In the workplace, even if you meet a boss of the opposite sex, the first thing to consider is personality differences, not gender differences. Because we want to work together, not get married.
I am a woman, and almost all the bosses I have experienced are men, and their leadership styles are quite different. Give three examples.
Shortly after joining the work, boss A is a very introverted person who pays great attention to details and never communicates except arranging work. I, a rookie, worked hard every day and thought I was doing well, but suddenly one day I was called by my boss to talk: I was fired! The reason is that I am not suitable for this job. At that time, I was young and ignorant. When I left, I was confused and full of tears. It took many years to react: isn't it because I'm not careful enough to meet his meticulous standards? But you can at least tell me, so that I can understand! It turns out that my relationship with him is so distant.
A few years later, I met my boss B. I had a smiling face like Maitreya, which was very cute. As his assistant, I also won his trust. Encouraged by his unremitting efforts, I began to lead the team to do training and made rapid progress. However, he is a person who has no concept of time, often writes empty checks, has many social activities and is extremely unreliable. Our relationship is lively "brothers" and comrades-in-arms, which exceeds ordinary superiors and subordinates.
Boss C spent the longest time with me. A foreigner, although married to a Chinese wife, does not understand Chinese. He is not as introverted and reserved as boss A, nor as lively and exaggerated as boss B. He is friendly and enthusiastic and never embarrassed. He also completely trusted me and gave me the maximum space and authority. But I am also very cautious, and those who should ask for instructions and report will definitely not act first. Our relationship is a subordinate relationship that follows the rules and respects each other.
These are all true, of course, many details are omitted. These bosses are not the only ones who have experienced it.
What I want to say is that in the workplace, we should ponder the boss's style, know his requirements and bottom line, and adapt to him as much as possible, so that we can cooperate without obstacles. Pay less attention to the gender of the boss, especially don't misread personality differences as gender differences, so as to make a mountain out of a molehill. There is no need to set restrictions on yourself except for things that need to be gender-specific (such as going to different bathrooms or doing some manual work).
Of course, if you are really sexually harassed by a boss of the opposite sex, it is another matter-not dealing with the problem of superiors and subordinates, but the problem of men and women.
Recently, we just released a series of videos on how to judge a stranger's personality from four aspects. Welcome everyone to have a look. Not only strangers, but anyone can be judged.
First of all, female subordinates should be clear-headed and principled. Since it is a superior-subordinate relationship, even if the other party is excellent and attractive, don't have any illusions. For example, you may be the most special one, or the other party is unmarried. You may think that you may be the terminator of the other party, and get along with each other normally, such as business is business.
Secondly, if the other person talks to you about an out-of-line topic in the office, he must make clear his bottom line at the first time, that is, he refuses to take the train earlier. In this case, smart people all know what to do in the future.
If you don't show the bottom line at the first time, the other party's temptation may have achieved its goal. Next time, there will be further attempts. Take a closer look at your workplace life, and most of them will test or challenge your endurance step by step.
In addition, you must know the static braking, that is, no matter what the other party says, you must keep your distance and stay awake. What you look at in the workplace at any time depends on your strength and problem-solving ability. Isn't that how old drivers in the workplace lie to little girls? Say a few good words and promise what benefits, and the girl will believe it.
If you meet an excellent male boss, instead of falling in love and struggling with how to deal with it, it is better to learn excellent content from each other and improve yourself.
So, there is nothing difficult to deal with. What is difficult is how to balance the gap between heart and reality for female subordinates who are budding in love. They are under great psychological pressure and can't solve it.
Always remember that men and women are different. Female subordinates should maintain a working relationship with their male superiors, and work and life must be clearly separated.
Everyone has worldly desires, and it is difficult to control the change of relationship. What's the use of your heart if you can control yourself? Only keep the working relationship, not personal feelings, so as to last for a long time, and you can also add your feelings to your life outside of work.
Office romance is forbidden in most enterprises, which makes sense, because if personal feelings are added to work, it will not only affect the development of both sides, but also affect work efficiency. If they don't grasp it well, both of them are in danger of losing their jobs, which will seriously lead to heavy losses for the company.
Female college students are only 28 years old this year. She is very beautiful and can get at least 75 points. I have a good relationship with her and work in the same city. This female classmate is single and her boss is thirty-five. She is married and has a strong working ability. Female students also gradually changed from previous appreciation to liking, and because of frequent contact at work, they also had a good impression on each other. They started dating. There is no airtight wall in the world. The boss's wife found out about their affair and went to the company to make a big scene. The final result is the same as that on TV. The female classmate resigned, and his boss was demoted and paid by the company because of this, but he was not fired for his contribution to the company. Of course, the two of them stopped here and deleted each other. It is because the relationship between female subordinates and male bosses is not treated correctly, and finally both sides lose.
If both female subordinates and male bosses are single, they also need to keep a certain distance. If two people really love each other, then one of them must leave or change departments, otherwise personal feelings will affect the decision-making at work, and feelings will affect the judgment and fairness at work.
If both female subordinates and male bosses have families or one of them has a family, it is even more necessary to keep a distance, which is limited to the communication at work, and private communication also needs a certain distance. There are many people staring at you behind your back in the workplace. If you are not careful, gossip will fly all over the sky, which will eventually affect the harmony of your family and the development of your work.
At work, it is easy for men and women to have some emotions when they are in contact. If you don't treat it correctly, or don't grasp the distance, it will bring some harm. So we should do:
1. The communication between male superiors and female subordinates is limited to the office, only talking about work issues, not personal matters. Of course, it is necessary for leaders to care about their subordinates, but it should be the same for everyone, and it should be in public, not in private.
2, two people get along, try to get along in public, avoid getting along in private space.
3. Control your feelings. Work is work and life is life. Don't confuse them.
If two people have intimate feelings, one person must leave, and must not be in the same office.
5, ordinary communication, don't be ambiguous, please use workplace language, although it will look different, but it is more conducive to the needs of work.
This relationship is still difficult. The relationship between superiors and subordinates is so good that people will make irresponsible remarks. If the relationship is too distant, the leader will think you are unqualified. In fact, the most important thing is to look at the individual's control of principles. People with principles will better control the distance of demolition.
I hope everyone will criticize and correct me and have better suggestions.
First of all, you should have the ability to work. If you have no ability, you are a vase that anyone can rub. Don't say sexism, it's the same for male subordinates and female leaders.
Secondly, you should be independent and know how to refuse. People get along with each other through constant signal exchange. If you don't know how to refuse, you just keep forbearing, which is a signal to the other party that you can go further. The "clearly indicating that the famous flower is taken" given by the above friends is a more appropriate way to refuse. Of course, depending on the personality of the leader, there may be the possibility that the other party will be angry and give you little shoes to wear. At this time, there is no need to complain. This is because the project decided not to find a male ticket but did not dispel the leadership idea at the beginning of the job. If you apply for a job next time, please remember not to miss this step again.
Finally, stop loss in time. If you feel that the harassment of the leader has reached an unbearable level, don't hesitate to leave. Call the police if possible. Conditional here means that based on your judgment on the influence of leaders in the industry, calling the police will not affect your future job search or even personal safety. Of course, from the perspective of protecting other female compatriots, it is appropriate to call the police, but we should also consider our own safety, right? This aspect involves differences in values, so I won't say much. Everyone has a different opinion.
In addition, the subject can still do a good job of self-protection, mainly for other professional women. In addition, opportunities always favor those who are prepared. It is recommended to protect yourself at ordinary times, and it is too late to find a way when danger comes. For example, keep fit, learn wolf prevention skills, prepare wolf prevention equipment, avoid going to unsafe places alone (it is best not to go alone, after all, a single male colleague sometimes can't solve the problem), don't be alone with the opposite sex who is not family (some male colleagues just look reliable, usually have no chance to commit crimes, and are easy to believe that outsiders are dead), and let relatives and friends know their destination, route and peer status when going out. These are not only applicable to the workplace, but also useful at other times.
Supplement 2: Speaking of this, there is no need for the subject to deliberately dress up as ugly, which will make the rookie lose his appetite, but judging his appearance, figure and sexual experience through makeup and clothes, even an honest and kind hamster like me can do it, let alone an old driver, so this will not reduce the harassment of the old pervert. What's more, the casual or decadent feeling of dressing will give the pervert a wrong signal, that is, you are restless and easy to break through. This is the real "flies bite cracked eggs"! To reduce harassment, it is best to be more confident, assertive and aggressive.
Supplement 3, for those who preach that "sexual harassment means that women dress too dissolutely and seduce men by discharging electricity", I want to say that you are so skilled at washing the floors of perverts, but you are actually perverts, right? Do something bad and instinctively throw the pot? In fact, this creature, the satyr, and the wolf have one thing in common, that is, they will observe every potential target that appears, and choose those women who look like bullies, have no background, have few friends, lack opinions, are not easy to call the police, tend to tolerate, and are easily intimidated (and vice versa, if there is a female satyr leader). Because it is a lower body conductor, there is usually no fixed standard scale, just. So basically,' flies don't stare at the eggs that haven't been sewn', but' flies bite the thinnest eggs one by one'. It is not that the harassed woman has done anything wrong, but that she is relatively easy to succeed. If this woman leaves, or becomes confident and tough, then the second most successful woman will become a new target. Therefore, the fault is not the victim, but the pervert.
Near and far, far and near.
Excellent work, fighting desire.
Support political parties and reject private meetings.
Return the courtesy, abandon the single visit.
First of all, clear gender boundaries. Some jokes can't be played, some gifts can't be given, and some occasions should be avoided.
Such as ambiguous gifts, perfume, belts, underwear and so on. It is usually not discussed, let alone given or accepted by each other.
You should try to avoid singing and drinking alone. What about the work company, business and leisure like Starbucks during the day?
In addition, like other female employees, keep an appropriate distance from the leader, neither near nor far. Do your job well, arrange your own work time and personal time, and let others know that you are a very limited person.
First of all, be generous and professional
Be professional and avoid ambiguity or excessive enthusiasm.
Second, try not to be alone.
If possible, try not to stay alone in a confined space with your male boss. Pay attention to your words and deeds when you have to. On the one hand, it reflects your quality and professionalism, on the other hand, it also shows your calm and down-to-earth personality, which is conducive to the promotion of your career and can also curb the harassment of your boss.
Third, prevent speculation.
If you need to stay for a long time, you can open the door or continue walking, which can restrain others' guesses and prevent other colleagues from isolating themselves because of misunderstanding.
Keep a good relationship between superiors and subordinates, do your own thing, stay away from each other's private lives, do more and talk less. It's best not to say ambiguous words. Just keep a good attitude, come on!
Ye Wei said that the workplace will help you become a great career. At the 20 19 Global Women Entrepreneurship Conference, Ma Yun said: "It is up to men to do things; Do things well by women; To get things done, men and women need Qi Xin to work together. No matter how strong a man is, he is nothing without a woman. We hope that men and women in this world can be balanced, and we hope that this world will be better. I envy and admire everyone and hope to be a good woman in my next life. "
As a technology company that knows women best in China, Alibaba is a company led by women. Ma Yun never said, "Without women, there would be no Alibaba." As one of the eighteen arhats of Alibaba, Peng Lei, Ma Yun's most effective assistant, is regarded as one of the three most influential female executives of global Internet companies. I once said a sentence that all leaders greatly appreciated and madly forwarded: "No matter what Ma Yun's decision is, my task is only one-to help this decision become the most correct one."
Peng Lei's short span of more than 30 words includes her infinite loyalty to Ma Yun, the leader of the company, and her strong executive power to resolutely implement the wise (or unwise) decisions of the leaders regardless of all difficulties. How can we not let the leaders be moved by it?
Nowadays, women are playing an increasingly important role in society. As a woman, working with a male boss should not only do a good job, but also give her extra points, relieve her worries and reflect her self-worth. She should also be humble in dealing with relationships and interpret her self-worth with gentleness, delicacy and courage unique to women.
Generally speaking, when women get along with male bosses, they often have certain advantages over men. For example, the affinity between the opposite sex is not available to male subordinates. Of course, women cannot abuse or rely on such advantages. We should understand that there are many rules for getting along with superiors and subordinates in the workplace. An excellent woman will always be good at giving full play to her advantages and know the successful rules of communication and cooperation with her boss, so that her code of conduct will be more appreciated and recognized. Therefore, when dealing with interpersonal relationships at work, we should grasp three barriers:
In the eyes of male bosses, female subordinates will be regarded as sisters. In the masculine and humanized bosses, they will always care about and love women, and the identity of women makes us feel no threat to male bosses, and they naturally have no special vigilance and prevention, which is more convenient for us to communicate ideas, make suggestions, ask questions and apply for tasks or positions.
As women, we should make full use of this advantage, seize the opportunity, enhance the boss's recognition of our understanding and ability, increase trust and expand a broader workplace working environment. This is of great benefit to our future development.
The boss has a heavy workload every day, and there are many problems to consider and solve. We pay attention to 50% of our own affairs, and the boss can only pay attention to 5%. At this time, you need to become an expert in your own position, be independent, provide valuable information for your boss, let your boss make decisions quickly, share worries and relieve stress for your leaders, and provide added value. The boss will also worry less because of your existence and set aside more time to do important things.
This is the foundation of your successful cooperation with your boss. For the matters assigned or consulted by the boss, we should not be sloppy, but improve the delivery ability and give feedback to the boss in time with unexpected results to make up for the boss's weaknesses.
In the workplace, our primary task is to do our job well and reduce the pressure and burden for leaders, so we should make use of women's delicacy and tenacity, persevere and work together with superiors. Let the boss feel our enthusiasm and passion for work, as well as our loyalty and follow-up.
Communicate with superiors in time and reasonably refuse things beyond your work ability. We must not force it, which will damage our reputation and image. Otherwise, your efforts and efforts will not only be recognized, but also bring devastating failure. Never promise to save face.
To sum up, as a woman, she has a delicate and flexible side, and she has the courage and courage to do things. When dealing with male bosses, we should grasp the three levels of interpersonal relationship and reflect our own value. If you can adapt to the boss's personality, stick to principles and keep integrity, then you can lead upward. Frankly communicating with your boss, providing added value and relieving their worries can make your boss feel relaxed and happy to have subordinates like you. Smart women will manage this relationship with their heart and become the masters of interpersonal relationships, thus helping them to achieve a perfect life.