If you can't clean up the situation at work because of being misquoted or misunderstood, then you will know how easily actions and words are misunderstood. Janel Anderson, the owner of Working Conversations, a communication consulting company, and the author of "Face to Face: How to Solve Difficult Conversations Directly", said that misunderstandings stem from communication, and we are often too busy to clarify and derail.
She said: "We want others to agree with us and our current culture, that is, we have done too many things and don't have enough time to do them." In fact, when we don't ask enough questions and effectively let them know whether they agree or not, we often come to a conclusion.
Here are five common situations that lead to misunderstanding and how to get everyone back to the same page.
1. Division of labor
When people work together in a team, everyone's role needs to be clear. Any ambiguity will lead to misunderstanding. At the beginning of the project, put forward the responsibilities and expectations in writing and check them regularly to ensure that everyone knows their role.
Brian Kelley, vice president, said: "Everyone should see their colleagues make contributions, everyone is working towards the goal, and make sure everyone's role is clear, so that you can avoid confusion or dissatisfaction, because others don't share it fairly." . Public relations and employee engagement of Sage Communications, a marketing and public relations company. "What is the fair share? Make sure you define it from the beginning, so there is no problem. "
2. When communicating company goals
Most leaders believe that they are conveying overall information, such as goals, strategies, problems and projects. Heidi Pozzo, the founder of Pozzo Consulting, a strategic consulting company, said that they may be communicating, but it is often not the whole team.
"There is usually a lot of discussion within the leadership team, so I think everyone should understand," she said. "The challenge is that the group that needs to hear may only hear the leader once or twice."
Brad Druser, CEO of Deutser, a leadership consulting firm, and the author of "Leadership Clarity: A Breakthrough Strategy for Releasing Talents and Profits", said that leaders need to be clear not only about the starting point, but also about the ways and key contact points of the required state. And performance. "Determining the path is the basis for achieving the ideal final state," he said. "A leader with clear goals is committed to carefully defining this path, eliminating any potential transfer and ensuring clarity."
3. When communicating by email
Anderson said that e-mail often leads to misunderstanding because it eliminates social clues, such as intonation, eye contact or facial expressions, and helps us understand information.
She said: "When email misunderstanding happens, people will feel threatened and become defensive." "To avoid this misunderstanding, I suggest following three rules: If you have exchanged three emails and you don't understand each other, please pick up the phone and talk to them in person."
4. When discussing career goals
Kelly said that in the process of feedback or performance evaluation, there is often a disconnect. "It's easy to send a negative message when you actually ask for something completely different," he said.
For example, if someone says, "I work too hard and spend too much time on this salary", they may mean that they feel undervalued, or that there is something wrong with their work/life balance.
Kelly said: "Don't summarize, always assume that the other party comes from a positive position." He added that it is important to know what you know about employees and read in different ways. "Make sure you correctly accept and respond to their information from this positive intention, and instruct them how to convey their misunderstanding more effectively in the future."
Ed McNamara, senior director of marketing and communication at SHI International, a software company, added that it is important to determine employees' long-term personal and career goals. "Some employees are very good at asking what they want;" Others may wait to be invited, but that doesn't mean they want less, "he said."
5. When you hear the third person message.
As the saying goes, too many cooks spoil things, and too many voices will spoil information. Jessica Schaeffer, director of marketing and communication at LaSalle Network, a human resources company, said: "When people send information to each other, there will be many misunderstandings at work. "Someone said something and then told another person that he was talking to you," she said. "This may be related to business or corporate politics, but it usually leads to misunderstanding."
Schaefer said that it is important not to jump to conclusions and take defensive measures. "Go back to the original person and ask for clarification," she said. "Eliminate middlemen and get information directly. Sometimes, the middleman will misunderstand excitement as frustration or anger, or worse, he can't know well whether this person can accept important background or nonverbal clues and convey information incorrectly. "
Why are misunderstandings common?
Anderson said that the human brain is a feeling-making machine, and it wants to know why someone has done something or can't do something. "Without information, we create motives, and we are usually wrong," she said.
In all these cases, when you think someone has deliberately wronged you, the best way to relieve it is to stop and check yourself. Anderson said: "Ask yourself how much hard evidence you have to support your conclusion that the other party's behavior is malicious." "If you don't have much or any evidence, you should be curious and ask them why they did it. Suppose you have the right intention until you have conclusive evidence to the contrary. "