When we met before, we always talked about some designs, including policies, material selection and even work development. But in the last four or five meetings, she always told me about her husband, mother-in-law, elder sister-in-law, husband's family and even her family. ?
For example, my sister-in-law wants her nephew to settle in her home because of this school district; For example, my daughter is over one year old, and my father-in-law has never made a special trip to see it, nor has he given money; Her mother knew that the young couple spent a lot of money and forced them to pay back the money; My husband and I don't have the same language and passion. They are like roommates. ?
At the beginning, I will listen to her quietly, and I will give some countermeasures when I ask for advice.
One night, it was almost twelve o'clock and I was very busy. She suddenly sent me a WeChat, saying that she wanted to see me. ?
I put down what I was doing and launched a WeChat voice with her. I didn't expect to be unhappy when I talked about the past.
"If you want advice, I can give it to you." "I just want to talk to you."
So I stopped texting her and continued my business. ?
Later, I was even a little afraid that she would send me a message, that she would tell me the original thing again, and that she would treat me as a tree hole. ?
With friends, don't always burst into negative energy. Just once or twice, and the other person will even comfort you and actively help you find a way. If this happens again and again, no matter how good a friend is, he doesn't want to hear your parents' shortcomings over and over again. ?
Negative energy is like a black hole, it will suck your friend's energy and consume your friendship step by step. ?
If you analyze and solve problems together with the help of friends, even if you encounter difficulties in the process, friends will continue to help you without hesitation, but people who keep spinning around in the same place probably want to stay away. Because such people, like the whirlpool in the river, will be sucked in as soon as they get close. ?
I have two friends, An An and Xiao Deng, who run a company in partnership. On weekdays, they cooperate tacitly and their business is booming.
But one thing that annoys An An is that Xiao Deng always criticizes An An in front of guests or friends, such as strengthening hygiene, tidying up the office, sorting things neatly and so on.
Ann was particularly angry when chatting with me: it is clear that Xiao Deng has never taken care of these things, and sometimes even made the office messy, or I handled it. After wiping his ass so much, why do you say that about me? ?
Xiao Deng made the same mistake at a friend's party. So Ann became angry: So, the company was established for more than a year, and you have done all these things? Xiao Deng knew that he was indefensible and the party broke up in discord. ? A few months later, I wanted to consult them about a business, but I heard that they had stopped doing business. ?
I am very capable, and it is understandable to want to be praised by others. But if you elevate yourself by belittling others, not only will the belittled person feel bad, but the listener will also judge a person by what you say. ?
If this person is not who you say he is, others will think you are a fool. A person who belittles others is also a person without tolerance.
People will say derogatory things to their faces, so what is behind them? Friends will think, will you speak ill of me, too? ? If such a person is not far away, do you still have to invite him to criticize yourself at home during the New Year? ?
Some people, once something goes wrong, will immediately find someone to take the blame. ?
Once, my two friends, Zhao Zhao and Xiao Liang, and I went to a new cinema. As the road was unfamiliar, I started to navigate, and Xiao Liang was the navigator. ?
At a crossroads, there was something wrong with navigation, so Zhao Zhao asked whether to turn left or right. Zhao Zhao followed Liang Xiao's correct answer and turned right. But I didn't see the car coming from behind, and there was a collision.
Zhao Zhao immediately swore: What course are you guiding? You don't know how to change lanes in advance. Everything is fine. ?
Xiao Liang didn't explain the whole process. I came out to coordinate: it's good that people are okay, and the car is broken and repaired. ?
But I know in my heart that you have the steering wheel. Changing lanes depends on whether there is a car coming behind, which is the basic driving principle. We trust you and drive your car. If you don't pay attention to driving yourself, you will blame the friends who help you navigate. Nobody can see this. ?
When something happened, everyone felt bad. And making accusations will increase the degree of discomfort. What's more, it is not advisable to let people who are not responsible take responsibility. ?
In some small things, we can see whether a person has a sense of responsibility, and people without a sense of responsibility are not trustworthy. ? The key to building trust lies in whether the other party will safeguard your interests.
If a person insists on blaming you for a responsibility that does not belong to you, it is conceivable that he will safeguard your interests. ?
People are social animals, and there is really nothing wrong with living alone. But you can't solve everything by yourself. There are always some things that need the help and cooperation of others.
Cooperation is not only needed in life, work and feelings, but also in order to do things well. ? You may not be able to make others like you and get close to you. But at least don't let others hate you and stay away from you.
It is human instinct to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. If he is with you, he can get more benefits than he can get alone. Of course he wants to be with you.
? If the two situations get the same benefits, when another person who can provide him with more benefits appears in the other person's life, he may also alienate you. ? If the benefits of being with you are far less than those of one person, then the other person will inevitably stay away from you. In the process of getting along with friends, people who consume a lot of energy from each other are like a black hole, which will continuously absorb each other's energy. ?
There is a concept of "emotional account" in psychology: when you do something beneficial to the other party, it is like "saving money" in this account; For example, helping each other, making each other happy, giving gifts and so on. ?
When your behavior is not conducive to the other party, you are "returning money", such as blasting negative energy for a long time, accusing the other party and disrespecting the other party. ? When this account is overdrawn, it means that this relationship has come to an end. ?
If you have such a person around you, please stay away from him; If you are such a person, if you don't want your friends to stay away from you, please start to change and become a friend who can bring energy to others.