Because old friends are drifting away, it is difficult for new friends to establish close ties.
Fireworks are easy to be cold, and personnel are easy to be divided.
When people reach a certain age, they understand more and more that life is a narrower and narrower road, and finally only themselves are left.
Before the age of 30:
Life is getting colder and colder, but friends are lost all the way.
Not long ago, it was the 25th anniversary of the classic old drama Friends.
This drama has been filmed for ten years, which not only bears the growth and memories of a generation, but also allows the characters in the drama to establish a profound friendship with them.
After the finale, several leading actors cried, and they vowed to say:
"Although the story in the play has ended, life outside the play has just begun, and we will never let this friendship end."
But in fact, since Friends aired in 2004, they have only been reunited twice.
This is not because friendship has disappeared.
It's just that in the past 25 years, every time we get together, one or two people will be absent because of various emergencies.
As Marx said in "Bankrupt Sisters":
In the first week after our separation, we might even find time to have a cup of coffee together every weekend. In a few weeks, you will have other things to do, and I will have things to do. Then for the next 60 years, we will never meet again.
Years are long, clothes are thin and the future is not long.
Even those friends who treat each other sincerely will eventually be defeated by the aging years and the wandering three views.
I remember one issue of Thirteen Invitations invited Ng Man Tat as a guest.
In the program, when the host Xu Zhiyuan asked about his relationship with Stephen Chow, he suddenly fell silent.
After a long time, he said:
Now they seem to feel a little old and dead. Even if we meet in public, there is nothing to say except a few boring greetings.
Later, Ng Man Tat also specially explained:
There is no contradiction between them, but the change of working environment and less and less contact make them more and more alienated.
Zhang Jiajia wrote in "Passing Through Your World":
"The ending of the story is always like this, two flowers bloom, and the sky is far apart."
Before the age of 30, you are destined to go through countless forks in the road and wave goodbye to your old friends.
But you don't need to be sad, because you will eventually learn to live in two kinds of scenery in your own world.
After 30 years old:
People all over the world know each other, so it is difficult to make new friends.
I saw a true story in the newspaper before.
A middle-aged writer met a good friend because of his work.
After several exchanges, both of them felt that they had a good chat and had a feeling of meeting an old friend in another country.
After a party, the writer looked at the back of his good friend's departure and suddenly felt a sense of regret.
He thought that if he had known this good friend a few years earlier, they might have become each other's best friends.
Unfortunately, the friends you make after maturity, no matter how enthusiastic, will eventually escape the fate of intimacy.
Facts have proved that a few years later, the friendship between this writer and this good friend really ended here.
Two people also very tacit understanding became a nodding acquaintance.
Writer Ma Boyong wrote in the book "The Crisis of Local tyrants: How to make friends in adulthood":
"When I was a child, I made friends just because a cup of Qingdao pure life could serve the table, but when I was an adult, our table was raised a lot."
When people reach middle age, everyone's inner alarm clock will ring loudly.
So we have priorities and cost calculation in everything we do, and we begin to pay attention to cost performance in making friends.
In economics, there is a word called opportunity cost.
It means: there is an opportunity cost before we choose to do something.
For example, during the weekend break, a half-baked friend asks you out, and your brain starts to calculate and consider quickly.
At the same time, you know very well that you could have spent a leisurely day at home.
But you don't know if this date will ruin a wonderful holiday.
Therefore, the question that people ask themselves the most in adulthood is never "do you want it", but "Is it worth it?"
Sima Qian, a historian of the Western Han Dynasty, said: "Prosperity in the world is beneficial, and prosperity in the world is beneficial."
After the age of 30, you are destined to experience the ups and downs of the world and seek warmth in the dense affairs and interests of life.
But you don't need to be sad. After all, growing up is a lonely journey, and you will eventually learn to be with yourself.
Even if I don't contact, I still miss it.
A few years ago, when the film "The Three Gorges Good Man" was released, director Jia mentioned an experience of his own at the scene.
When he was young, he was very close to his cousin and spent almost every winter and summer vacation together.
At the age of eighteen or nineteen, Jia left his hometown and embarked on the road of studying and making movies, while his cousin embarked on the road of getting married and having children.
Many years later, Jia returned to his hometown, and he soon became famous.
When he saw his cousin again, they smiled at each other and didn't know what to say.
Jia said: "Although we are strangers, I know all the feelings are surging in his heart."
As Spirited Away said:
"Life is a train to the grave. There will be many stops on the way, so it is difficult to have someone to accompany you all the way.
When the person accompanying you wants to get off the bus, be grateful even if you don't give up, and then wave goodbye. "
There are many things in the world that are opposite and counterproductive.
The best communication attitude between adults is to be yourself and be close to each other.
I remember reading in a book that Zhou Enlai and his good friend Wu Guozhen are friends of Jin Lan.
Later, because of different ideals, the two parted ways. However, they have never forgotten each other in their respective lives.
There is a passage in the book that is very touching:
We had a close childhood, when all the ideas were the same. We haven't met or corresponded for more than ten years. Seeing you again, our ideals are completely different. But I still admire you and look forward to seeing you every day as before.
The ancients said, "A friendship between gentlemen is as light as water."
Life comes and goes, and those friends who inadvertently fall out of your life, no matter how close or far away, are the souls who come and go freely after all.
Even at the end of the last song, we will send a message: I only wish it well, and I wish you a long time.
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I like a sentence by writer Jostan Judd in Sophie's World:
"Life is sad and serious.
We came to this beautiful world, met each other, greeted each other and traveled briefly together.
Then we lost each other and disappeared for no reason, just as we suddenly came into this world for no reason. "
Life between heaven and earth is like a passer-by.
Even if we are destined to meet in a hurry and say goodbye in a hurry.
But when I think back to * * *, I still appreciate your appearance.
* * * Whatever you want.