How to save a man who has been disappointed in you? Breaking up is a common thing between lovers. Many times, we always hide ourselves in the shadow of failed love in the past. However, what can't be hidden is the inner yearning for love. Here's how to save a man who has been disappointed in you.
How to save a man who has been disappointed in you 1 1, and carefully analyze the reasons why the other person is disappointed in you.
Some people are always not delicate enough in their feelings and are always broken up for no reason. In fact, in many broken relationships, except for the particularly serious bottom line problem, other contradictions are generated in small details.
You broke her heart for the first time, and she convinced herself to forgive you, but you forgive again and again, and you are disappointed again and again. Finally, she died of your heart and broke up directly.
If you want to save a person who is completely disappointed in you and let her be with you again, all you need to do is carefully analyze where you let her heart die, find the crux and make up for it in the next step.
Admit your mistake sincerely.
After tolerating you countless times, the other party will suddenly break out and will no longer tolerate you.
At this time, if you don't recognize yourself clearly and apologize vaguely and perfunctory, especially saying, "I was wrong, okay?" It will make the other party angry and completely disappointed. At this time, it is more difficult for you to recover.
If you want to save each other, you need to seriously admit your mistakes and say some sincere words, such as "I was too stupid before, I didn't have time to accompany you, and I won't do it again". This is the correct way to apologize.
3. Prove yourself with actions.
A verbal apology is only one aspect. If you want to save people who are disappointed in you, you have to prove it with practical actions.
I didn't spend enough time with her before, but now I spend more time. I used to ignore her. Now put her first and stick to it. I'm sure she will see your change.
If you want to save a person who is completely disappointed in you, it is useless to confess orally. You should make up for your previous negligence, cherish each other more, and let them see that your actual actions have changed, so that you can re-enter each other's hearts.
Conclusion: Any relationship needs careful management. For your own mistakes, you should sum up and avoid making them again, and bravely save your lost love.
But if the other person has shown that he doesn't want to be disturbed, then don't bother again, because this will only make the other person more disgusted with you.
In fact, both men and women should cherish the present and don't wait for it to be lost before they want to recover it.
How to save a man who has been disappointed in you 2 1, mentality is the core pillar of successful recovery.
In a large number of cases I consulted, I found that those who were positive, firm and optimistic finally succeeded under my guidance; And those girls who are pessimistic, negative and emotional, even if they have exhausted all methods, may give up hope because of temporary apathy and excitement and will not continue to recover.
1, get rid of the victim's mentality
No matter why you broke up, you must understand one thing: the contradiction in your feelings is caused by the two of you, and the quarrel is a matter of two people. It's just a question of who caused it and who fermented it.
The victim mentality will not let you grow up in love, but will only teach you to shirk your responsibilities and avoid problems.
Put yourself in others' shoes. How would you feel if your predecessor denied all your efforts and threw accusations and complaints at you?
2. Don't be a "sinner" in feelings.
In one case, a boy broke up with a girl because he felt stressed and uncomfortable getting along with the girl. When the woman didn't agree, she used the sinner's mentality to save it, and put the problem of breaking up on her head, while the boy didn't agree to get back together because of the girl's low-key mistake. The boy responded indifferently: "I don't think you are worth it."
When you blame yourself too much, on the one hand, boys can't look at the root of the contradiction between you objectively, and then they can't correctly understand your value and your own problems; On the other hand, some boys will have a "villain" mentality-"Look, women are so cheap that they don't know their problems until they break up, but it's too late!"
Zhang Ailing said: "When I met you, I became very depressed, as low as dust, but my heart was happy. And there will be a flower. "
However, in the process of redemption, girls should not belittle themselves in order to please. The more modest you are, the less ungrateful boys will be.
Because men are hunters who are naturally full of conquest, how can a hunter value a lunch delivered to his mouth? He will only chase those tempting and difficult prey.
When you save it, you need to change from "prey" to "hunter". There is a classic saying: "Top hunters often appear as prey."
Zhou Zishu is such a "high-end hunter" in the recent fire "Mountains and Rivers Order":
His background color is always gentle and powerful. After testing Wen Kexing's mind, he began to turn from defense to attack. Whether it is casual shyness, half-hearted attitude, flirting words, or gentle and firm companionship and trust, Wen Kexing's appetite has been hung up, and he has unconsciously changed from a "hunter" to Zhou Zishu's bag.
Zhou Zishu's counterattack routine was also praised by netizens as "a beautiful woman fishing".
In the process of redemption, being a fishing beauty is very attractive to men, and even has a magical effect of one or two pounds.
2. Decide the recovery strategy according to the reasons for breaking up.
Is your breakup fake or true? It is particularly important to make it clear that the breakup is caused by objective reasons.
Therefore, when breaking up in the cooling-off period, whether it is a rational breakup or an impulsive breakup, we must do a good job.
1, the recovery strategy of impulsive breakup
You may just break up with each other in a rage, but the man chooses to break up or deal with it indifferently because of face/too many quarrels and fatigue/waiting for you to calm down for a while.
Because this kind of impulsive breakup did not cause each other's principled problems, it was only because of trivial quarrels in life and work, which was easy to recover.
It's just that you need to know whether it's worthwhile to compete with him on trivial matters.
It is often not the third party that defeats love, but the details of getting along.
Smart women know how to grasp the big and let go of the small. Love will enter a running-in period and a plateau period after the love period. If you don't want every relationship to start from small things, you are doomed to be single for life.
Therefore, in view of the impulsive breakup, my suggestion is to take the initiative to give the other party a step down, and then learn to actively communicate and empathize in the later running-in period.
It's actually quite simple. If you want his positive feedback, you must first convey positive emotions and feelings.
For example, when you think he has no time to accompany you, you can use a careful machine in communication to turn passive needs into active efforts:
"I know you are busy, but no matter how busy you are, you need to have a rest. You are not an iron man, and I love you dearly. I will accompany you to massage this weekend. Don't you always say that your cervical spine hurts? "
From these words, you not only expressed your concern, but also sent an invitation. In fact, the hidden need behind words is that you need company.
2, the recovery strategy of rational breakup
Rational breakup is generally caused by the following reasons, such as:
The novelty disappeared and no new value was created.
Lack of security
Unmet demand
The recovery of rational breakup is more difficult than impulsive breakup, not that boys feel bored, bored and tired in love, but love rat's performance. Put yourself in others' shoes. If the other person sends you negative emotional values all the year round, won't you feel tired and unloved?
Like many couples quarreling, the man was finally forced to fight by the girl.
Why did he change from Mr. Nice guy to a domestic violence guy? Didn't you force him out with a bayonet?
Therefore, during the break-up, you should learn to be a fishing beauty with both offensive and defensive skills and quietly touch his heart again.
Step one, don't be a "moral bitch" and sincerely admit your mistakes.
Your image fell from the altar of the original goddess because of the contradictions accumulated again and again. If you really want to save it, then seriously reflect on your own problems and sincerely admit your mistakes.
Let the other party feel that they are understood and recognized, which is the first place to save the other party's good feelings.
If you were too controlling in the past, it was easy to doubt each other. When you start to contact him, send a message according to the following pattern:
First reflect on your own problems and talk about your views on trust and loyalty (positive, even if it is copied from a book → stand firm → finally plant the seeds of hope.
For example:
"Dear, in addition to this period of time, I seriously thought about it. When we are together, I have a strong desire to control you, and I like to doubt your love for me, which makes you depressed and tired.
After breaking up, I realized that two people can be happy together. It is not enough to be in love, but also to have space and breath. Trust is the cornerstone of love, and loyalty is the theme song played around love.
Now I realize that I have changed because I cherish this relationship. I hope you can give me a chance to love you again. Do wait for me! "
If that person loves you too, how can he ignore this heartfelt love?
But don't rush for success, just apologize sincerely. In the short time left, don't mention your past again, but create new memories or talk about it as a "second love".
The second step is to catch a beautiful thousand-layer routine.
Starting with * * * similarity
Think back, when you first started dating him, did you first get in touch with your hobbies and social circles? At that time, you were just happy, and your good feelings multiplied in these relaxed and interesting conversations.
So you can start with the objective things that * * * used to be, because everyone will rationalize his contradictory behavior and let him who broke up voluntarily rationalize his contradictory behavior of contacting you. For example, "I didn't go because of her, but because of little K" and "I just went to get what I left with her." ...
This kind of self-deception will help him relax his guard against you, as long as you don't expose too much sense of need in these contacts and meetings. Just like when we first met, being a shy, reserved and gentle fisherman made him feel no oppression and comfort.
Only in this way can we further put forward: "Why don't you stay for dinner? You don't really want to eat my XXX? " "Do you remember I once said that I really want to travel to Chengdu with you? Have time to finish my last wish, can you? " "It's too late, so you can stay with me" ... and so on.
Ask for help and show weakness.
According to the well-known Franklin effect, people tend to like people they have helped and are more willing to help you a second time.
Women who show weakness to men are smart. Although the society now advocates that women should be "big women", it means that women need to be independent and powerful in personality and society. But between the sexes, psychology has found that the more women's characteristics are preserved, the more fascinated men are.
Therefore, in the quiet recovery, it is necessary to appropriately stimulate men's desire to protect you.
For example, when you are sick, you can describe yourself as miserable. Then put forward the demand according to the attitude of the other party. If he shows great concern and distress and calls you a "fool who doesn't know how to take care of himself", you can put forward your own needs and expectations.
If he is indifferent, you should not convey negative emotions, but after expressing your needs, don't bother him again. Maybe, the next day, he will pretend to be cold and ask if you are better.
Men can be duplicitous, and smart women should be able to read.
Show the charm after the transformation
When you start to mend after the sheep is dead, you become gentle and considerate, humorous and relaxed, generous and intellectual when you talk to him. Do you think he will not be tempted again?
According to the psychological effect of proximate cause, the recent impression will be greater than the first effect (first impression and influence). So you can't change his stereotype of you, as long as you are obviously different from before, what you have given him in the near future is beauty and comfort.
Coupled with the shaking of time, stubborn prejudices will disappear with the wind, leaving only the lovely you in front of you.
The premise of saving a man's heart is to understand the nature of a man.
As a beauty of fishing line, doesn't he smell good?
If you choose the wrong way to recover in this sensitive and fragile breakup period, there is a great probability that you can get back together successfully, and it will also make boys push you completely into the abyss of perdition in their hearts.
How to save a man who has been disappointed in you? First, trust is the foundation of love.
Love is not afraid of time, distance and trust. With the feelings of trust, like a building with a foundation, it is more stable and stronger. The degree of trust between two people directly determines how far they can go together. Trust must be established between two people. Once there is a lie, the other party will generalize the lie about this matter to all lies and feel cheated by countless people.
Second, give yourself a fresh start.
Learn to untie the knot in your boyfriend's heart and be honest with each other. If you do something wrong, take the initiative to talk to your boyfriend calmly, explain your previous concealment and deception to the other party clearly, sincerely apologize to him and tell him that you did something wrong. Do not threaten each other in the name of love. Wrong is wrong. No excuses, sincere apology and timely correction are the effective measures to recover.
Third, make good use of interpersonal adjustment.
When two people are together, they always have the same friends. It may be better to persuade him through these friends and adjust your relationship. It is best to be his buddy and let the persuader think of him from his point of view, but in fact he is still speaking for you, letting people who know him enlighten him and let him relax his vigilance. If you have a good emotional foundation, you are more likely to help you save his heart.