20 10 graduated from university and went to Beijing alone, bringing two pieces of luggage: pride and myself.
For a long time, I deeply felt that my baggage was clumsy, stubborn and a little silly.
My hometown is a small town with beautiful mountains and rivers. No matter the seasons change, people or those people. Don't argue or fight. The town is quiet. At least I thought so before I was eighteen.
After finishing high school at the age of 18, my cognition has improved. I went to college, not very famous, but outside the town. There is no scenery in the town, but there is. People outside the town seem to be very smart and interesting.
The neon lights and traffic in the city have nothing to do with me, but my desire has taken root. I waved to them excitedly and secretly vowed to be a shining person.
After graduating from college, my mother didn't agree with me to travel. My mother is an ordinary mother. Her greatest wish is that her only daughter can live where she can be seen forever, and I was so young and energetic.
I have an ordinary mother, but she has a daughter who doesn't want to be ordinary all her life.
Love is often a compromise or concession.
At the moment when my mother compromised, I felt like a bird that broke free from the cage and rushed to the long-awaited blue sky with joy, but I forgot that the cage was too small and the blue sky was vast. Besides sunshine, there were all unknown storms.
At the moment when the suitcase landed, I was very happy that I was a member of the smog-sucking army in this city.
I don't have much money in my hand, so I have to live in the basement. I comforted myself when I crossed the messy and dark corridor and reached my shabby little room. It doesn't matter. This is how everyone who struggles in the north drift comes over. They can. Why can't I?
I submitted my resume online in advance and went out for an interview the next morning. The interviewer is a chubby middle-aged man. He shook his head when I applied for my education. He shook his head when I applied for my university. It seems that he shakes his head every time I answer. The result is predictable, and failure seems doomed.
But youthful, a failure is nothing.
I began to send resumes on the Internet almost crazily, and most of them didn't respond, so I attached great importance to every interview opportunity, because I urgently needed a job and money to support my every walk in this city.
My major in college is director, but I don't like this major. One of my art test teachers once told me that he liked my voice very much. Indeed, a long time ago, I secretly made a wish in my heart that I would become a radio anchor. I like to share stories with every listener through voice, even if every listener has nothing to do with me, even if everyone under the radio waves comes from all over the world.
But before pursuing the ideal, everyone seems to have to compromise with reality.
I remember when I entered the first class in college, the head teacher told us that as a director, you all want to enter the TV station in the future, but how many TV stations are there? Do you know how many directors each TV station needs?
I knew it before, but I didn't realize it. Now I know, and I know better.
Half a month later, I submitted 56 resumes and received 8 interview invitations. Unfortunately, none of them succeeded.
When the interviewer shook his head at the end of the last interview, I lost my temper and asked, "Where am I not good enough?" Without looking up, the interviewer continued to look at the resume on the desk. After half a ring, he looked up at me and looked up and down without any expression on his face. "I think you are not good enough anywhere. This is Beijing, and you are never short of talents. What qualifications and capital do you have? " Then, he took out my resume from the table, tore it up, rubbed it and threw it at my feet. "I think you are a girl and have told you so much. If you were a man, I would have told you to get out. "
To this day, I still remember the expression on his face when he said this. I don't think his behavior at that time was much better than telling me to get out.
That was the first time I found that when people were unfriendly, even if they didn't swear at you, what they said was like a knife. He will find your most vulnerable part and poke it mercilessly.
That feeling is worse than a hole in a sock. The teacher asked you to measure the height of your slippers in full view. You finally met someone you have a crush on for a long time in the canteen, but someone tripped in front of him. After all, when you measure your height, you are surrounded by classmates who have been together for a long time. When you fall, your friends will come to help you at once. At that moment, except for your blushing face in public, all that remained was the stranger's gloating smile.
People have gone bad. That's what it is.
After the interview, I remember sitting on a bench in an unknown park all afternoon. I didn't go back to my residence by bus until nightfall. Buses wander around the city. The city here is bigger than the city where the university is located, with more flashing neon, still colorful and dazzling. Why did I see the warmth and hope at that time, but now I feel cold and cringe?
Shortly after I returned to my residence, my cell phone rang. It was my mother. When my mother asked me how I was doing in my hometown dialect, I looked around my apartment. From time to time, rats squeaked in the corridor. In an instant, my eyes were sore and my throat couldn't say a word. My mom didn't ask or hang up. She knew that her daughter cried disappointingly, but she was not ashamed to cry in front of her mother.
i do not want to give up. It's a pity to go back so despondently.
The TV station doesn't need me as a director, so I'll go to the radio station. Radio is the only organization that has persisted in my university for four years. As far as I am concerned, if I have to choose between a director and a radio anchor, I will not hesitate to choose the latter. After all, my love for broadcasting has sprouted from junior high school, and it didn't fully grow up until I went to college. If being a TV station director is forced by reality, being a radio anchor is desirable.
I believe that the sound at night is warm, and I believe that people in this cold enough city need some kind of companionship and warmth.
The world is always like this. As long as you find your goal and know what kind of person you want to be, it seems that the whole world will make way for you. All the hardships before are just a small test, the purpose is to teach you to follow your heart and do what you like.
Still submitting resumes, but the direction has changed. Maybe the letter of appointment I got from my internship in the radio station played a role, or the sample sound I sent was recognized. I received some interview invitations one after another, but the interview still failed, but I may like the job too much and feel closer to the person who does it.
Interviewing during the day and going back to the residence at night, a person's life is always accompanied by loneliness, but everyone will probably experience a period of time with themselves. I started writing a manuscript. I recorded all the experiences and growth of this city. When I received the first payment, I was filled with joy and hope.
I got my first job at the end of the first month. When I received the news that I had passed the interview, I covered my mouth tightly for fear that my joyful voice would disturb others in the basement.
This is a newly established studio, specializing in broadcasting and new media business. They are indomitable young faces. I'm glad to be one of them.
At the beginning, I was very busy at work every day, perhaps doing what I like, so I didn't feel very tired. We work overtime together, write plans together, cheer for each other together, perhaps running in the same direction, feeling bitter and sweet.
Later, with everyone's efforts, the studio grew slowly, the radio station received attention, and my voice was recognized by many strangers. I often receive such short messages: It's good to have you, which makes me feel that I am not alone in this city.
We are strangers who have never met before, but we can confide each other's experiences and worries as honestly as old friends. This warmth makes me cherish and cherish.
Now, I have moved out of the basement and have my own corner of the world in this city. I don't have many friends, but the circle is very simple. When I miss the town, I will call my parents. I know that the harvest is hard-won, but I have never regretted my choice, and I am very grateful to myself who was reckless but courageous at that time.
It's windy in this city, and my dream finally has a home.
The other day, I was sitting in front of the window sill reading a book. I don't know why the fireworks outside the window are shining. I look up at the night sky in this city. Suddenly I feel lucky to have a dream. I think it's good to be young. I can meet many people with the same goal. This city is very big, but you are definitely not alone in your struggle.
Dreams are for pursuit. You should be brave, so should I.
Stories about the city & stories and essays about going to work.