Mental internal friction
What should I do if I fall in love with a fruitless person? In fact, this is a serious mental internal friction. At first, maybe this relationship will bring you passion and excitement. Slowly, the pull between two people will become stronger and stronger. Want to end but not reconciled, want to give up but not reconciled. Accustomed to sending messages to each other, accustomed to hearing his voice, and occasionally not contacting for a few days, my heart is empty.
The original happiness and beauty turned into complaints and accusations. There is no result, but the feeling of wanting to last forever may be deeper pain.
The more you give, the more you lose.
You always take the initiative to send him messages, but the other party never takes the initiative. Now, you feel more and more that there is no point in maintaining such a relationship. It is impossible for two people to have a result. You put almost all your feelings into each other, but the other person is ignorant with several people at the same time. You always share the details of your life, but he always responds coldly.
The colder he is, the more unwilling you are. You have paid for a long time, but what you get is indifference and pain again and again, but you can't let go, and you have problems sleeping. Love has become spiritual internal friction, which seriously affects your mood and life. You don't know how to give up this relationship, and life is in endless darkness.
In fact, in the relationship between men and women, the one who pays more is destined to consume more spirit. Repeating an action for a long time and chatting with the same person have formed emotional dependence, and it will take some time to quit.
sexual imbalance
In the pursuit stage, men have strong initiative and all kinds of affectionate money, so you must not add high frequency to send care; In the passive attack, women finally broke through the defense line after repeated entanglement and took a key step. Usually a stable relationship means the end of hunting for men and the beginning of nesting for women. After the emotional peak, men move from strength to dullness, while women have higher emotional needs.
As the dominant party at the beginning, women are inevitably lost in the comparison before and after, and they suspect that the other party's motives are impure from the beginning, so they don't cherish it after getting it. Although this is an inevitable trend of gender relations, imbalance is an intuitive feeling. When the feeling of being concerned is weakened, the sense of security is weakened, and the emotional demand is higher, it is inevitable to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss.
With the deepening of women's feelings and love, they will gradually lose their sense of boundaries, from caring and companionship to wanting to keep track of their whereabouts at any time, unable to control comparison, jealousy, doubt and even monopoly.
Suffer from the loss of feeling.
This kind of feeling has its original sin, and its possessiveness is getting stronger and stronger. It needs to constantly verify sincerity in order to maintain a sense of security. Once out of expectation, negligence and negligence occur, it is easy to think and start to deny yourself or attack each other. This negative emotion is internal friction and torture for both sides, so in repeated entanglement, the mentality becomes more unbalanced and even falls into a vicious circle of hysteria until they are tired of each other.
On the one hand, it is a long-lost love and emotional fit, on the other hand, it is a strong self-attack or moral condemnation; You can't enjoy the beauty of the moment safely, and you can't be completely away from this relationship. Emotional turmoil and ups and downs will enhance the sense of being swayed by considerations of gain and loss. In the process of getting along, I gradually found that this feeling of bringing my own filter from the beginning is not as beautiful and worthwhile as I imagined. But I am still immersed in the tenderness of the past, and I have no ability to stop losses in time by constantly paying and deceiving myself.
Life is full of regrets.
A fruitless relationship is an opportunity for self-rebirth. There is no right or wrong in a relationship, and it doesn't matter whether it is good or bad.
A man and a woman who have mostly experienced extramarital affairs since their marriage will have a profound experience. Out of a friend's feelings, he sent me this passage:
In this world, who we meet and who we are with are destiny takes a hand. Some people will come into your life and stay. Some people will meet you and then turn around and leave. In any case, all relationships can't be so perfect. Life is full of regrets. Meeting and parting are fate. Perhaps, only when we really get out of this disordered relationship will we have a new understanding of life.
Set a deadline for letting go.
We will slowly think about our relationship with our lover, and we will slowly cut off our relationship with the person outside marriage. A relationship is not easy to pull away, and it may be repeated in the middle. Just give yourself a deadline to let go, and you will be reborn. A friend around me is indifferent to a man outside marriage. The two have simple physical contact and a feeling of mutual appreciation.
After a period of contact, I feel that I have fallen. But she has a happy family, and her husband is very kind and takes care of her. Although I had an impulse to indulge myself, I finally chose to let go. Of course I like someone in my heart and want to let go. This process is not that simple. She spent a whole year doing many farewell ceremonies, listening to songs that both of them had heard, going to a movie together and giving him her last gift.
Take practical action
After a period of time, the pain in her heart gradually eased, and occasionally she remembered that although it was bitter, she had a brand-new understanding: the feelings in this world were full of regrets. You may not have what you like, but turning around and leaving may be the last decent thing. I walked out of a chaotic relationship, experienced many entanglements, tasted the taste of crying at night, gradually understood some life conditions and had more understanding of life.
There is a great energy in everyone's life. When we are caught in the emotional whirlpool, then give ourselves some time and space to listen to the voice in the depths of our souls. Let go, not just let go, but use every cell in your body to reflect on each other. Set yourself a deadline and do some farewell ceremonies. Compared with meaningless mental internal friction, practical actions can help you break up.