Of course, many people also think that you are just chatting with others. Is an hour worth hundreds or even thousands of dollars?
I can tell you for sure: value! Because psychological counseling is more than just chatting, I will briefly introduce two commonly used skills in counseling: participatory skills and influential skills.
Participatory technology:
Participatory technology focuses on the help-seekers, and the purpose of consultants is only to clarify, inspire and guide the help-seekers to explore and practice themselves.
1 listen.
Some people think it sounds easy, but it is not easy to do it in consultation. Many novice consultants have a particularly strong feeling of helping others when they first start consulting. Just after the other party finished speaking, it was still in the pause stage, and the consultant couldn't wait to speak, which led to a lot of incomplete information collection. Counselors can wait for two to three seconds after others have finished speaking, which shows that counselors have enough concentration.
True listening is based on acceptance, active listening, earnest listening, attentive listening and moderate participation when listening.
2 ask questions
Questions are divided into open questions and closed questions, and there are also semi-open and semi-closed questions.
"What happened between you, can you tell me?" This is an open question.
"You wanted a divorce then, didn't you?" This is a closed question.
Moreover, it is a semi-open and semi-closed question to pave the way first and then ask. "Many men have extramarital affairs during their marriage. What about you?" This is a semi-open and semi-closed problem.
3 encourage
The encouragement skills of counselors are also important. Your approving expression and sincere eyes are all encouragement to each other.
4 repeat
In order to make the helper pay attention to his words, the consultant can use repetition technology.
The helper said, "That night, my husband got drunk and brought back a woman." At this time, the counselor can repeat, "He was drunk and brought back a woman." Helpers naturally take this matter seriously.
5 content response
Counselors use their own words to give feedback to help seekers in order to achieve the purpose of understanding and communication. Imagine that if you speak again, another person will repeat what you said in his own language. For you, this in itself means that the other party is listening carefully and you will feel understood.
6 emotional response
The psychological counselor summarizes the main contents of the mood and emotion stated by the helper and gives feedback to the helper in his own words. "You must be very sad and painful after such a thing." This is the emotional response.
7 concretization
Specific techniques are often used in psychological counseling, and some clients are too general in their statements, so it is difficult for us to be specific. Specifically, let the seeker describe things more specifically, and the consultant can also work in a targeted manner.
Caller: "I am always prone to depression."
Counselor: Can you describe what kind of depression you are talking about?
This process is the process of concretization.
8 participatory overview
The so-called summary is that the psychological counselor comprehensively sorts out the verbal and nonverbal behaviors, including emotions, of the help seekers, and then expresses them to the help seekers in the form of an outline, which is equivalent to the integration of content response and emotional response.
At the end of the consultation, there is often a summary session. In the summary session, the consultant first combs the content provided by the helper, which is a participatory overview.
Understanding and mastering nonverbal behavior
Understanding and mastering nonverbal behavior depends on the skills of counselors. Many people who ask for help don't do what they say. For example, a woman was cheated by a man and became a third party. I obviously saw the smile on her face when she expressed her guilt. It can be inferred from this smile that she actually benefited from the identity of a third party, and her heart was not so exclusive.
The above are just participatory skills, and there is another skill in psychological counseling, that is, influence skills. The main body that affects technology is the consultant, who intervenes with the help-seekers to help them solve their psychological problems.
1 face
When consultants find that there are contradictions among the clients, the purpose of interview technology interview is to promote the clients' thinking on the premise of good consultation relationship.
Helper: I love my child so much that he should treat me like this and call me selfish.
Consultant: What do you think is love for children?
The reason why the counselor asked this question is because he found that the understanding of love by the helper is completely different from that of the child.
2 explanation
Explanatory ability is also the embodiment of consultant's ability. What separates explanation from explanation is understanding, and everyone's understanding is different.
Helper: I live in panic every day, can't sleep, and always worry about something that hasn't happened.
Counselor: You are anxious. Anxiety is an emotional experience that points to the future. Is there anyone in your family who is too worried about what hasn't happened yet?
3 guidance
After the consultation, in order to urge the help-seekers to better consolidate the consultation effect, we often give homework to the help-seekers and guide them how to get along with the people around them.
4 emotional expression
Counselors express their emotions and feelings and help seekers to influence them.
Helper: I hate my father. Why did he treat me like that? I was so young then. Every time I see him, I can think of the harm he has caused me. I wish I had never known him.
Counselor: I heard what you just said. My heart is shaking. I feel very sad, especially sad. I think people around you, no matter who hears this, may have such a reaction.
5 Content expression
All influential technologies are content expression technologies.
6 self-exposure
Counselors share their feelings, stories, experiences, etc. It can promote a good consultation relationship with visitors, so that visitors feel that someone has shared their troubles and that the consultant is an ordinary person, and the consultation will go smoothly.
7 Overview of impact
At the time of summing up, the consultant sorted out his views and expressed them in a concise form.
8 the use of nonverbal behavior
Psychological counselors integrate their nonverbal behaviors into words and convey their attitudes through nonverbal behaviors. In many cases, the psychological counselor's nonverbal behavior has a greater impact on the help seekers. For example, a positive look and a smile from a psychological counselor can bring great encouragement to people who ask for help.