Having said that, in fact, many women almost never thought that such a thing would happen to them. When it really happened, they panicked. I don't know why, what to do.
Husband betrays marriage, wife is heartbroken, is it divorce or again?
Divorce, reluctant to part with the feelings of these years, can not be separated from it, the pain of being derailed will make you unbearable.
If you do suffer from marital betrayal, how should you handle it with dignity and elegance?
Below, I will take Xiaoman, a classmate who just got rid of this pain, as an example to tell you how to defend your marriage when you are betrayed by marriage and confront a powerful third party!
Student example:
Hello, teacher. My husband cheated me. I feel that woman is really in love. Now you are considering marrying me. I don't want to lose this marriage, but I don't know how to save my husband's heart. I hope you can help me. What should many people do if a man cheats after marriage?
My husband and I have been married for almost 15 years, and have a child of 10 and a daughter of 6 years old.
My husband and I started our business from scratch. When we married him, we were really poor. My parents are very resistant, so my wife is not very kind to me. My husband is very kind to me, which is very good.
My husband and I started our own business, engaged in freight logistics and cold chain logistics. After the sale, we gradually got hope and our daily life became better. Everyone bought an RV, gave birth to a child, and my wife's concept of me gradually improved.
After accidentally stepping into our second baby, my husband immediately explicitly asked me to leave work and look after the two children at home, so I started the daily life of a full-time wife. Frankly speaking, I may be very tired, but both children are very obedient and my husband loves me very much. I think it is worth it.
For a while, my husband was busy with business and went out early and came back late every day. Please take overtime leave. I'm worried about him. I told him that you are all bosses now, so don't work hard for what employees can do. He said that it is natural to be diligent in order to make this family better.
I mentioned several times that I would return to the company for help, but he refused. I thought he was heartbroken, but who knows, he cheated on his trainee secretary who just came to the company!
I really can't believe that this man who promised to love me all his life pretended to be a traitor in private in order to make this family lively!
I questioned him the night I learned the news. I asked him what the reason was, and did he still want this home?
He said, I didn't want you to know and I didn't want to hurt you. After all, you have suffered with me. Actually, I don't want to talk to you anymore. I have any feelings for you. Let's separate.
I cried and shouted to him, "I have invested so much for you. Are you really going to leave this house without me and my children?" "I dragged my two children to cry with me. He didn't even look at it and kept saying he was leaving.
I kept crying and begging him not to leave. His attitude is really cold, saying that he really fell in love with someone else, and let others choose whether to maintain the superficial marriage or divorce immediately.
I really feel that the sky is falling. What did I do wrong? If a person is rich, he will be affected.
I wanted to talk to my husband again. He said decisively that there was no need to talk, so I went to his good friends, relatives and friends to help persuade him. If they convince him, he won't even go home.
I had to go to the enterprise to find him. Who knows that he can't see me at all, so he immediately asked the security guard to tell me to leave.
The man who said he loved me at that time is so heartless now. Everyone has been divorced like that for more than two months. I don't know what to do, teacher. Please help me.
Teacher analysis:
Why does every marriage suddenly need to encounter emotional shallowness and empathy?
Because love has always been full of romance and enthusiasm, and marriage is a long training in daily life, but most couples have no working ability to solve the marriage dilemma. Men can't stand the temptation, and women have the ability to solve the unfortunate marriage.
If you want to fight a good marriage war when your marriage is violated by a third party, you must first get to know your opponent gradually.
Common types and disadvantages of third parties are as follows:
1, weak and lovely
This kind of women often take advantage of their fetal sex advantage, shy, weak and lovable, which makes men feel heartache when they see it. They are very scheming, and it is quite possible to lure men to be irrational, because men usually can't control their desire for protection.
To deal with this kind of third party, you need to take a strong point of view to defend the influence of your main room and let her put her in her place.
2. Look for short-term stimuli.
In short, this kind of woman is here to have fun. Their powerful people are not easy to leave because of various dangers in the main room, but they also have their own shortcomings, that is, they are very easy to love vanity and just want to pursue perfect mystery.
Therefore, it is necessary to learn to befriend such a third party, attract her husband with sincerity and waiting, and let him know that such a woman is not easy for him to return.
3, the spiritual essence of the soul * * * singing type
This kind of woman is the most terrible. Because of their strong perception and perception, they attach great importance to spiritual communication, which usually makes men feel that she is the one who really understands him, and then produces spiritual dependence.
To deal with such a third party, you must contend with her, continue to destroy her extreme imagination of your husband with the reality of oil, salt, sauce and vinegar, and then partially solve her constant entanglement.
Common types of third parties can help you analyze and judge the marital status today, but if you want to purposefully analyze the problems and change the status quo, you should also combine your details to make a powerful plan of frustration.
If you are also experiencing such a marriage dilemma and don't know how to solve it, you can send a message to the teacher immediately and customize your exclusive retention plan.
The teacher with good feelings analyzed the problems in marriage for Xiaoman according to her personal situation.
Student questions:
1, changes in emotional style.
Xiaoman said that in the first two years of her husband's marriage, the relationship between husband and wife was sweet and warm, and her husband was very moved that she could marry him. Because she was too poor, she usually spoiled her anyway and stood beside her when her mother-in-law had problems.
Xiaoman has long been used to taking out his anger on her husband, but he has neglected the development trend of her husband's work. A person's sense of value will increase with his own value. When he makes money, he certainly doesn't want to be humble at home anymore.
Xiaoman _ is very concerned about the improvement of her husband's confidence and feels that he will have no reason to bear himself.
No matter who happens at this moment, as long as you think a little, it is very easy to attract this man who has long been tired of the home center.
It is inconvenient for men to have an affair because the women outside are young and beautiful. It is very likely that a man will find himself in the whole process of interacting with others.
Nothing in front of you, a treasure in front of other women, he will naturally choose to run to others.
2. Use children as shirkers.
When there is an extramarital affair in marriage, the wife will feel sad and painful, make a scene, choose to pull the child to the front line of the battlefield, reprimand the man for being extreme in front of the baby every day, try to make him feel that guilty, or use the child as a way of negotiation in an attempt to attract the man.
For a man, his wife may lose affection because of emotional changes, but the child is always the softest area in his heart, so as a father, he must maintain a strong brand image in front of his children.
When Xiaoman did that, the child obviously caused his father's hatred and dissatisfaction, which made Xiaoman's husband feel depressed and rejected. Imagine that a man himself has been talking to his wife at home, and he has a sense of belonging and superiority. Coupled with the hostility of the child, it will become the last straw to crush his dependence on this family.
Therefore, Xiaoman used children to intimidate or punish her husband, which led to mutual destruction and shirked her husband's responsibility.
3. Low EQ and IQ solve marriage problems.
Xiaoman knew that after her husband cheated, he lost his rational thinking because of emotional excitement, so his personal behavior was based on venting his emotions and revenging his husband. She fought and made trouble, taking the child as a lifeline, immediately put pressure on her husband's relatives and friends and went to the company to find fault. It takes two to make a slap in the face, and the husband is pushed out step by step.
Men are most afraid that women will put things at home in public, which will seriously affect their brand image of the times and the evaluation of others. Xiaoman's personal behavior made her husband lose his self-esteem, but it made him more and more blatant.
So, as you can see, Xiaoman's husband has no passion for her, is unwilling to meet, and is determined to divorce.
Many women are as helpless as Xiaoman when dealing with their own marriage problems. Because we have practical experience and professional knowledge to solve them, we usually become slaves of our own mentality because of anger and pain. Fortunately, Xiaoman usually cares about the feelings of beautiful women, and also understands that when encountering emotional problems, the specific guidance of technical majors is more reasonable than random actual operation.
She found everyone in time, and after we analyzed the real problems for her, she chose a teacher who is good at marriage retention and connection repair to overcome her marriage retention.
According to Xiaoman's specific situation and her own requirements, the teacher made a plan for her to protect her marriage and separate the third party.
Retention plan:
1. Repair of abduction injury
Man is a rational little animal. It is not easy to choose his marriage at will, which allows him to make a decision. It must be that his daughter-in-law has been screaming and cursing, and her emotions are out of control, which makes him feel that the relationship with this woman is thorough. Even if he has emotions, staying any longer can only make him feel pain and depression, so he can't wait to escape.
Therefore, the first step to keep your husband is to manage your own mentality first. No matter whether he betrayed you or not, no matter how painful you are, you need to make men feel that you can reason with you. You're not a crazy woman.
The teacher asked Xiaoman to send a message to her husband, telling him his real experience during this time. After reading it, her husband was a little relaxed and took the initiative to ask her not to think too much.
Step 2 achieve emotional impact
Because Xiaoman's husband refused to meet her now, and the information sent in the letter did not respond, the teacher gradually began to mobilize feelings and repair the emotional connection between the two people.
As it was not long before their 15 wedding anniversary, the teacher asked Xiaoman to sort out scattered photos and standard atlases for so many years and make an album, and then asked a friend to quietly put them on her husband's desk when she came back early.
This photo album will remind my husband of the memories of these years, and then create a soft state of mind in my heart, and gradually recall the dribs and drabs of these years.
Xiaoman ordered him a beef Wonton Noodles under the guidance of the teacher. As Xiaoman mentioned, it is very difficult for them to start their own businesses. One night, there was only money left to buy wonton noodles. Xiaoman only ate two wonton stews at that time, and then gave her husband the only piece of beef and mutton in the bowl. At that time, her husband vowed to treat her well for life.
After doing this, it really has a practical effect. That day, Xiaoman's husband went home with an excuse to get his certificate.
The teacher specifically told Xiaoman to stay put and not to talk about these two. Instead, as usual, she prepared breakfast and clothes and pants for her husband the next day.
The next day, my husband saw what Xiaoman had prepared for him in advance. Without saying anything, he just asked Xiaoman to take good care of the children.
After that day, the communication between two people/letters gradually increased, and my husband sometimes took the initiative to ask Xiaoman what he was doing.
3. Really guide emotional input.
In view of what has happened, Xiaoman can't erase her regret and depression, so what she has to do now is to communicate with each other in a way that both sides can accept and bear.
At first, the teacher gave Xiaoman psychological guidance so that she could have an affair with her boyfriend without a husband for the time being. The key is to deal with the husband's emotions and keep them.
Because my husband is obsessed with divorce now, and he occupies a dominant position in this related manipulation, the teacher asked Xiaoman to let her husband fall into emotional confusion in the form of emotional dependence, and the confidence of divorce is so great.
When Xiaoman tried to put herself in the shoes of her husband and herself according to the teacher's specific instructions, she found that some misunderstandings between herself and her husband had been eliminated, and her hatred for her husband was not so great. They chatted and found some feelings before.
Repair the marriage relationship
After a period of communication and repairing contact, Xiaoman took the initiative to have a close relationship with her husband according to the teacher's specific guidance, and reconstructed her second attraction. In addition, her husband's contact with third parties gradually decreased. Finally, once, Xiaoman called an intern back to talk and deliberately annoyed her, saying, "Even if you seduce my husband now, there will be no future, and you are unlikely to last long."
The trainee was complacent and said loudly, "I don't want to think about the future at all." Now I am happy to exchange interests! " "
Xiaoman didn't talk any more and let the trainee leave. In fact, she has recorded all this with a video pen.
When my husband heard this audio, I understand now. With her, daughter-in-law, now I know I really did something wrong. I am stubborn for a while, and the whole world still wants you to be the best!
Xiaoman also felt very happy to see her husband want to come back. The teacher also gave specific guidance on some emotional operation matters. Their love is getting better and better. Finally, her husband's main performance was forgiven by Xiaoman. Xiaoman's detention for 24 consecutive days was finally successful, and the two made up again and returned to the sweetness of the past.
What should many people do if a man cheats after marriage? In fact, retaining marriage and saving love is a whole process that needs courage and methods. Many people dare not try because they don't believe in themselves, and regret missing the golden time to stay because they don't know the way.