Consultation process:
Tourist Ms. Xu, a middle school psychology teacher, is about 40 years old. Because she is different from her husband's parenting style, she is very upset. She thinks that her husband doesn't recognize and respect himself enough, and the relationship with her husband can't be nourished. Then through the conversation, I learned that she thinks that her husband's family are all picky, especially her mother-in-law and husband, and they are not satisfied with themselves. I have changed a lot, and I have been studying, but the process of change is too painful, and I can't get my husband's approval, and I haven't improved much. Counselors score their past and present selves and husbands through measurement and scoring. The results show that he has improved by about four points, and his husband has changed by about two points. Through grading, visitors can see that the changes they have made are not beautiful or effective, and their husbands have been influenced by themselves and made positive changes. After in-depth guidance, visitors learned that their inner strength is insufficient and their childhood trauma is more. Because of the time, we didn't dig deep into the inner trauma of visitors, but presented the inner state of visitors through the sand table. Visitors stayed in front of the sand rack for a long time and kept playing with the sand. In the end, I only chose a girl's sand set and said that she represented herself. The girl stood with her face hidden, with a melancholy expression. The visitor simply put the sand tools in the middle of the sand table and said, "I don't want to put anything." Then a yellow dancer was arranged behind the girl and said, this is the one I want to be in the future, dancing freely and living wonderfully. When the consultant instructed the visitor how to become a dancer, the visitor put a big rockery in front of the little girl, saying that there were great obstacles in front of the little girl. After guidance, this obstacle is your inner strength and the support system around you. The goal of consultation gradually became clear in the second half, one is to improve the current relationship with her husband, and the other is to increase the internal strength of visitors. The consultant left two homework assignments for the visitors. First, praise your husband once a day, either by WeChat, by phone or in person. Second, keep a conscious diary every day to understand your own cognitive, communication and coping patterns. In the end, tourists feel very dull and their inner strength has been slightly improved.
Summary of the consultant's feelings:
I participated in many consulting group exercises and learned a lot of consulting skills. This is my first real consultation as a psychological counselor. First, visitors take the initiative to ask for help; The second is to collect consulting fees; Third, consultation is conducted by consultants. Therefore, I also use the mentality and identity of a professional psychological counselor to meet this consultation. Calm, confident, devoted, calm. There are many things I do well: 1, which anchors my stability as a consultant and is not taken away by the language emotions of visitors. At first, the visitor said with spite and resistance that there was nothing to talk about, but I said calmly, let's talk about our recent life! Because I feel that the visitors are unwilling to talk, I will not let the visitors choose whether to talk or not by asking for advice at this time, but directly guide the visitors to talk about this topic to introduce the consultation. The tourists also accepted it and quickly entered the state. Later, the tourist couldn't help crying when he talked about the excitement, but I was not moved. According to my feelings, I find the positive side in situations that she thinks are bad, and guide visitors to find the positive side. 2. The consultation process is very concentrated and pays close attention to visitors. Through careful listening, positive attention and true feelings, visitors feel my trustworthiness, my enthusiasm and sincerity. 3. It has played a guiding role and aroused tourists' reflection and perception. As a consultant, I don't have many comments and suggestions. Through objective vision and language, guide visitors to find their own shortcomings, husband's advantages, the crux of the problem, their own hearts, the back of the relationship and so on. 4. It is reasonable to control the whole consultation process. The whole consultation process takes about an hour, and the time is not too out of control. It is better to cut into the use of the sand table in time and pull it back in time when the visitors are chattering. When the negotiation draws to a close, the talks can naturally end.
Disadvantages: 1, the time control is not strict enough, it is set to one hour, but actually it is overtime for more than ten minutes. The ending is a little hasty. 2. I am not sensitive to visitors' questions, and there will be a lot of useless conversations in the whole process. 3. The consulting objective is not clear enough.
On the whole, my visitors and I are quite satisfied with the effect of this consultation, and I am glad to have finished the work I started. In the whole process, I found that unconsciously, a lot of knowledge I usually learned jumped into my mind unconsciously, and then I naturally used it. For example, enthusiasm, * * * emotions, active attention, listening, face quality, content response, emotional response, etc. In the basic skills of consultation, even when talking about the relationship between visitors and husbands, I also applied the timeline technology mentioned by Teacher Qiu. Another point is that I can use Miss Mishan's natural therapy, because the time relationship is useless and unnecessary, but I am keenly aware that this place can be cut in. So we can get three experiences: first, all consulting technologies are tools to serve the consulting effect. No matter what kind of consulting school and consulting technology, they are not static and single in the real consulting process, but they can be integrated and supplemented with each other. Tools and techniques are auxiliary, not an end. This time, it should have been based on sand table consultation. In fact, the whole sand table process took less than 20 minutes, and other talks also achieved good results. Second, all success is not accidental. The previous efforts will not be in vain and will help you when needed. I used to learn things that I didn't need at all, thinking that I had forgotten everything I learned and learned for nothing. However, I found that everything I learned was rooted in my mind, and he was still there when I used it. Only by applying what you have learned can you play the role and significance of knowledge itself. Third, I hate less when I use books. There are many basic skills in what you usually learn, which you can't use only in real consultation, but you can easily and skillfully use them in consultation through your own constant practice. For example, some fixed words, guiding words, meditations and so on. , all need practice and proficiency. This is what you usually need to pay attention to and work hard. Only with solid basic skills, after full preparation and deliberate practice, success must be inevitable!
Some people say that your current temperament hides the road you have traveled, the books you have read and the people you have loved. Yes, all the knowledge and efforts we have learned will become a part of our body and mind. It's not that you don't have a chance, that you can't succeed, that you're not prepared enough, that you don't pay enough, that you don't work hard enough! Work hard, stick to it, and there will be gains in the end!
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