the evening. After a simple wash, I set the alarm clock to get up early and fell into the quilt.
The next morning, I still took blood and B-ultrasound, and everything was up to standard. Then arrange for me to have an injection at night, and then give me an anesthetic to take eggs. The whole process went smoothly.
After the night needle, I walked alone on the way back to the hotel from the hospital | Photo courtesy of the author
You can go home and rest for a while after taking eggs, and the results of embryo screening will not be known until two months later.
10
Then, I began to think about the exam results.
I can't pass all three subjects at once, and I have to prepare for a make-up exam one month later! I go online almost every day to check whether the results have been published, and I often dream about exams and do problems at night. In my dream, the teacher congratulated me on passing the exam, and my old colleague said regretfully that I had to make up the exam. ...
Three weeks later, in mid-June 165438+ 10, just when I was about to forget this matter, one evening, WeChat group blew up the pot-it succeeded.
On my way home, I can't wait to go home and check it on the computer. I immediately clicked on the website with my mobile phone and entered my name and ID number. At the moment when the webpage jumped, I quickly locked the screen of my mobile phone. Take a few deep breaths and reopen the screen. ...
Theory: 83; Practical operation: 63; Comprehensive: 72.
My heart seems to have stopped beating. 63? I enlarged the page of my mobile phone and stared at it for a long time. It was' 63. More than 60 points, very close!
I passed the exam once! This national first-class qualification certificate, which will soon be out of print, will be available soon!
Since I lost my job and became a test-tube baby, my mood has been very low, and I often even collapsed to a person hiding and crying, feeling that life is too difficult. It seems that every step is hard, and there is nothing happy for a long time. I don't know when this depressing day will end.
This time after the first day of junior high school, I believe again: do one thing, don't lose heart, as long as you invest enough time and energy, you will definitely get something! The joy of passing this exam not only dispelled the long-standing haze in my heart, but also rekindled my enthusiasm for life and my courage and confidence in unlocking difficulties.
Perhaps this is the meaning of insisting on doing one thing-
The process is bitter and hard to stick to, but you still have to rely on yourself and try not to give up. Finally, at the moment when you water the flowers in the dry soil, you will understand that everything is worth it. After that, you will have the motivation to do other things. And this tenacity is worth repeating in other things.
National first-class human resource manager qualification certificate | Photo courtesy of the author
10
In mid-February, on the day prescribed by the doctor's advice, my husband and I went back to the provincial hospital together.
The results showed that only 1 frozen embryo was qualified after chromosome screening. At that moment, we were all lost-only 1 was portable, which meant we had no choice. Husband looked at the report for a long time and didn't speak. I couldn't help comforting him: "There are at least 1 qualified, aren't there?" Better than nothing! " This sentence is also comforting myself.
The doctor prescribed me oral medicine for a few days to adjust the endometrial thickness to the ideal thickness. On the afternoon of February 30, 65438, I had a frozen embryo transfer in the provincial hospital.
202 1, 1, 1 1, it's the day of my blood test.
The night before, my husband tossed and turned for a long time without falling asleep. I understand his concern.
The next morning, he accompanied me to the local hospital to draw blood. After a long wait of 3 hours, the HCG result came out. 1500+! Far beyond my expectations! I am going to be a mother!
My husband looked at the blood test results and his voice choked: "It's been half a year, and finally ... it's not in vain!"
Past experience, at this moment, scenes clearly emerge in front of my eyes: drawing dozens of tubes of blood from me, taking hundreds of pills, putting dozens of needles into the meat, dozens of trains going back and forth, countless sleepless nights. ...
Fortunately, everything is worth it.
The pictures in this article are all from the Internet.
(Text/audio is not in the center, this article is the exclusive launch of "Story Shop on Earth" and enjoys exclusive copyright authorization. Without authorization, no third party may reprint it, and offenders will be held accountable according to law. )