However, one side's view is one-sided, and such psychology will only make many things develop in the wrong direction.
Only by learning to put yourself in the other person's shoes can we better understand the overall situation and avoid the crisis.
There is such a newlywed couple, because there is no empathy, misunderstanding, and finally to the point of divorce.
Shanshan lives in a third-tier city along the coast. Although the city is not developed, the Shanshan family has accumulated a lot of wealth through years of business.
Seeing that she reached marriageable age, the family began to arrange blind dates for Shanshan.
Unexpectedly, Shanshan really took a fancy to a local boy Xiaofeng in a blind date.
Xiaofeng's salary is not high, but her job is better and she is a good marriage partner.
After spending a year together, they shared the same interests and decided to get married.
The local people's families are relatively well-off, so the bride price required for marriage is also relatively high.
However, the woman does not take the bride price for nothing, but will give home appliances and furniture with higher value as a dowry in kind.
The local average bride price has reached150,000, and some wealthy families even ask for10,000.
The Shanshan family have been doing business in the local area for many years and have made many good friends.
Therefore, Shanshan's father didn't want his daughter to be looked down upon at the wedding and asked the man to pay a dowry of 388,000 yuan.
Shanshan's father originally wanted to show off to his friends through his daughter's wedding. I didn't expect Xiaofeng's family to be ordinary employees, with little deposit, and the highest expectation for the bride price was only150,000 yuan.
Moreover, Xiaofeng's family bought a wedding room two years ago, and the cost of decoration and furniture after marriage also needs Xiaofeng's consideration. The bride price of 380 thousand is really unbearable.
Seeing that Xiaofeng's family was a little embarrassed, Shanshan's father boasted that as long as Xiaofeng received the bride price, he would give his daughter a dowry of one million.
Originally, Xiaofeng had great affection for this mountain. When he heard what his future father-in-law said, he naturally nodded in agreement.
The two families happily agreed on the engagement date, and the man also scraped together a bride price of 388,000 yuan.
At the engagement ceremony, the man gave the bride price and entertained the guests from afar with delicious food.
The woman who received the bride price also began to buy dowry and prepare for the wedding.
Although Xiaofeng's job is an iron rice bowl, his work is monotonous and his salary is not high.
Xiaofeng also has relatives doing business around him and made a lot of money in his early years. It happened that Shanshan's family had been in business for many years, and Xiaofeng wanted to resign and start a business with Shanshan's dowry money.
What's more, my family has already bought a wedding room and started to decorate and buy home appliances, and there is no need for Shanshan's family to contribute any more.
So Xiaofeng proposed to Shanshan, hoping that Shanshan's family could bring a million dowry in cash.
Although Shanshan's father promised to provide Shanshan with a dowry of100000, there is still a son in the family who is not married, so it is natural to leave some savings for future use.
Moreover, he has been in business for many years and knows that shopping malls are sinister. As a newcomer, Xiaofeng will inevitably go astray.
If you give the couple millions of cash now, Xiaofeng's investment will fail, and her daughter will suffer.
Shanshan's father, after careful consideration, took the initiative to use the money to buy a property, and the property rights were placed under his daughter's name.
He thinks it is a very decent thing to use a million wedding rooms as dowry.
Moreover, the house, as a real estate, can help couples tide over the difficulties and provide protection for their daughters' lives when there are economic problems in their later lives.
It was not until the handover of the house purchase procedure was completed that Shanshan's father told Xiaofeng about the dowry property.
Xiaofeng was shocked when he heard the news. His long-planned road to business was shattered, and his pre-marital property had little to do with himself.
Thinking of this, Xiaofeng lost control and left angrily after a big fight with Shanshan's family. Not only Xiaofeng thinks so, but many men think that this move by the woman's family is full of interest calculations.
The Shanshan family also expressed their incomprehension of the man's family's dissatisfaction, thinking that they are dull at work every day and their brains will not turn.
I have obviously spent 1 million as his dowry, but it is only real estate, not cash.
How to dispose of this property after marriage is also a matter for the young couple themselves. The woman's family won't try to recover the property, so why should the man make a fuss and haggle over every ounce?
Both families keep speculating about each other in their own direction, and no one considers the difficulties of others from each other's point of view.
In the end, the young couple who were going to get married turned against each other. The man demanded that the bride price be returned immediately, and the woman also demanded that the wedding be cancelled directly.
In fact, the two families still have feelings, not because where the million went.
The man's family should feel the same way and understand the feelings of the woman's father taking care of his daughter.
The woman's family should also put themselves in their shoes, understand the young people's feelings of starting a business, and give the man more confidence.
Only when the extended family understands each other can the long-term harmony of marriage be maintained.