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[14] the generation facing rebellion and self (1)
Author: Guo Xudong Unit: Beijing Xinlian Lily Exchange Cultural Center
Open the blog and see a friend's long comment. I'm going to reply for this friend. Let's discuss the first question together.
Q: "How are rebellious and self-centered children educated? One, is it spoiled? What is coquetry? Is it what children want to pay? Indulge children blindly? Let children's habits develop without restraint? If so, it is called' spoiling children'. "
On the issue of spoiling, my computer stores the article "Bad habits formed by spoiling". Now take it out for your reference.
On the bad habits formed by doting.
Information consultation: The spoiled child has developed many bad habits, which do him great harm. How should we avoid them?
The reply is as follows: The following contents are for reference only.
Spoiled children do form many bad habits, such as: love leisure and hate labor, lack of awareness of active labor, even look down on labor, do not know the hardships of labor, and will not sympathize with others; The heart is higher than the sky, but it is not based on reality. I don't know how to improve my self-cultivation and ability bit by bit and make a solid start; Strong vanity, values, outlook on life and world view are reversed, and it is easy to compare with others. Facing the temptation of the world, it is easy to take the bait; Bad living habits, poor quality and weak willpower; People always take their own needs and interests as the starting point, never consider others, only pay attention to their own interests, never consider the interests of others and so on. Seldom care about others, alienated from others, unable to live in harmony; Being self-centered, I don't know how to be a man, how to be polite, how to be modest, and so on. If these bad habits are not changed, it will seriously affect his adult life.
So, in order to avoid being spoiled, we might as well do this:
1, pay attention to raising children also includes educating children, not just loving them. While providing children with necessary material conditions, we should also cultivate many fine traditions, such as hard work and simplicity, strengthening the concept of labor and overcoming bad habits such as laziness, dependence and laziness. We should also tell them what truth, goodness and beauty are and help them establish a correct outlook on life and values. In addition, we should also pay attention to teaching them to be polite, learn to be modest, understand others, and think from others' perspective, rather than being indifferent and selfish.
"On Wisdom XV": "Among thieves, there is no thief who is slack." Laziness and slackness are one of the greatest enemies of mankind. Superior material life tends to make people negative, decadent and greedy, and cultivating hardworking and simple character is the key to overcome egoism.
2. Avoid vulgar education and advocate the necessary "frustration education".
There is a story on the Internet. A primary school student deliberately put down his chopsticks while eating, and his parents let him eat. He just wants his parents to pay for it, so he has no choice but to do so. This is because parents are spoiled at ordinary times and finally swallow the bitter fruit of vulgar education.
In addition to not doting on children, avoid letting grandparents and other elders take care of children all or most of the time. Children should have time to live with their parents. Because elders tend to spoil children.
In addition, when children are willful, playful and even threaten their families to move out or run away from home in order to satisfy their own small interests or vent their dissatisfaction with their parents, their families should be able to stop their bad habits, instead of compromising them because of doting, and they should be given the necessary "frustration education". This will enable them to exercise their will in setbacks, improve their self-control, overcome stubbornness, willfulness, conceit, levity and femininity, and learn to look at objective things rationally.
Parents must not tolerate their children's shortcomings, otherwise it will be a bad result in the future. Biography of the Three Kingdoms Zhuge Liang: "Don't do small evil, don't do small good." The general idea is that as long as it is "evil", even small evils are not done; Do it as long as it is good, even if it is small. Confucius said, "It is better to see evil than good." Confucius said, "Seeing good is like an eager pursuit that you can't catch up with, and seeing evil is like trying boiled water with your hands." Therefore, when we educate our children, we should discover their shortcomings in time, instead of indulging blindly.
Of course, parents should be teachers first, otherwise how can they educate their children?
We should attach importance to the truth that children learn to be human beings, and don't think that learning skills culture is better than learning to be human beings. To be clear, you must learn to be a man before you learn, because culture is used to be a man.
3. Encourage children to communicate with the outside world and provide them with more opportunities to get in touch with the outside world and participate in group activities and life. Learn to be United, tolerant and forbearing when dealing with people. Teach them to learn "empathy" and overcome narrow and selfish thoughts centered on "self".
In a word, educating children is not only a simple way to cultivate their health, but also a way to cultivate their hearts, that is, the content of learning to be a man is among them, and the aspect of cultivating their hearts cannot be neglected. Beijing, June 6, 2007
2007-06-23 09:53:33
Torch team. Giantland