Educate children about their troubles.
First of all, parents arrange
Whether it is dressing, scheduling, making friends, or choosing an interest class, you can't make your own decisions. Adults' explanation is always: what children know is for your own good.
Parental arrangements are common in China. Either parents are not at ease, or they think their ideas are correct and important. In fact, even if children are young, they are still alone, and their interests and feelings need to be respected. They should have some autonomy. Only by giving them the opportunity to make their own decisions can they develop their own personality and not be opinionated. For making friends, we should give principled guidance, but it is best not to interfere specifically. In fact, what kind of friends have what benefits? Friends who don't study well may be bold, cautious and resourceful, and can also enrich their children's character. Shouldn't we adults have all kinds of friends?
Second, language injury.
Adults don't say it, but they don't know it? A good word warms three winters, but a bad word hurts June? If you are not a child, you will never feel scolded and despised by your parents.
Even in the face of your own children, don't talk. You have no choice. The younger a child is, the more dependent he is on his parents' evaluation. Negative comments and bad emotions do great harm to children. In fact, in the same sentence, there are different angles and ways to say that goodwill and encouragement can play a more positive role than accusation and depreciation.
8 study? check
Learning is life-oriented, and life is learning, without the freedom and fun of childhood; Do well in the exam, lest you be proud, and do badly in the exam? Is there a snowstorm tonight? .
It is understandable that parents want their children to get good grades, but the question is how to really help them. In fact, most parents have no effect on their children's requirements and supervision, which is thankless. On this issue, growth will be discussed in detail in the next issue of the magazine. Please read it.
Third, there is no privacy.
Keep a diary and turn over your schoolbag. Parents bully the weak in order to fully monitor us. They also call it "superior review".
Tell a story, there is a girl whose parents are afraid that she will take a detour in love and be inseparable from her. Her mobile phone was confiscated and her parents took turns to escort her after school. She was locked in the room when her children came home. Girls have great resistance to this. For adults? Color? Look, it turns out that the girl is pregnant under the strictest supervision of her parents. When the reporter interviewed, the girl said:? Turn in my mobile phone. I can borrow it from my classmate. I have the key to my house. When he came downstairs, he called me, so I threw the key out of the window. He opened the door at my house, and then I went out. It won't work if my parents lock me in the house. The more of them? Imprisonment? I, I want to give them some color to see see, I am pregnant for them? Color? , is that them? Forced? Get out. ? This is a very sad true story in reality. Not to mention the disrespect for children in this way, as far as the matter itself is concerned, guardianship and monitoring are not only ineffective, but also dangerous. No card, no flow, more than no? .
So, what if there is no monitoring? The most effective way is to establish children's reasonable attitudes and values. In short, what parents can do is to teach their children to choose, not to supervise, replace or force them to choose.
Fourth, being suspected of being wronged.
Having got high marks in exams and compositions and being suspected of plagiarism; The vase is broken and there is less money. The younger brother and sister cried and were thought to have done it themselves. I did a good thing out of kindness, but I screwed it up or didn't finish it. I was mistaken for naughty and severely criticized.
Without investigation, there is no right to speak, even if the child is naughty, ignorant and has? Criminal record? Before finding out the truth, we should also keep our doubts in our hearts and don't find fault easily. It's hard to be wronged. Such behavior is a great distrust and disrespect for children. Think about what it feels like to be suspected and wronged by friends or leaders, and you will know how much the child hurts.
Verbs (short for verb) are not respected.
Models are thrown away, wall paintings are torn off and small animals are given away or eaten. I did an embarrassing thing myself, and my parents told everyone.
A big reason why parents are not respected is that they were not respected by their parents when they were young. Parents who don't know how to protect their children's self-esteem are the most failed parents.
Intransitive verbs lack tolerance and understanding.
We are still young, and our thinking ability and physical ability are not mature. Many times, making mistakes and getting into trouble is far from our original intention, but we can't get the tolerance and understanding we deserve.
China people generally lack the spirit of trying, largely because when they were young, trying to fail was not tolerated and encouraged, so they dared not try. Parents and friends are advised to tolerate children's unintentional mistakes and encourage children to try their own ideas. Although it may not be successful, children will get opportunities to grow from it.
Suggestions on solving the problems of parents' education
Adults should agree.
Sometimes parents need to communicate, agree on the same thing and have a unified attitude. You are forbidden to gossip. You play the white face and I play the red face. Don't scold each other in front of the children. Otherwise, children often can't agree and don't know who to listen to. Over time, the status and prestige of adults in children's minds will disappear, and it will be more difficult to discipline children.
Don't stifle children's interest.
Learning is important, but interest is the source of stimulating children's creativity. What society needs now is not a reading machine, but an all-round generalist. Therefore, if the child shows a certain hobby, don't interfere, but encourage him, maybe this will become a skill of the child.
You might as well let the child answer if you nag.
Sometimes parents will tell their children something several times, especially mothers, for fear that their children will not understand and do what they want. This is what people often say. For most children, the last thing they want to hear and dislike is their parents' nagging. The more unwilling they are to listen, the more worried their parents are. On the contrary, double nagging, which has become a vicious circle. Parents often feel sad and worried: nagging is not for children. How can you be sensible if you don't tell them? ? It seems that only by endlessly telling children one truth after another is the best family education method.
When nagging, try a new method: turn nagging into asking questions. When you find a problem, turn what you want to say into asking a question and let the children speak. Maybe children speak better and more vividly than their parents. Don't put on airs when asking questions, be sincere and enthusiastic, and listen carefully to the children's answers. If the child is not completely right, don't rush to nag. You can ask again. Even if it is wrong, there is no need to publish an authoritative answer. Instead, he can subtly use questions to hint at his mistakes and make the child rethink.
Punishment by force is better than encouragement.
When the inner anger finally broke through the bottom line of patience, from verbal criticism to physical criticism, military punishment appeared! Punishment by force can't solve any problems, it will only intensify the contradictions between the two sides and make the study that might have continued run aground halfway; Under the fist of parents, the child's self-esteem is also shattered, which is easy to form the psychology of breaking the jar and breaking the fall, and even invulnerability to all criticisms. It is really a lose-lose situation.
Therefore, when the mother wants to punish by force, it is better to use encouragement instead, so that the child can accept criticism happily. Children need to find their own gap in comparison and real praise. When parents affirm their children's achievements, they will have the confidence to correct their mistakes. On the contrary, parents take a rude attitude towards their children's mistakes, and he is likely to become more rebellious. In fact, children's fragile hearts especially want to be affirmed by their parents, give them confidence and let them accept criticism happily. The art of criticism lies in positive reinforcement rather than negative reinforcement. Instead of strengthening children's weaknesses, or denying them completely, it is better to look at their small achievements and good signs, keep them in mind, strengthen their good side, give necessary guidance, let children see their potential and enhance their self-confidence.
Advice on educating children
1. Love children, respect children and be their bosom friends.
In life, we should respect children, treat them as equals, establish a relationship of mutual trust and form a close friend relationship with them. Only in this way can we win their trust. Parents should love their children, maybe you will say that this truth is simple enough. What parents don't love their children? But some parents' love can't be accepted and recognized by children, so I often give my naughty son a kind hug, a shallow smile, a persuasive persuasion and a small gift, which will naturally make children feel the love given by their parents and enhance their trust in their parents. Therefore, our parents should use love to cultivate their children's good behavior habits.
2. The premise of good communication between parents and children is listening.
Parents should put down their lofty posture, learn to communicate with their children on an equal footing, and calm down and listen to everything their children have to say. Even if you are busy and tired at this time, you should listen attentively and ask your children from time to time. Is there anything interesting in school? Are you satisfied with your performance in class? Did your smiling face increase again today? Whenever I ask my son this question, he is always excited to report everything to me. When he expresses his views on things, I will respect his opinions, discuss with him and give him enough confidence and self-confidence. I think it is very important to cultivate children's character. Listening is an art as well as a kind of learning.
3. Encourage children to dare to meet challenges
Today's era is an era of fierce competition, so it is necessary to cultivate children's sense of competition from an early age and dare to meet challenges. In study, I often encourage my son to say: You are amazing, you are smart, and you can answer such a difficult knowledge correctly. My mother admires you. He was very happy to hear this, which also aroused his enthusiasm for learning. When he was in trouble, I kept cheering him up. At this time, I will work hard with my child and infect him with practical actions, which has also been achieved.
Fourth, educate children to face setbacks correctly.
People will inevitably encounter setbacks in their lives. Suffering is a great wealth of life. Misfortune and frustration can make people sink, and can also cast a strong will and achieve a full life. Suffering is a good teacher in life. He can teach children to learn to treat all problems with gratitude and positive attitude, and bravely participate in social competition.
Verbs (abbreviation of verb) cultivate children's adaptability.
In practice, the ability to use one's own intelligence and other factors for self-control and self-transformation, to realize the integration of subjectivity and objectivity, and thus to ensure the normal conduct of practical activities has been the basic ability for survival since ancient times. In today's era of rapid changes and fierce competition in human society, people need stronger adaptability. Whoever has strong adaptability will survive, develop better and walk down the other side of success.
6. Reading with children
Parents and children can get happiness and satisfaction from reading together, feel love and warmth, and sometimes even become interested in the book itself.
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