What impressed me most in the book is Nietzsche's sentence: "If a person knows what he is living for, he can endure all the hardships imposed on him by life."
The author uses a tree to describe the performance of a person's life, and the roots represent genes and beliefs, which is consistent with what China traditional culture advocates: to inherit the excellent traditions of ancestors and the teachings of ancient sages, to be a moral person, to achieve a solid foundation, thick trunk, lush foliage, to resist all kinds of difficulties and adversity, and to achieve a successful and happy life.
There is also a feeling that those so-called inspirational stories and chicken soup for the soul can't actually improve people's adversity quotient. Just like drugs, people's blood can only boil at the moment of drug use, and once the drug effect passes, it will return to its original shape.
Just like mountaineers, people will have three different performances when facing adversity: giving up, camping and climbing.
Cultivating the leadership model of adversity quotient seems to solve all emotional problems and get along well with yourself.
You might as well study this book and take it out to continue reading if necessary.
The price of this book
This is an era of equal emphasis on opportunities and crises. Changes are constant and challenges are endless. Facing the unpredictable future, we need to have the ability to resist blows, learn to correctly identify and respond to adversity, and cultivate and enhance individual resilience and resilience, and the level of adversity quotient (AQ) is the embodiment of this ability. The author introduces the three theoretical pillars of adversity quotient in detail, and shows readers how to deal with adversity and how to reshape life, so as to surpass themselves and control life.
You'll get
* Understand what adversity quotient is and the related theories of adversity quotient.
* Measure the four dimensions of adversity quotient core.
* Improve adversity quotient's guiding tools for themselves and others.
Selected golden sentences
1. Staring at the boundless ocean or sky will make you realize how insignificant your problems are in front of the vast universe.
The subconscious mind is more likely to form habits than the conscious mind.
Waiting for the storm of adversity to end is waiting for the end of life.
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Brief introduction of the author
Paul Stoltz (Paul)
The proponent of adversity quotient theory is also the developer and researcher of adversity quotient evaluation and adversity quotient development projects and tools. He was awarded the honorary title of "Top Ten Most Influential Thinkers in the World" by HR magazine and "100 Contemporary Thinker" by Executive Excellence magazine. He has been teaching and lecturing for MBA, EMBA and entrepreneurship development programs of Stanford University, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Harvard University and Cornell University for a long time. Over the years, he has been committed to providing consulting services in the fields of leadership, performance and organizational culture for leading enterprises around the world.
Jinghua Du Jie
The following is an interpretation of adversity quotient's essence for readers' reference. Welcome to share. It shall not be used for commercial purposes without permission.
catalogue
First, we need adversity quotient.
Second, understand adversity.
Third, the understanding and application of adversity quotient
Fourth, stop catastrophic thinking.
Help others improve their adversity quotient.
Upper guide bearing
First, we need adversity quotient.
We have realized that high IQ is not a necessary condition for success. Emotional intelligence is often more important than IQ.
For example, Ted Kasinski, a child prodigy who entered Harvard University at the age of 16, was called "the geek of university aviation bomb" by the FBI. Although he has a superior IQ, he is a complete social moron. Throughout his student days, he was almost invisible and didn't associate with anyone. He was nicknamed "Harvard Hermit". He put his extraordinary wisdom into developing bombs and "cleverly" evaded legal risks, resulting in three deaths and 22 injuries.
Some people have high IQ and good EQ, but they still can't play their potential. We may encounter the following questions: Why do some people who are equally smart and adaptable persist until the end, while others stagnate or even give up?
Emotional intelligence and IQ, the two fast horses that used to run, seem to be gradually unable to keep up with the pace of this unpredictable era. Facing more and more changes and challenges, we need adversity quotient.
At present, more and more organizations and enterprises begin to accept the concept of adversity quotient and carry out adversity quotient training, which has achieved good training results and greatly changed employees.
1 1 Jenny who surprised her colleague's chin in the * * * incident was one of them. Jenny once had 10 1 reasons to shirk responsibility. After she participated in the training program of adversity quotient with suspicion, she listed more than a dozen methods she had learned with great interest. Three weeks later, before an important meeting began, everyone found that the computer needed to play multimedia content was missing a power cord. Just when the speaker thought he was going to present the content on the whiteboard, Jenny came back excitedly with the power cord-this was the result of her calling more than 20 suppliers. She succeeded in controlling adversity.
Adversity quotient is not only a measuring tool to measure the ability to resist stress, but also a set of life philosophy and lifestyle that can be learned and applied to help you break through adversity, cheer up and learn.
Second, understand adversity.
1. Three kinds of people facing adversity
Tell a true story first.
On Friday, May 15th, 3/kloc-0 climbers from five expeditions were caught in a storm when they reached the summit of Mount Everest. A few hours later, some people survived, others were killed, including the world-famous mountaineering guide. Baker Withers also fell unconscious in the snow, but a few hours later, he woke up from the extreme cold. With high willpower and longing for his family, he went to the base camp, although he lost his gloves to keep out the cold, although he realized that his life span was only about three or four hours. Fortunately, he met his teammates, and the thermos bottle and his tenacious will saved him.
With the help of this mountaineering story, the author divides people facing adversity into three categories: quitters, campers and climbers. Quitters are happy-go-lucky, covet comfort, and like to escape and give up. The campers also worked hard, but after gaining a certain status and achievements, they relaxed and camped in the same place. Climbers, on the other hand, are not only looking for a temporary title or position, they regard life as a long-distance race, are not in a hurry for temporary achievements, and never stop exploring possibilities and pursuing Excellence.
Thoreau, the author of Walden, said: "The people who are most afraid of death are those who know that they have never really lived." Nietzsche, on the other hand, thinks: "If a person knows what he is living for, he can endure all the hardships imposed on him by life." Climbers look up to their pursuit clearly and firmly, endure all kinds of hardships and go forward bravely.
2. The Tree of Success
We have different numbers of basic elements of success, and we also know what the necessary conditions for success are. However, those who can't resist adversity can't develop their potential to succeed; And people with high adversity quotient can thrive in the mountains like trees rooted in gravel. "Tree of Success" is a novel comprehensive model, which illustrates the basic role of adversity quotient in enduring adversity and exerting its potential.
Leaves represent our personal performance and are the most easily seen part of us. It is easy for us to see the individual output, and it is also the easiest to be evaluated or evaluated on this project.
Branches represent our talents and ambitions, which are composed of your skills, experience, knowledge and other abilities, plus motivation, enthusiasm, ambition, ambition and other ambitions. Talent and desire are indispensable to success.
The trunk represents wisdom, health and character. In particular, the character with the characteristics of justice, fairness, honesty and kindness is the basis for us to get along smoothly and peacefully.
Genes, family and beliefs, as roots, play a vital role in success. These factors lurk in the deepest part of our hearts and exert a subtle influence on us.
Such a tree of success constitutes our different manifestations in the face of adversity.
3. Adversity has always existed
Is life easier now than in the past? Maybe the old people's answers will surprise you.
The author interviewed his 88-year-old optimistic grandmother, 92-year-old grandfather and more than 200 elderly people aged 75 to 95. He thought that the older generation would accuse people of being displaced by war, lack of materials, backward communication system and few entertainment projects, which made the author grateful for the convenience of modern life.
However, the fact is that grandparents think that life is more difficult now: "Competition, information ... the pace is getting faster and faster. I always have time to spend with my family and friends. Now, people have no time at all. "
Technology has brought convenience to people, but at the same time it has greatly increased the daily workload: with airplanes and trains, transportation has become more convenient, but travel has also increased; Advanced communication technology makes it unnecessary for people to meet each other across Qian Shan, but communication has also increased dramatically, and telephone voice has been constantly increasing. Our life has not become as beautiful and comfortable as imagined because of technological innovation.
Adversity has always existed, and we are deeply involved.
4. Three levels of adversity
Each of us is faced with adversity challenges from social, professional and personal levels.
The narrow definition of success by public opinion environment and the pressure brought by imperfect social system have caused social adversity. The turbulent working environment, the increasingly developed artificial intelligence, the struggle between colleagues, the dissatisfaction of customers and so on. , constitute a workplace adversity. The increasing burden of family, the deterioration of physical quality, the attack of "middle-aged crisis" and the anxiety and fragility of mentality have caused the most silent personal adversity.
5. Four dangerous forks leading to the summit.
We may have realized the crisis and are trying to save it and climb up desperately. However, after all, the road is getting harder and harder, and we may have embarked on a dangerous fork in the road.
Fork 1: A climber becomes a camper.
The camp is so tempting. Many climbers who had been bent on progress gradually lost their enterprising spirit, were attracted by comfortable camps, stopped, set up camp and spent the rest of their lives safely. They sacrifice their dreams, satisfaction and self-realization, and want to maintain the appearance of comfort and stability brought by hard work.
Fork 2: Technology is omnipotent
People will rely on science and technology instead of human beings to solve problems, from relying on their own sense of mission and ability to the progress of science and technology. Such a change is a sign that you don't want to take responsibility or solve problems. Once a person evades responsibility, he loses control, power and responsibility.
Fork 3: Beat chicken blood
"Hold on! Hold on! You will survive and win! " This high-spirited and exciting conversation, like drinking a cup of coffee in the morning, can refresh your mind. You got a little much-needed encouragement, so you felt better inside for a while.
However, the fact is that this industry that relies on "inspiration" has no practical effect on improving adversity, although its market value is as high as 24 billion US dollars. It calls on everyone to shout "yes" and tell you that "you can swim with sharks and fly with eagles", and brainwash everyone with sensory isolation until they really believe that they can do anything. But once you wake up, the dilemma still exists.
Fork 4: helpless-hopeless cycle
Helplessness makes people lose hope, and despair becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which proves how helpless a person is. The two mutually confirm and promote each other, forming an inescapable closed loop, sucking up people's vitality and vitality. If you go to this step, it is very easy to cause people's fighting spirit to be scattered and eventually give up.
Third, the understanding and application of adversity quotient
1. Three theoretical pillars of adversity quotient
Pillar 1: cognitive psychology
Cognitive psychology is a research achievement about controlling one's own destiny, which is all-encompassing and increasing in number. The most important one is learned helplessness, who was rated as "the milestone theory of the 20th century" by the American Psychological Association. It explains why many people choose to give up or quit when facing the challenges of life.
This major breakthrough in the field of human psychology was discovered by Dr. Martin seligman when he was still in college. He observed several experiments of electrocuting dogs and found that some dogs didn't dodge after being electrocuted, but just lay down and endured the pain.
In order to find out the reason, he carefully designed an experiment of electrocuting dogs. In the first stage of the experiment, he arranged three groups of dogs. Dogs in group A and group B also received mild electric shock, but dogs in group A could control the switch of electric shock, while dogs in group B could not stop electric shock. The dogs in group C were tied up and did not receive electric shock. In the second phase of the experiment, he gave three groups of dogs a mild electric shock at the same time, but it also provided a convenient way to escape.
The results show that dogs in group A and group C can quickly jump over the baffle and get rid of discomfort. Group B dogs sobbed, but didn't try to escape-these dogs had learned to be helpless.
Learned helplessness internalized the concept of "nothing can be done" and lost his sense of control over unfavorable events. This weak psychological state will weaken people's motivation and creativity in all aspects, resulting in groups of campers and quitters.
There is a view closely related to learned helplessness, and evolved from it, that is, a person's success is largely influenced by how he views adversity. People who believe that adversity is persistent and inherent are more likely to break free when encountering difficulties; People who think that adverse events are external, short-lived and have limited influence are more positive and optimistic and full of motivation.
Researchers have found that girls are more vulnerable to permanent and universal criticism. Girls get more evaluations such as "lack of talent", while boys are criticized temporarily, such as "you don't care" and "you don't care". Therefore, a large part of children are attributed to improper internalization and permanence. This is worthy of the attention of educators and parents.
Pillar II: A New Theory of Health
There is a very popular view that even continues to this day: body and mind are independent entities. But in fact, chemicals that transmit human emotions will directly affect human health. Our sense of control over life is closely related to our emotional and physical health.
Madelon Visintainer, then dean of the School of Pediatric Nursing at Yale University School of Medicine, made a very successful experiment. In the experiment, she injected a certain amount of cancer cells into mice and then divided them into three groups. She taught a group of people to press the lever to turn off the electric shock switch; Let the second group learn to be helpless; The third group is the control group, with the same mental state. Results The cancer rate of the helpless group was more than 2.5 times that of the control group and about 2 times that of the control group.
This experiment proved learned helplessness for the first time that lack of control will not only lead to the spread of cancer cells, but even cause cancer.
Pillar three: brain science
Once, the author was puzzled where the phrase "2 1 day forms a habit" came from. He has seen many experts hold this view, but when he tried to further understand the theory, he didn't get the corresponding reply and explanation. So he contacted Mark, head of neurophysiology at UCLA Medical Center. Dr. Newell, ask him, "How long does it take to form a habit?"
The person in charge asked him, "How long did you learn not to touch the hot stove?"
"About a second."
"Actually, it is 100 milliseconds."
The person in charge explained: When you touch a hot stove, there will be a loud alarm in your brain, which will immediately make you realize where your hand is.
That loud alarm can make people understand the subconscious thinking mode generated in the basal ganglia, that is, a subconscious and unconscious area, and transmit it to the conscious area of the brain, that is, the cerebral cortex. Children are very attentive when they are studying shoelaces; But when this new thinking mode is practiced repeatedly, it enters the subconscious and unconscious areas of the brain, that is, the basal ganglia.
The more you do something, the more you become unconscious and subconscious. This habit will change immediately and will be strengthened over time. To change bad habits, we must start from the conscious area of the brain, open up new neural pathways, instantly reach new cognition and shape new habits.
Changes can be made immediately.
2. Four dimensions of adversity quotient-core
Just as your strength, speed, coordination and IQ can determine your score on the tennis court, the four core dimensions can determine your overall adversity quotient.
Sense of control
The question that the sense of control explores is: How much control do you think you have over adverse events?
If you want to feel in control, you must first believe that "anything can be done." Even in the worst case, you always have a little control. You can always control how you should respond, and hope and action are born from this.
O- ownership bearing capacity
The higher the dimension score, the greater your responsibility for the result. It helps us redefine responsibility from a constructive and pragmatic perspective. Compared with people with low adversity quotient, people with high adversity quotient are more willing to bear the difficult consequences. This responsibility prompted them to take action.
R-reach influence degree
The question of the influence dimension is: How much will this adversity affect other aspects of my life? People with low adversity quotient will amplify a small setback and spread it to other aspects of life.
On the contrary, the higher the score of the influence dimension, the more likely it is to control the influence scope of the problem in the current event and prevent it from adding pressure to life.
E-endurance? continuity
This dimension mainly discusses two related questions: how long will adversity last? How long will the cause of adversity last?
Many people with low adversity quotient will prolong the influence time of adversity indefinitely, thinking that it will be a shame or shadow of his life, and are more inclined to attribute failure to eternal and irresistible factors, thus refusing to change.
3. A sharp weapon to improve adversity quotient.
Adversity quotient is not fixed, quitters and campers can also become climbers. The use of leadership tools can help people constantly improve adversity quotient and improve the way to deal with adversity.
Listen, listen to your own bad reaction.
The first skill we need to master is the ability to quickly detect adversity. Find adversity before you can deal with it.
If a madman comes at you, yells at you, calls you a loser, or claims that the end of the world is coming, you must ignore it. But when the person who makes a hullabaloo about becomes ourselves and keeps instilling these ideas into our minds, we are hypnotized by ourselves.
Therefore, we should use the same method to make the brain pay attention to such a very important thing as adversity. This ability to keep the brain alert will enable us to quickly cultivate the consciousness of climbers. Whenever we find adversity, we can remind ourselves with Donald Duck or other extremely exaggerated and funny voices: adversity! In this way, you can quickly realize and train your sense of smell for adversity.
Explore, explore your responsibility for the results.
Even if adversity is not caused by you, when you look around and find that only you can solve the problem, we need to be duty-bound to solve it. In short, it means taking responsibility or taking action to solve problems.
Excessive self-blame and shirking responsibility cannot enhance our sense of control. However, when we accept the appropriate blame and decide to learn from our actions and take responsibility for some of the results, we can regain our sense of control and urge ourselves to take action.
Analyze, analyze evidence
Analyzing evidence is a simple questioning process, which allows you to examine, question and finally get rid of the negative part of your adverse reaction. We can analyze adversity from three questions:
Is there any evidence that I can't control it?
Is there any evidence that adversity will definitely affect other aspects of my life?
Is there any evidence that adversity will last too long?
Usually, the answers to these questions areno. If your answer is yes and you think your situation is bad enough, then look at the story of Jim Abbott, an American one-armed baseball player.
Jim Albert has only one arm, but he wants to be a baseball player. He learned to put on and take off gloves quickly with one hand, so that he could receive service quickly. In order to exercise his physical fitness, he first learned hurdles and became the Olympic champion of hurdles. Later, he played for a professional baseball team and became a respected baseball pitcher.
By contrast, is your predicament really that difficult to overcome?
Do, do something.
At this point, it is dangerous to just make a list of actions, which will only make you feel relaxed, but it will not improve the unfavorable situation. Through the funnel method, you will move from making a list to taking action.
You should choose an action that needs to be implemented first, and then decide when to do it. These final steps will allow your thoughts to converge into a clear and planned behavior through the funnel.
Fourth, stop catastrophic thinking.
Cognitive psychologists believe that among all kinds of adverse reactions, the most debilitating reaction is catastrophe. Catastrophic is to regard daily trifles as major setbacks and those setbacks as irreparable disasters. At this time, the victim's mentality is most likely to surface. The victim's mentality is a powerful trap, which is often used as an excuse to induce people to give up their actions. This mentality usually stems from your lack of control and responsibility for the adversity you encounter.
We must interfere with or intercept catastrophic thinking. With the help of distraction and remodeling, you can stop thinking.
1. divergence method
Distraction is designed to help you interrupt your negative reaction immediately and may change your mental and physical state.
1) Strike the table and shout "Stop"
Knock hard on the table and make your hands feel pain. The pain and sound send strong signals to your brain, forming a kind of nerve interference. This will immediately block your thoughts.
2) Divert attention and pay attention to irrelevant things.
Paying attention to irrelevant things is a quiet and less exaggerated way, which is more suitable for public environment. This technology is both quiet and flexible. You can use it anytime, anywhere.
3) Use a rubber bracelet to "bounce off" negative emotions.
For example, basketball players "Wolf King" Garnett and Buckley, in order to prevent losing their temper on the court and causing more conflicts, both of them have a rubber bracelet. Once you find yourself losing your temper, pull up your bracelet and let yourself bounce to stop the spread of bad thoughts.
4) Exercise
Sometimes we need to wait until we are refreshed to deal with adversity. The most effective way to restore the spirit is to exercise, fill the brain with endorphins and release stress through intense physical activity.
2. Remodeling method
Remodeling helps you correctly understand the adversity you are in, thus preventing the disaster from happening. The behavior of catastrophic events is essentially a process of self-indulgence. This makes your perspective deviate and you only see yourself for the time being. Remodeling makes your perspective balanced and open, allowing you to see the world outside yourself.
1) Focus on the target again.
This method can remind you what your initial intention is, or for what purpose you encountered this problem. When you feel that you can't see the overall situation clearly, it is the best time to use this skill.
2) miniaturization
Being small means deliberately putting yourself in a grand environment and making things around you make you look small. Some people like to walk on the beach, while others choose to stare at the stars. Standing under the boundless sky or in front of the Wang Yang sea will make you realize how insignificant your problem is.
3) Help others
Helping people with bigger problems can help you see your problems correctly at once. When we are helping others, we can look at our misfortunes from a more humble perspective.
Help others improve their adversity quotient.
1. Ask questions, not preach.
One of the most powerful functions of the LEAD tool is its versatility. Almost anyone with logical thinking ability can use it. We can use this tool to help relatives and friends and improve their sense of control. According to the four core dimensions of adversity quotient, we can ask the receiver: who can be responsible for this? Who can change all this?
Most people hate being told what to do. Telling a friend how to live directly cannot improve his adversity quotient. Therefore, an important content of the LEAD tool is to ask questions rather than preach.
2. The identity change of climbers and campers
Every climber has a camper in his heart. This is the same for individuals and organizations. Therefore, climbers must try their best not to be satisfied with their achievements. Our inner desire for stability, comfort, security and peace cannot be ignored.
However, every camper has a climber in his heart. Everyone is born with a core driving force to push himself up.
Florence Rogers, CEO of a credit union, was in a meeting when one of the worst terrorist attacks in American history occurred. The explosion killed 32 of her employees 18, and no one survived in the meeting room except Rogers.
But Rogers did not become panic or further disaster. Seven hours after the explosion, Rogers called an emergency meeting of the board members, who felt that they had a great responsibility to their customers. She and other staff quickly worked out coping strategies, which effectively prevented the phenomenon of credit cooperatives from running and restored the trust of customers. Because of its rapid, rapid and high adversity quotient response, credit cooperatives can survive. 1995, its assets increased by $3 million.
As a leader or coach, what you have to do is to liberate climbers in others' hearts and reverse the mentality of campers or quitters.
conclusion
We can't choose the era or environment in which we live. The only choice is how to deal with it effectively and actively. The concept of adversity quotient and the leading tools provided in the book are sharp tools for us to actively deal with unfavorable environment. Life may be hard, but the way you deal with adversity determines your fate.