But in the end, he was disappointed because the teacher said these two words in class:
"Do you know why your painting is not good? Because your painting is still very shallow. "
"Next class, you have to draw with the teacher ... you need to put pen to paper, and you need to master the complete balance of colors."
Even my daughter couldn't help complaining on her way home: this teacher is so boring!
Think about the meaning of drawing before you take the pen. If it doesn't make sense, then don't draw it?
Considering the atmosphere, fullness, balance ... when will your idea be considered?
In just two sentences, there is a big "pit"-the pursuit of meaning before the start, the consideration of rules after the start, meaningless and irregular, and then forced transformation.
Doing this kind of thing a few times more will kill children's talent, creativity and interest.
The bird entered the cage.
It is not uncommon to "educate" children with their own experiences and restrict their free play.
Once I took my daughter to play and met a little boy building blocks. First, I built a house, and then I drew a "semicircle" next to it. Then I shouted happily to my grandmother: "Grandma, look, this is a trap I set!" "
Grandma took a look and removed the building blocks put by the boy to help him put them back: "The trap is a deep well. How did this happen? " You piled it wrong ... "
The boy cried at once, and grandma was unhappy after seeing it: "What are you crying for? I'm helping you. Do you know what a trap is? Who would set a trap at home? You should be a well, and this well is quite deep. You have to have water ... "
The boy shouted angrily to his grandmother, "Go away, I don't need your help!" " "
Later, I vaguely heard the boy mutter "Cameli Duo". It happened that my daughter had read this picture book, so she asked: Are you catching birds in this trap?
It turned out that Cameli Duo (a little cock) was once trapped in a bird trap (an inverted bamboo basket), and the little boy was using this semicircle to simulate an inverted bamboo basket.
The boy was so surprised that he stopped crying in an instant and played with us in tears.
After a while, the little boy had a good time and called "Grandma …" as if to say something.
As a result, my grandmother's anger came: "What do you want me to do? Don't look for me! "
I couldn't help choking up when I looked at the little boy's face about to cry again. This situation has been repeated several times for him. Grandma's "trap" trapped the child's excellent abstract thinking ability.
Not only that, in grandma's eyes, the child will become a "crying, disobedient and grumpy" child. I never thought that these were caused by myself, and I will try to "reform" in the future. ...
"Pearl" is covered with dust.
A friend, a psychological counselor, participated in a public welfare psychological counseling activity in a primary school.
She met a first-year boy, and the class teacher commented on him as: introverted and unwilling to communicate with others; If you don't like learning, your grades can't keep up.
In the process of consultation, the class teacher participates in the whole process, hoping that through consultation, the children can reflect and change.
At first, the boy stared at the strange consultant and didn't want to talk much, but he answered the question politely.
Until talking about the boy's favorite science class, the child suddenly opened the box-children especially like reading science and nature stories, ants, dinosaurs, insects-eating grass ... The child spoke vividly and danced, and the class teacher on the side could not help but be surprised.
Who says such children don't want to communicate with others and don't like learning?
But after looking at the teacher in charge of the class, the little guy bowed his head and said that he didn't study well and always failed in the exam ... The so-called "grades can't keep up" just failed in the exam.
At the end of the consultation, it was not the child who changed, but the class teacher-looking at the smart and lovely child in the consultation process and imagining him sitting in the classroom silently, the class teacher felt ashamed:
Shame for not having enough patience to find the child's flash;
It is a shame to always judge by narrow, single and self-righteous standards;
What is even more shameful is that I always thought that "it is this child who needs to be reformed."
Let a hundred flowers blossom, each with its own strong points, but they all need to be printed in the same mold, and the appearance is standardized, which is the fine product, otherwise it is the defective product.
Children who were originally shining with pearls and jade luster were covered with a layer of gray by dogmatic standards; Educators wake up in time and have a chance to dust themselves off, otherwise, children will face the dilemma of being crushed to pieces.
The trapped beast eats itself.
When children are young, the single rigid rules and regulations are-the moon must be round, the river must be blue, and good children must get good grades and be lively and outgoing. ...
When the children grow up, these solidified standards will become: there is no hope for boys to learn literature, and girls are embarrassed to learn theory. They must be admitted to universities and civil servants ... Listen to the road I arranged for you and live according to my wishes.
Adults who don't care about small problems, don't reflect, and finally have big problems.
For example, once a tramp exploded on the Internet.
He used to have a decent and stable job in the audit office of a first-tier city. He is knowledgeable and has a certain social status, which is a successful child in the eyes of many parents.
However, he finally gave up all the aura and chose to be a tramp, because all this was not what he wanted.
When he was a child, he liked painting and reading books on literature and history, and wanted to study China or international politics.
However, his father strongly opposed his hobby, limited him with his own standards and reformed him.
Finally, at the strong request of his father, he chose auditing and entered the auditing bureau after graduation.
He was forced to embark on a road he didn't like, which made it difficult for him to adapt. So a few years after graduation, he left home, left his work unit and began to wander alone.
It is not impossible for him to take responsibility for himself, correct the road and live the life he wants, but he has chosen this wandering life now, more likely because he has been trapped in a "desperate situation" for too long, and he prefers self-destruction to severe revenge.
"You see, I can meet your standards, but I'm not as good as you want!"
Someone once asked an old teacher who had been teaching for more than 20 years: "You have been teaching for more than 20 years. What is the saddest thing? "
The teacher replied, "I just watched those gifted children become mediocre one by one."
This kind of thing has been happening:
Some children just show a strong interest in something, and they are arbitrarily denied by adults: meaningless and irregular.
Some children's talents are budding, but because of the limited vision of adults, they are eager for quick success and instant benefit, and they are obliterated by interests and go to the other extreme.
Some children may have unlimited potential in art and sports, but because their parents want TA to have a stable job and a stable life in the secular sense, they live a mediocre life.
Those who are good at it are not allowed to do it, and those who don't like it are forced to learn. How many "swift horses" have no time to run, they first "discount one leg" and limp on the planned road, but they can't help but give up on themselves.
If you can't be Bole, don't be a stumbling block.
When I was a child, adults always added a sentence at the end: "This story tells us a truth of XX ..."
The Race between the Tortoise and the Rabbit is "Don't be complacent, persistence is victory";
"wolf" means "lying will lose trust";
The little match girl is "compassionate and caring for the weak"
……
These truths have been circulating for a long time, extremely correct and irrefutable. After a long time, when we meet the same thing, a shaped answer naturally pops up in our mind.
Sometimes we limit children's thinking and destroy their talents. It's really unintentional, but we may be trapped ourselves, and then we look for a sword in the child:
For example, grandma who insists that "traps can't be like wells";
For example, teachers who think that "good students must be outgoing and lively, and their scores will double";
For example, parents who insist that "writing articles has no way out, or choosing a major that is easy to find a job is more reliable".
Children who have not yet formed a mindset can always find different highlights and highlights. From the perspective of ta, we can't help but feel that "it can still be like this":
The tortoise in The Race between the Tortoise and the Rabbit is too confident to agree to race with the rabbit. Winning is luck. The tortoise didn't meet the proud rabbit, but it was the tortoise who lost. You still have to know yourself.
The children in Wolf must be very lonely. Without family, they will tell such silly lies to amuse themselves, so adults should spend more time with their children.
Why does the little match girl feel sorry for herself when she is frustrated? She can ask for help, she can knock on doors, and maybe she will meet a kind person to take her in.
When you open your heart, you will find that children, like these stories, have their own wonderful and meaningful stories in different details and aspects.
Those children who are happy and successful in the end are not supported by a set of dogmas, but find their own way.
For us, it is more important than paving the road blindly. Don't forget to always look at the evaluation criteria we hold tightly and be an adult who doesn't matter.
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Brief introduction of the author
A Guai, an original content editor of Yin Jianli Parents' School, is a child care worker, constantly learning and spreading knowledge about child care. We grew up together on the way to raising a baby.