Adolescence is a period when children's emotions erupt.
After becoming a middle school student, my peaceful mood suddenly rises and falls, just like riding a roller coaster. My mood will fluctuate several times a day, sometimes good and sometimes bad, I will be upset for no reason, and I will lose my temper when I hear my mother's nagging. My mother said, "I have been obedient until I graduated from primary school." After attending middle school, I suddenly became like an alien, which made her feel very strange. " My grandmother, who brought me up since I was a child, always said that I was very docile when I was in primary school, but I seemed to be a different person when I arrived in middle school. It seems that my father is the most confused about my change. In order to get to know me better, I don't know which day I bought some books related to adolescence to read. Although I understand his good intentions, I haven't changed much. As long as my mother's voice is raised a little, my patience will fall apart at once.
I am like an active volcano that may erupt at any time. I'm not the only one. Some students who usually seem to have a good temper will do the same when they are angry. Even a boy in my junior high school class is very naughty and often makes others laugh, but once he is annoyed, he will immediately stare big eyes and constantly abuse each other. If you still don't feel Japanese, just cry on your desk. In high school, a classmate was very quiet and always talked with a smile. She looked generous all day, and her pent-up anger finally broke out. She kicked the table and cursed the adolescent children. If the people around her don't listen carefully and make noise, he will scold: "Shit! Little bastard, do you want to die! Am I so easy to bully? Running around like a madman. Looking at the temperament of the students around me, there has been a 180 degree turn. I don't know why I feel that they have become very strange, and I am even a little scared.
If there are people who have emotional tsunami every day, then there are people who are as calm as a lake. In Grade Two, our head teacher was a female teacher named Jin. Miss Jin often smiles in front of us, but she is very dignified. None of her classmates refuted her. When other teachers severely reprimand us, our mood will immediately become very bad, and we can't even think about what mistakes we made. But if we are lectured by Mr. Jin, I don't know why we feel sorry. Many students will say, "I made you sad this time, and it won't happen again." Later, Teacher Jin moved to Singapore because of her husband's work, which ended our short fate, but left a deep memory in our hearts. "
Emotional management of Qingcheng spiritual growth study tour (image source network)
Come to think of it carefully, everyone's truest face will only be revealed when he is angry. Even if you have a crush on someone, you will still hate him when he loses his temper and loses his temper with you. He can't get angry like a volcano and tsunami and change his mind. Because the flames of volcanoes will burn each other's hearts, and the waves of tsunami will take away each other's thoughts. On the other hand, if a person can be calm, reasonable and emotional when he is angry, then you will naturally have a good impression on him. The problem is that I know all the truth, but I still can't control the ups and downs like a roller coaster. Sometimes my emotional tsunami will sweep my mother, teachers, friends and even myself. If only I could calm myself like Mr. Jin!
Open the emotional box and release it.
The inner feelings of teenagers whose emotions change like roller coasters.
Adolescence is often called a stormy period, because children in this period are often emotional and changeable. Many parents suddenly become too sensitive and neurotic when they see a child who is still very docile in primary school. There is always a feeling in their hearts: "This period has finally arrived! A mother even told me that she was afraid to talk to her children. Generally speaking, many children are easily emotional. There are also some children who are quiet on the surface, but their hearts are rough. As mentioned earlier, these children are different from our common rebellious teenagers. They are passive and aggressive.
One day, a child who seems to listen to his parents and elders on weekdays was taken to my consulting room. When his mother and other elders reprimanded him, the child always replied, "I know, but in fact, he always skipped class and didn't want to go to school. He didn't even turn over his books before the exam." The mother took him to the consulting room with a depressed mood. When he appeared in front of me, his eyes were full of anger. Because of the disagreement between parents at home, the child was deeply hurt. He buried all these pains in his heart and didn't communicate with others, as if he were completely living in his own world. Children who are passive-aggressive generally look decadent. They often punish their parents, teachers and even themselves with an "idle" attitude, as if to get back at everyone. With the deepening of the conversation, this seemingly dull child suddenly seems to have become an active volcano that may erupt at any time.
Children can't adjust their emotions well, and they are always rebellious. There are computer or "peer culture" reasons behind this. Today's children are exposed to computer games too early, and their ability to adjust their emotions has dropped a lot. The excessive proliferation of network information makes it easy for teenagers to get everything they want (their desires are over-satisfied). Therefore, children's frustration tolerance and self-adjustment ability are very demanding, and they will be dissatisfied if they are not satisfied. Another problem has been greatly reduced, which happens to a few people, that is, being immersed in the virtual world for a long time will make unrealistic judgments and even act impulsively when encountering real problems.
Emotional management of Qingcheng spiritual growth study tour (image source network)
Positive performance
Modern psychology or brain science research shows that hormones, family atmosphere and the influence of computers will make adolescent children's emotions boil, so parents' help is particularly necessary for children. Fortunately, the child's brain is still in the process of remodeling and development, but it is not fully mature. It is precisely because of this that the role of parents in this period is more important than at any time. Parents should understand that their children's brains are still developing, and they should give them more tolerance.
Psychoanalyst Winnicott said that it is good for a child to vent his aggression without fear. It would be great if parents could sort out the specific context of their children's irritability and rebellion. It is better to be tolerant of children than to criticize and suppress them. It's bad for a child to get angry with you. You can get angry with him with the same strength, or punish him severely. Parents may wish to unplug the plug that blocks the children's emotional gas tank, let the children's inner emotions be fully vented with understanding and tolerance, and then cover the plug later. This is a way to help adolescent children adjust their emotions more intelligently. As long as this persists for a period of time, at some point, the period of interaction between children's perceptual brain and rational brain will come. When the emotional brain matures, children will gradually converge their intense emotions and show a gentle side.
Enjoy tolerance and unlimited tempering.
It is a very hard process for parents to tolerate their children's emotions with enough patience until their children are mature and sensible. The more intense the child's emotional venting is, the greater the stimulation that parents suffer. Being away from your parents is like standing in a typhoon, isn't it? Simple things. Therefore, at this time, parents must hold the mentality of panning for gold in the desert, find something worthy of recognition in their children's fierce emotions and fickle behaviors, and believe that all their performances are normal. While listening to their children's voices, parents will also realize that there is something wrong with their behavior. Parents should realize that no matter who is in adolescence, this kind of behavior may occur. Therefore, parents should wait patiently for them to become mature, try their best to find the good aspects of their children and actively support them. Over time, the little happiness in their hearts will naturally grow up. In addition, if the child's emotions are too excited, don't just scold and suppress the child's negative emotions, it is better to regard this as an emotional release of the child. If children lose their temper and are labeled as "releasing emotions", they will naturally stop losing their temper in order to attract others' attention. Just like morning glory always blooms in the morning and closes when the sun rises; Children's negative emotions are only temporary reactions, and then they will always converge.
Communication is also important for children and parents. Parents should not accuse their children of being unreasonable, but should see the emotions contained in their unreasonable troubles and communicate with them on this basis. Pointing out what the child did wrong and reprimanding him will only make the child suppress his true feelings and even close his heart. Parents should clearly tell their children what bad behavior is, what can and can't be done, and draw clear boundaries. Only when children's inner feelings and emotions are honed can they be closer to their parents and better rush to tomorrow. (Source "Adolescence is right, children are right all their lives, and 45 keys to open the hearts of adolescent children"? Address, translated by Li Yujing (Yu Tao)
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