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The story begins with the summer vacation in Zhang Xiaoyi.
The first study focuses on professional course learning and various paper writing. After the end of the last semester, the graduation thesis was opened, and the paper report meeting twice a semester for the major finally came to an end at the same time as the end of the next semester. The remaining 3 1 year of research, the main task is to complete the graduation thesis and determine the next life. These two tasks are very important, and if they are urgent, they are also urgent. However, Zhang Xiaoyi found that although she was worried about them every day, she didn't see any practical action.
This summer vacation is no different from countless holidays in the past-there are many things to do, but I don't want to do anything. Everyday life is basically sleeping, eating, brushing your mobile phone or watching videos. If anything, the weight of this "paralyzed" state has accumulated more and more with age, and it has become more and more unbearable. What runs in the background of doing nothing all day is dissatisfaction with oneself and anxiety about the possible terrible future.
Sometimes mom and dad will intervene to arrange her life. Tell her to go to her grandmother's house, or to help her in the rice noodle shop of her second aunt's house in the city, and sometimes even ask her to attend a wedding banquet of a relative or neighbor. Zhang Xiaoyi's first reaction is always refusal. She said she didn't want to. But mom will say, you have nothing to do at home. Xiao Yi said, I want to study. Mom will come back to her, and I haven't seen you study. Why don't you help? Why don't you even want to go to grandma's house? Xiaoyi had to answer her, but I just didn't want to go, so I closed the door and went back to the house to refuse, ending the conversation. The parents will say, this child is no good. How can this child be like this? Xiaoyi was asked for no reason, and she was thinking, yes, I really didn't do anything. It's good to go Why can't I go? But I just don't want to go. I think I have a lot of things to do in my heart. She never really said these thoughts. What she often does is constantly seemingly resolutely refuse her parents' suggestions, or just obey their ideas from time to time after many self-objections and attacks. Although she seems to have her own coping strategies, her inner contradictory thoughts make her nervous day after day. She is afraid that this time she will refuse, and her parents don't know when to mention it next time. Rejecting this time means telling parents other things, such as doing housework more actively, or showing their efforts in study. I was rejected this time. Maybe I should think more about it next time. This is her "home life rule".
I don't know why or what's wrong with me. She also saw the whole family lying alone: mom was lying in the bedroom when she was free, and dad often lay on the sofa and in his room when he came back from work or couldn't go out on rainy days. I can't move. Is there a problem? I wonder if there is anything wrong with being so leisurely. I can't even confirm the uncomfortable feeling.
She said, "You have depression."
This is a person who does psychological work in a circle of friends' judgment on the present situation of Xiaoyi. Hmm? Depression? Really? On the one hand, Xiaoyi felt sorry for being diagnosed with this disease, on the other hand, she seemed to be secretly relieved-I had a problem, was sick, needed help, needed treatment and needed rehabilitation.
This consultant has been added to a large WeChat group before, and her circle of friends or official WeChat account often writes something different and publishes it. What is the difference? It is she who directly expresses and discusses her "discomfort", such as expressing her anger when she is offended, and even talking to rhinitis to make it sound when it attacks. What she said sometimes makes Xiaoyi feel very excited. "Hey, so she would have such an idea." . Xiaoyi also felt that what she said could not be directly judged by rational standards of right and wrong.
I was told that I was suffering from depression, which happened when Zhang Xiaoyi first sought psychological counseling from Jia Ying, a psychological counselor.
At that time, the whole summer vacation was drawing to a close, and the listlessness every day was as usual. At that time, Xiaoyi practiced "Sulyakria" every day, which is a set of movements from the Indian classical yoga system. Besides yoga, there are many books in her bookcase and bedside, which she collected from all over the world. But these are hardly helpful to her present situation. In fact, it is this perennial dilemma-no matter how many books you buy, no matter how good the course resources you are exposed to, it is difficult to find a way out of your anxiety and the difficulty of moving. Xiao Yi has really paid attention to Jiaying's output for a long time. A year ago, when she broke up with her first boyfriend of five years, she asked Ying Jia for help. That's not a formal interview. Xiaoyi simply expressed her own problems in private letters, and the other party also gave some practical but heartfelt suggestions and responses. Now a year has passed, and at the end of this long and short summer vacation, the idea of asking her for help suddenly rose in Xiao Yi's heart. But it is also true that there is a lack of confidence in change.
When she decided to make an appointment for consultation, Xiaoyi tentatively asked her, "Hello, dear. What preparations do I need to make to make an appointment with you for psychological consultation? For example, try to prepare your own statement? " When I asked this question, I was uneasy, but I was also hesitant. I felt the need or impulse to push her to take the initiative to ask, and the habitual self-doubt pulled her back. So she seems to be making progress by asking this question, but she is actually leaving a retreat for herself-if she finds that she is not ready to meet the conditions of negotiation, she can retreat immediately. After all, there is no place to find confidence support, but you have to pay for it yourself and you are not at ease with what you think. This inquiry was sent at ten o'clock in the evening. Jia Ying didn't reply that night, and she didn't return it to me until 12 noon the next day.
During this period, Xiao Yi's mind churned with countless thoughts, with progress and retreat. She regretted asking, but from the moment she opened her mouth. Although life is uncomfortable, it is only because you are too lazy and don't work hard enough. Why waste money on such fancy and useless things? In the absence of a reply from the other party, Xiao Yi felt that there was still a chance to turn back. This mentality really accompanied her for a long time in the long-term psychological counseling process. But this is another story.
Jia Ying replied: "The only condition for consultation is to decide to change. As long as you are so determined, ask me out. Everything is in the creation of our joint efforts. "
I didn't expect such a reply. Xiaoyi once again tried to say, "The extent to which a consultation can touch the problem depends on personal circumstances, right?" Xiao Yi thought, psychological counseling in his own case is likely to be invalid.
"Yes, everyone is different, but they are always ready quickly."
"I don't even know if I'm ready." I'm scared and depressed.
Jia Ying said, "You seem ready. Because you acted. "
The reply to this sentence actually gave people a little confidence and strength out of thin air, so they agreed at the first consultation.