Vipassana: the inner child-the root of dependence

"* * * Dependence" means that when we lose contact and trust with our inner love, we begin to meet that kind of desire and demand for love through external relationships. Therefore, there are two roles in the "* * * dependence" relationship: one is to rely on, rely on and demand the love of the other party, and prove their value through the love of the other party, but they will never be satisfied; The other is isolation, for fear of being rejected and hurt, so I erect a wall with isolation and refuse the entry of love. These are the two personalities that we bring into this relationship. People in every relationship are either dependent or isolated.

But how can we get rid of this relationship, how can we really love and get real nourishment in love? We must first heal our inner children, which is our "core" essence. It is a symbol, representing the existence of our inner core. However, this "inner child" was hurt in the process of growing up because of various constraints of family, school and society. The injured "inner child" has lost trust in himself, trust in the world and love for himself.

In an idealized state, the "inner child" shows the characteristics of our innocence, our vulnerability, our trust, our vitality, our creativity and our spontaneity. These characteristics are suppressed and distorted when we are very young, so when we grow up, we bring this injured and oppressed "inner child" into our relationship.

We should treat this child with inner injury and rediscover our essence: love, spontaneity, vitality, innocence and trust. Every child is born with these qualities and talents.

Dealing with this injured "inner child", their fear, fear of being abandoned, shame, fright, fear of being violated, these are the basic fears of the "inner child", which will affect our relationship and our lives. Usually these fears are in the unconscious world, so we are unaware of this injured "inner child", so that we are all unconsciously reacting, repeating the same pattern in the relationship, making the same mistakes, and then suffering again and again. Even though we are physically adults, we have a job, a family and children. Once there are obstacles in our relationship, or after the honeymoon, the "inner child" begins to come out, all his fears begin to surface.

All the problems in the "* * * dependence" relationship come from this injured "inner child". By curing this "inner child", we can end this interdependent relationship and build a good foundation for love.

We create an atmosphere without pressure and criticism, and bring self-awareness and understanding to this unconscious and injured "inner child". Through "love", our inner space will be created, and those beautiful talents and qualities will naturally appear. Our "inner child" has been imprisoned by all kinds of expectations, expectations, fears, pressures and guilt. Through love, understanding and acceptance, the inner child can be taken out of prison. When he is released, healing will happen automatically.