Student question: How does asexual marriage maintain intimacy?
Teacher Lin replied: If two people know this situation and are willing, they can maintain a good close relationship. If one party doesn't want to, the marriage will go wrong. There may be many reasons to ask why there is no sexual relationship. Marriage is basically for intimacy. In order to meet the nature of human connection, there are three main aspects of connection. Physical, psychological and spiritual ... sexual relations are one of them, but not the only one. For example, when people get old, their sexual relationship will gradually weaken ... and if they have a good spiritual connection, they can still maintain a good relationship. So it depends on whether the needy party is willing to maintain this marriage, and if so, how to make themselves better in this marriage.
Student question: I have resistance to my mother. If my mother won't let go of her accusation, I won't let go of her refusal. How can I change this situation?
Teacher Lin replied: Learn to communicate consistently. Tell each other where our boundaries are. Slowly, the other person will understand that there are some things that he can't control me anyway. If he wants to continue, then we have to stay away from him. If we have some inappropriate responses, let the other party feel that it is effective to continue such communication, but we are teaching him to continue to do so. When we can really communicate consistently, we can communicate with anyone.
The so-called goal of all mankind is to accept that parents are human beings, not just to get along with their own roles.
Everyone has a history of growth, which determines what he knows and what he doesn't know. At the same time, everyone can be the terminator of some bad model.
Do you know your parents' childhood? What kind of environment did they grow up in? Do their parents love them? Have they ever had their own ideals? Will someone hug them when they are in pain? ……
The fantasy journey of parents' childhood takes you to experience your parents' childhood, accept your parents and bless them.
Three generations of family of origin remoulding: remoulding parents' family of origin, from which we can see parents' living mode and unfulfilled expectations in their respective family of origin. What did you find when you returned to your own family of origin? What is your new decision?
When Mr. Lin did the self-acceptance session yesterday afternoon, I only accepted my husband, but I couldn't accept myself, because I was very dissatisfied with my situation these days. It suddenly dawned on me this morning. My dissatisfaction actually shows that I am a person who loves life. I accept my dissatisfaction. It tells me that no matter how busy I am, I will stop to take care of myself and life, because I am not only a person who loves learning, but also a person who loves life. Thank you, Mr. Lin, for giving me a different perspective, giving me more choices and more freedom.
—— Excerpted from the sharing of student Ms. Liang.
Persevering communication will show your truest side. I can clearly know that I have such expectations. When I express my expectations, I know how much I care about this relationship. When the other person tells me that he loves me very much, my body really has a kind of energy flowing, moving, warming and understanding. This kind of communication is stress-free and unguarded. It is a kind of spiritual communication, and you can open yourself safely. In this kind of communication, the relationship is so simple and natural. Seeing is love. When I feel that I have been seen, my heart is full of understanding.
————— Excerpted from Ms. Student Fee.
Dr. Lin has been engaged in psychological counseling and teaching for nearly 30 years, and served as the host of psychological counseling program in radio station 15 years, and has accumulated more than 20,000 hours of consulting experience, especially in children's treatment, parent-child relationship and family relationship. Throughout Asia, the name Lin is a brand, representing the best parent-child and Satya training.
● Dr. Chae Min Lim's Recent Course (Guangzhou Station)
Satiya parent-child workshop
Satya gender workshop
Satya certificate category (1 grade) 20 17.8.2 1-25)
Satya certificate advanced class (level 2)